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Setback - Tight Neck is back >:(

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Freedom, Mar 10, 2017.

  1. Freedom

    Freedom Peer Supporter

    So I've been working on my 'TMS recovery' since last summer. I feel like since the new year I have done much better. I stopped going to PT. I stopped taking medications. I've been doing daily meditation and gratitude which has enriched my life. My attacks were less frequent and the pains I had, while I had them daily were not attacks or anything particularly debilitating.

    One of the things that I have not bought into whether it's actually TMS or not is when I get muscle tightness/knots in my neck and upper back. I remember reading about things like (misintereted inflammation) or (misinterpretted nerve pain) etc, but one area that I thought may have been caused by actions was when I would get tightness in my neck when I wake up.

    Today I ended up taking a half (5mg) of one of my muscle relaxers to try to help (it may have a little but it is still hurting quite a bit and I have much less range of motion).

    What's New/My emotional frustrations?
    I'm not sure that there is particularly anything brand new in terms of whats going on with me emotionally, it's really the same stuff (Associated pressures from my Parents on the following:
    1. Relationships - Parents wanting me to get married combined with my own limiting beliefs and inhibitions when it comes to meeting girls which usually bother me on a nearly daily basis (afraid to start conversations even if it appears they are interested, or making a move, or even looking at them at all)
    • As a sidenote on this one, this morning I did think to myself ('you really don't have much time to get this under control you need to just man up and do it because you're parents are expecting you to get married in the next year or so, not to mention you will be too old to enjoy yourself before you can find someone compatible')
    • (I'm turning 31 next month)
    • This makes me feel helpless, regretful, and angry at the people who 'hypnotised'/influenced me into having these limiting beliefs
    2. Career - Doing interviews but feel like I am a weak prospect and that grad school is not preparing me for a lot of the new technologies/programming languages companies are using
    (combined with my parents expecting me to be done soon have a good job and move next to them in the city they live in)

    Those are the major recurring themes. Other than that sometimes minor things like someone backing up in traffic nearly hitting me yelling at me to back up when I could not because there were a number of cars behind me.

    What do I do?
    I still can't help but wonder a lot of times if the way I'm sleeping or my pillow is causing the terrible stiffness and pain in my neck. My questions are:
    a) How can I truly determine this. And if this is also TMS, how can I stop believing this is a "special case" thats physical even though the others (probably) aren't?
    b) What do you do in these situations? I know not making a big deal helped with other parts of my body (lower back, legs, etc). But it seems like the more days I have the pain the harder it is to buy into that

    Layering Of Emotions/Afraid of the pain again
    In addition to whatever is going on emotionally and physically, I am now ANGRY that I even have the pain, very frustrated!! Ironic how the emotions are now getting layered. I'm angry about having the emotions (anger, fear, frustration) that are causing the pain. ARGHHHH. What's worse is i'm now AFRAID again of this happening with my neck because it interrupts my day significantly and I feel like I can't properly get work done or go out and have fun. If I knew for sure this would go away tomorrow I wouldn't really care. I'm now afraid again to sleep as I think it will cause the pain.
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2017
  2. Ellen

    Ellen Beloved Grand Eagle

    I have fallen into this trap in the past, as well. However, if you think about it logically, why would you have pain now when you've been sleeping with the same pillow in the same bed? Also, our body would not stay in an uncomfortable position that causes pain, even while sleeping--we would just move.

    I think you are on the right track thinking psychologically about your pain. Just accept that it is TMS and try to get on with life. I know that is easier said than done when you are in pain. Try to find some soothing activities to calm your anger and reactivity. Be good to yourself.
    Freedom and eskimoeskimo like this.

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