set back after set back

Just when I think finally I am ahead of the game of TMS.. I will be hit very badly ..
Many of you who have healed .. have you taken a sport as hobby while healing ? how did you deal with the severe pain ?

I started playing badminton and gained some reflexes which I lost long ago.. but when I try to do these with no fear of movement I get so much back pain and whatever 40% recovery I made so far is taking a hit.

I know my situation is TMS.. but I couldn't help myself to heal.. every path I take is meeting a dead end..
I am currently working with Georgie & there are some wonderful people giving me support in this forum yet when the pain is at a level of 10.. am getting discouraged.as am not able to sit,stand or sleep in one position...

only couple of days ago I was having good prolonged pain free period...am not sure if the learned nerve path ways are being triggered while trying to play fearlessly

Am not sure if I have to stop badminton and start going on my own pace rather than attacking the pain ?? as am told we cant force the result and we will heal only when the time is right provided we look deep into ourselves.. what are the thumb rules for healing ? one I Know is belief.. which I realized only recently .. its not the superficial belief like affirmation.. but the real one .

 

Are you taking any meds? Also, did you jump into your activity or built it up slowly?

 

I dont take any meds..

I have built up slowly but the other day I thought ok lets kick this fear and see if the pain is not as severe as I think . and so I jumped into the activity that specific day to test myself.... by running backwards for the shuttlecock, sometimes jumping instinctively, and reached out for the shuttle cock ..

 

From experience, I know that it takes time to unlearn that activity causes pain. Therefore, it is best to start slowly. Also, testing myself did not work.I used to test myself by driving longer distance, but I would get bad pain and get frustrated.

Then one day my wife and I were driving long distance when it started raining, and she complained about poor visibility. I took over the wheels, and drove 2 hours home. At that point I was so focused on road safety that I forgot about the pain. That was the turning point for me. So please hang in there. Take small steps and don't think much about testing yourself.

Instead of trying to get rid of the pain, change your relationship with it. Acknowledge it and let it pass, while being good to yourself.

 

hmm you are right.. that magic moment has to happen on its own.. may be testing is not good.. as when the pain comes back I loose a number of days and motivation too..

I will go at my own pace..

 

You are putting way to much pressure on yourself, relax a little. Remember, this is the cause of years of conditioning. The very fear / anxiety that you are experiencing now, is more than likely the reason you have TMS. There are no rules of healing, we are all different.

Take a step back, try not to understand, analyse it, carry on challenging the pain, take meds if needs be. But remember to have fun too, the more pressure you put on yourself and worry, the more you will fuel the pain cycle.

 

so true mike.. only couple of days ago I felt the best.. when I feel finally I am ahead or in correct path.. I am pushing myself to test the pain..

I have to step back a little .. and take it easy..

 

You do, we all have set backs. It won't be the first or last. Get used to these obstacles and keep reminding yourself in a loving and compassionate way, that they are only temporary and you will overcome them and heal.

 

yes..

 

What does Georgie Oldfield has to say about your "setback"? Since badminton is causing you to go "10" on the pain scale try another activity to support your MINDBODY health. Walking is less strenuous then badminton which is competitive and it may be the competitive aspect that may be spiking your TMS pain. Walking is non-competitive unless you're race-walking and it's pace will allow you to think TMS'ly about what Rahe-Holmes stress creating life situations are causing your TMS. If you have a swimming pool available, that's my favorite aerobic activity to maintain my MINDBODY health balance. I run in the pool an average of thirty minutes daily. I used to run marathons when I took a decade away from my tennis and I now feel pool running with the aid of a flotation belt is the best over-all physical activity. Compared to land running, you have resistance on the entire body created by the water. It's like doing light weights by the entire body, well maybe not the ears. You don't need a lot of space in the pool if all the lanes are occupied. I use a waterproof FM radio or an MP3 which makes the time fly by and I usually want to run longer if my schedule allows. Listening to music fulfills one of SteveO's recommendations to enjoy listening to music everyday, lowering the TMS reservoir of rage and feeding TMS'ers compulsion to multi-task, creating a positive distraction.

