Si Joint vs. Herniated Disk - Please help

[tigerlilly]

Hello my fellow TMS'rs. Would love your feedback on this - I can't find anything specific in searching the forums. And since I'm self-diagnosing due to no TMS docs in Florida.........I need all the help I can get!

I'm 41. Since early teens I have gone to a chiropractor on and off for lower back going "out." Seems my Si joint chronically goes out for a time, and then will "hold" for a long while. And then go through a spurt of going out and not holding an adjustment for a period of time. With kinesiology/muscle testing that my chiro practices, it seems I have chronic weak adrenal issues that are supposedly related to why it is going out and not wanting to hold.

I've been confined to bed on and off for the last several months (100% confined since January 31 minus bathroom and shower time) due to what has been blamed on a severe herniated disk at L5/S1 through MRI. (They want to do microdiscectomy). I believe 100% that I'm a TMS case and so I'm not in doubt of this. I do not believe the herniated disc is causing my pain. (the disk and Si joint are both on the same R. side)

Here leads to my question: When I've had my Si joint out, I always feel so much better when it is put back in alignment, even if it is temporary. I know when it is officially "out" because of the specific pain I feel, and because my leg/foot turns slightly outwards (ducklike) when I walk. The pain is so much worse/crippling than "usual" pain that is keeping me in bed. When the chiro checks to see if it is out, I can feel and tell that one leg is longer than the other - when he adjusts it, everything is lined up and I get relief.

So question: In addition to the TMS, is it possible or is it okay to get the Si joint adjusted on occasion to be put back in alignment (to be in less pain as I work on the TMS)? Or is it all part of a TMS issue? If so, how do I make sense of it all? I so much want to push through this and be able to at least walk at this point - when I try to give the pain the finger and push through it and yell at my brain like so many have testified to, it only makes the pain worse. Is it possible I have two different issues going on (TMS + Si joint misalignment)? I don't want to go to chiro if it is only going to enable more focus on the pain, but I don't want to ignore going if it will help in the healing process.

Help! I appreciate any and all feedback!

 

[Huckleberry]

I'm on the SI joint merry go round...saw an osteopath about 2 years ago who gave me the SI joint being out and twisted pelvis diagnosis. She did an adjustment but it didn't really help so didn't go back. My pain flares up but nobody is putting my SI joint back in so to speak so I'm really unsure if the diagnosis makes sense to me. My understanding is that the SI joint is pretty fixed (the SI joint dysfunction dx is poo poo'ed my many professionals) so if it was 'out' for any reason surely that compensation would be taken care of and the body would adjust accordingly. Constantly having the joint manipulated sounds to me like a recipe for more pain and confusion. Interesting that the adjustment helps though...I'm sure most people with a TMS school of thought would just call placebo but who knows.

 

[Ellen]

Hi tgrllyct,
I'm so sorry to hear that you are so much pain and are confined to bed. That is no way to live! Did you know that the TMS doctors listed at the link below will provide consultation via Skype? You can send them your MRIs and other reports and they will review them and advise you. This may be the way to go for you in order to get your questions answered.

http://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Find_a_TMS_Doctor_or_Therapist

I hope this information may be useful. Wishing you the best...

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

That's a big help for the SI joint sufferers, Ellen. I hope they get help,
but meanwhile I also hope they work on accepting TMS and discovering their repressed emotions.

 

[tigerlilly]

Excellent link and feedback, Ellen - thank you! I forgot that this link was on the forum (so much information for a newbie to take in!)

Walt - I accept the TMS and am totally on board with it. Too many strange happenings to be anything different. I guess I need reassurance that I'm not dealing with two separate issues as I work through this!

 

[lolaskip]

Hi Tigerlily,

I have a similar diagnosis re: SI joint dysfunction and am just beginning to explore how much of this is actually TMS. I have similar symptoms that you mention--leg length changes, pops and clicks, and leg pain in certain places (mostly my feet.)

Have you had any luck? I'm having trouble wrapping my head around the idea there's no mechanical problem when we seem to see and feel so much evidence to the contrary. Although, I've read many others have anomalies on MRI and succeed at living pain free.

Looking forward to your thoughts!

 

[E. Lynn]

Hi, I just posted on the success stories forum some info about my SI joint problems. It is under "Made some progress." I've dealt with Si pain since I was twenty and have just turned 40. Have went to the chiropractor for YEARs, off and on. I don't think there is anything wrong in my OPINION with going to the chiro if it makes you feel better, as long as you keep learning about TMS and applying the principles so you will eventually get better. I just had some SI joint pain the other night, and once I realized it was from my emotions of being upset with a famly member, it went away. Weird, isn't it? I highly recommend reading Steve O's book, the Great Pain deception. It helped me more than SArno's books.

