I've gone through a traumatic event from my childhood in connection with SEP day 5. The situation was that I had been living with my father for 5 years after my parents' divorce. My father became severely alcoholic within short time after the divorce which took place when I was 9 years old. And he was very unstable and what you may call border line psychotic - untreated... No one helped me much during these years of turmoil and instability - and after 5 years when I was 14 I had to confront him to say that I wouldn't live with him anymore, I would move to my mother's and I then contacted the social services (yes, I did that myself), who forced my removal from my father to ensure that he wouldn't pick me up again (as he usually did after kicking me out when he was drunk) During journaling I felt a shiver down my spine and back and later the word "shame" came to me. I'm deeply ashamed of what happened during these 5 years - that no one cared for me, helped me, you could say loved me enough to secure me. This shame feels like intense loneliness. As lonely as one can get. Would any one of you know this feeling in connection with childhood neglect? I'm not sure how to go with this feeling - of course I feel it, let it flow and so on, but it feels basically different from other feelings. Like a big black hole inside me - I know this hole from previous therapy, but I have never known just exactly what it was. Now I'm aware that it's shame of not being worthy of care - it's the absence of care. I would love to hear from others knowing about this!