I am feeling stunned that my brain "got me!" However, I have had a couple of busy weeks, with added stress, and I knew I needed to do more tms work.. I was falling further behind and knew it. Two weeks ago I found out from my mom's sister that my mom has breast cancer. She should be fine, but still. That stirred up alot because my parents and I are estranged. Then my cousin-in-law's grandma died unexpectedly; I loved her grandma. She was the first grandchild and very close to her. This mirrored my relationship with my grandma, who died 4 yrs ago. We also had some good news though. Our daughter's boyfriend asked our blessing to ask her to marry him. We really like him and are happy about it. Still, weddings are stressful! Anyway, I was having difficulty with a drawer yesterday when rage flared and I pulled it out, kicked it and its contents everywhere! Then I "made myself stop" sat on the floor and calmed down. My husband started picking up, and I said something about finally blowing etc. When I stood up my back was "out"!!!!! I knew I needed to be thinking psychological, but I wasn't doing it. So, I feel betrayed, but like a neglected spouse, my brain had warned me to pay more attention. I don't know what I am asking for, just support and concern I guess. Thank you all!