E. Lynn

 

[tigerlilly]

Hi lolaskip -

SI joint dysfunction, leg length changes, etc. It's all farce. The short answer to your question is, yes, I have had amazing success in treating my symptoms as TMS. In fact, I would say I am 99% pain free - I can function as a normal human being and there really isn't anything that I can't do, which is a pretty amazing success story if you read my original post above. I was in bed for a total of 7 months.

I know that it's a hard leap of faith to buy into TMS and ignore everything the doctors are telling you. But you MUST - you must divorce everything you have learned conventionally and you must believe TMS 1000%, no matter what. I don't care how much it makes sense on paper and in your mind to say that "x symptoms = a structural problem." Trust me when I tell you that I know how hard that is to do. Your mind will never give up in trying to convince you otherwise, even after you've made progress. I don't know if you have read my other posts or not, but the BOTTOM LINE that I have learned from the pain is this: PAIN EQUALS FEAR. Everything that you want is on the other side of fear. Remember that. It's an important mantra as you start this journey. Conquer the fear, lose the pain. It's that simple. And yet, that difficult. We live in a society where fear reigns supreme. If you stop and ponder that, you will see it. All the fear from the media. Entertainment (books, movies, TV, etc). All the doctors journals and ads telling us about all those diseases that are out there. Fear. Fear. Fear. Divorce it - do not buy into it anymore!!!

What is interesting is that as I was starting to make progress, my back would "go out," or at least that's what I would call it. That horrible crippling feeling where you can hardly move, and you feel like the only thing that will help is by going to get a chiropractic adjustment. That's what I used to do in the past. This time, I ignored the pain, and I did as much as I physically could do (albeit in slow motion!) I would repeat over and over again that there was nothing physically wrong with me. Three days later, guess what? The pain went away. I didn't need a physical adjustment; I needed a mental adjustment!! It worked. After that, no matter what my mind/brain tried to get me to believe, I fought it and repeated over and over again (silently and out loud depending on the situation): THERE IS NOTHING PHYSICALLY WRONG WITH ME. And then I would move forward in doing as much as I physically could do in that moment. The pain eventually started to melt away...........SO slowly. But it did melt. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't experienced it myself. So you are probably going through all of those doubts right now that everyone experiences on this journey. Use this forum to read success stories and build up your faith. If you fall momentarily, be determined to get back in the saddle. You WILL be successful.

Here are the tools that helped me personally to heal, for whatever it is worth:

• Healing Back Pain (Dr. Sarno) - both the physical book and the audio book (there is something soothing about hearing Dr. Sarno speak, and you can replay it over and over again as you have doubts)
• The Great Pain Deception (Steve Ozanich). Nothing short of amazing. A must read.
• Hope and Help For Your Nerves (Claire Weekes) - both the audio version and the book. Again, hearing Dr. Weekes voice on the audio is so helpful - it is like she is holding your hand through the journey.
• Journaling. I created a journal on Microsoft Note, and typed my little fingers away. Face the past. Face the fears. Let the tears run. And allow yourself to heal.
• Breathing exercises. Meditation. I didn't do this as much as I would have liked, but found it to be very soothing and helpful in calming my nerves and pain.
• My two favorite mantras that resonated within me (and you will find your own that works for you): "There is nothing physically wrong with me." "Everything that you want is on the other side of fear." "I am fearless."

I wish you the best on this journey, lolaskip. Feel free to ask any questions. This is a great forum. I haven't been on it for some time since I've been out and about ENJOYING LIFE since I can do that once again. I hope you get to this same place!

Cheers!
tigerlilly

Hi Tigerlily,

I have a similar diagnosis re: SI joint dysfunction and am just beginning to explore how much of this is actually TMS. I have similar symptoms that you mention--leg length changes, pops and clicks, and leg pain in certain places (mostly my feet.)

Have you had any luck? I'm having trouble wrapping my head around the idea there's no mechanical problem when we seem to see and feel so much evidence to the contrary. Although, I've read many others have anomalies on MRI and succeed at living pain free.

Looking forward to your thoughts!

 

[lolaskip]

Tigerlily,

I can't tell you how helpful this is. I really needed to hear someone with similar symptoms made it to the other side. I'm so glad to hear you are out living life! I started work again this week and, as I have a physical job, I was worried I would lose the progress I had made in the last few weeks. While I have had slightly more pain, I realized it actually began to escalate the night BEFORE work. And guess what...less popping this week in my SI joint! Here's to hopefully being on the right track!

