Feel in a genuine quandary tonight. Been trying really hard to find some time for myself this last week to address TMS honestly (Iknew i had it last 2 months but..) and following programme. There are issues from the past to deal with but it's been brought on at this time by recent onslaught of events - work, bereavement, needy elderly relative. Previously before a nasty relapse I was off work and supposed to be recuperating but still doing a load of running around for other people. Anyway today was the first day I could have physically managed to visit my increasingly frail mother in law but I decided not to as I am due to take her to hospital appointment tomorrow. Then she goes out shopping (against all family's advice and we get her food deliveries) and is mugged for her card at the ATM! She doesn't report theft for over an hour and several thousand gone!! I feel guilty as she was obviously lonely and I didn't go round and she was easy pickings. My dilemma is this, in the end I took 2 codeine so I could do some stuff while my husband went to try sort the bank out and it was easy!!! I was floating. I realised I could just take the max daily pills and basically go back to being everyone's doer (and man is there a lot to do!!! MIL needs to be moved, I have a job to return to, a 7 year old son, Xmas round corner and a memorial service to organise). I actually can't afford this time now to cry and journal and post. I had stopped taking all the stupid NSAIDS a week ago and only ever took 1 codeine at a nighttime. But I have to get off my arse and get going now. The only conceivable way to be as mobile as I need to be is by risking a codeine addiction. Maybe I don't actually have a choice at this moment.