 

she asked me to go back to the game so that I don't reinforce the idea that I fear playing that game.
Once this pain eases in few days I will try to out to catch up with frnds and may be movies..
I first have to make a mind body connection before I stress my body.
I dont have any pool near by.. Have to go a long way..

 

Maybe a holiday will do you some good

 

cant think of doing that with this varying pain..
although i wish to

 

Hi Indi, I'm sorry to hear of your setback.

I remember when I thought I had healed completely and then suffered a bout of setbacks I felt so much distress and frustration. I recall in my early days of running I would get a setback just at the time I felt I was gaining fitness and feeling great. What I hadn't realised at the time was that rather than relaxing into my workout and enjoying the energy of each step, each breath etc, I was thinking ahead, and pushing myself, thus creating more pressure in my body and nervous system.

I too felt despair that my running had been abruptly interrupted by this relapse, but what helped me recover was firstly acknowledging the strain I was putting my body under, and accepting that it needed to relax and settle again. I listened to Emmett Miller "Easing into sleep" each night while stretching, and spoke to the pain in a caring and compassionate way. I did other activities, like walking while my body settled, and pain eased. This soothing routine dissolved my pain relatively quickly, but you must not rush it, not push recovery...

The worst aspect of a setback is the initial shock, and the panic it sends through our bodies.

Claire Weekes in her book: 'Hope and help for your nerves' offers this advice:

" When I review the difficulties of recovery, I would say that the most alarming of them all is the way panic can flash so intensely, so quickly and unexpectedly - weeks, months, even years - after a person thinks he has completely recovered. This unexpected return of panic causes more concern; it shocks, it frightens, and it reminds of so much one would rather forget. And the fear that is immediately added, together with the physical disturbance caused by the flash of panic, desensitises slightly and brings back symptoms, so that the unwary sufferer is often bluffed into thinking "it" has returned.

Almost invariably he makes the old mistake of capitulating before the feeling and trying to run away from it. Never do this, never let it shock you into running away from it. Halt. Go slowly. Understand that some strain, some tension may have slightly sensitised you once more; or that memory, stirred by something, may have flashed the old feeling again. Any one of us at times feels sensitised by strain - "on edge", apprehensive. Understand that the strain has stirred the embers (of your TMS) and if you can accept the panic without withdrawing from it, then you will recover. Accept any setback, however long it may last, and let time pass.

The contrast between hope and peace experienced in a good period and the renewed suffering felt in a setback highlights the setback and makes it seem more unendurable than ever. It is this contrast that make the early setbacks seem so especially severe and brings such disappointment and despair that the sufferer may decide that the struggle to climb up the ladder to recovery again is beyond him. You should understand the tricks memory can play and understand setback so well that you are not discouraged by it, however long it may last or whenever it may come..

Once you understand setback, have adjusted your attitude to it, you have unmasked the bogy of "nerves" and they can never completely frighten you again. There will always be that inner core of confidence and strength to help you pass through fear. And because this confidence has been born the hard way, from your own experience, you will never quite lost it. As you lose your fear and regain confidence, you will lose interest in your symptoms. You begin to forget yourself (symptoms) for moments and then hours at a time.

You recover then by facing, accepting, floating (relaxing) and letting time pass. Do not watch the calendar and time for recovery. Let time pass, as little or as much as necessary.

Accept, float and let time pass. This approach will never fail you if you apply it consistently."

 

Thanks Colly for taking time to put this. this is indeed correct
I needed this .. I had only 2 hrs of sleep ..
before this setback I thought finally I got good grip of TMS game and had put pressure on my body.. I was sleeping 7 hrs prior to this.
I will be on meds and take it easy ..till it gets better..