 

[catherinet]

I am on Day 1 and I just joined this forum. I read tigerlillys first post from Feb 2014 and that was ME in the fall of 2013, and sadly it is me again RIGHT NOW. Imagine my surprise when I read on and saw that she had healed herself.

The most useful thing I've read here is that PAIN=FEAR because my pain coincided with falling in love, which sounds so perverse as I write it. But it's true. I'd lived my whole life mostly running from intimate partnership and then I met someone who was just not going to let me go easily! And I've felt terrified, ensnared, trapped and cornered, but also elated, ecstatic, serene and content. It's all a part of life and LOVE but I've been protecting myself from it for so long out of fear of ending up like my mother, trapped in a toxic marriage and living for her children.

I realize I'm going on a psychotherapy tangent here but for me, the mention of FEAR got my attention because Sarno is always talking about rage and anger and while I have those, my mind has been totally dominated with fear and worry.

 

[tigerlilly]

Tigerlily,

I can't tell you how helpful this is. I really needed to hear someone with similar symptoms made it to the other side. I'm so glad to hear you are out living life! I started work again this week and, as I have a physical job, I was worried I would lose the progress I had made in the last few weeks. While I have had slightly more pain, I realized it actually began to escalate the night BEFORE work. And guess what...less popping this week in my SI joint! Here's to hopefully being on the right track!

That's great news, lolaskip! I'm happy to hear that you were able to have less popping now that you are "onto" your brain's sneaky tricks!! Not that it will stop trying to fool you, mind you. It might even offer up more pain, in a desperate attempt to pull you back into the fear vortex and to keep you distracted from making progress. But - have no fear - just be mindful of it, and don't give in to it, no matter what. I remember crying my eyes out in desperation - the pain was so bad that I couldn't even lift my head off the pillow without crying in pain. And the progress that I made was so painfully slow. But as I continued to give the pain "the finger!" and to continue to strengthen my resolve to know that there was nothing physically wrong with me (and never has been!), it eventually started to let up........ever so slowly.

So I guess the key thing I'm trying to say here, is, to be patient. My husband also has TMS and his symptoms went away the first week that I told him about what I was learning (and he listened to Sarno's audio book on Healing Back Pain). I was so happy for him, nad yet so disheartened that he was getting better so quickly, and yet I continued to lay helpless in bed. In pain. But - some of us are more stubborn to accept and believe. We all have different issues. So........just explore yourself. Journaling was such a great tool for me. I procrastinated in doing it - and that alone should have told me something. The mind didn't want to go there! But I did it anyways, and it really helped me to learn about myself and to really allow myself to FEEL, and not just acknowledge feelings/emotions in a logical way. Also, reading Steve Ozanich's book was a godsend. Reading Dr. Sarno was great in understanding what was wrong with me. But Steve's book really gave me the tools that I needed in order to heal. I sat there with a highlighter and underlined the book as I read it - all of the key points that I related to (the book is really marked up!!) Lots of great tools in there for you.

Wishing you continued success - feel free to write if you have any questions!

 

[tigerlilly]

I am on Day 1 and I just joined this forum. I read tigerlillys first post from Feb 2014 and that was ME in the fall of 2013, and sadly it is me again RIGHT NOW. Imagine my surprise when I read on and saw that she had healed herself.

The most useful thing I've read here is that PAIN=FEAR because my pain coincided with falling in love, which sounds so perverse as I write it. But it's true. I'd lived my whole life mostly running from intimate partnership and then I met someone who was just not going to let me go easily! And I've felt terrified, ensnared, trapped and cornered, but also elated, ecstatic, serene and content. It's all a part of life and LOVE but I've been protecting myself from it for so long out of fear of ending up like my mother, trapped in a toxic marriage and living for her children.

I realize I'm going on a psychotherapy tangent here but for me, the mention of FEAR got my attention because Sarno is always talking about rage and anger and while I have those, my mind has been totally dominated with fear and worry.

Hi catherinet -

I'm sorry you are also experiencing this kind of physical pain, and yet you are already ahead of the game because you are recognizing where it is coming from. Kudos to you! I, also, had a hard time relating to the word "rage." I'm not an angry person by nature. But I had to remind myself that this "rage" is coming from an unconscious place. It's an emotion that I wasn't even aware that existed within myself. I just had to accept that at face value, and move forward in working on the emotions that might be contributing to that unbenownst rage, namely, for me - FEAR. Steve Ozanich's book talks about fear in detail - I think you'll find it immensely helpful if you haven't read it already.

Congratulations on falling love. Don't sabotage it. Hold onto it. We all deserve to be loved.

tigerlilly