Hey yall, i've been away for a while mostly because i was feeling better than normal, but here i am, back in a flare. I blame the last few months of sick/dying pets, car issues, fears about my job, etc. with my problem tolerating stress lately. Stress sucks for everybody but something has been happening recently. If something is stressing me out, i start to feel this tightness and shakiness inside that feels like rage and i just want to start yelling and freaking out. The issue itself might not even be that bad but itt's like my tolerance for stress went wayyy down. An example, my cat is old had having some medical/behavior issues as a result. The other day i yelled at her, something like "useless piece of crap, things will be easier when you die". I LOVE this cat, she's been like a therapy animal to me. I think i'm just fearing the inevitable downward spiral and feeling so hopeless. My dog just died, and i found myself displaying anger towards her because i was stuck all alone being a nurse to a big disabled dog. I hate feeling this rotten inside. I know "feeling" emotions is supposed to be a good thing, but i dont think this is quite what's happening. It's been a helpless time for me the last few months and i'm growing to resent everything and everybody. Oddly enough, my pain has been spiking up, but also very low for stretches of time during all this.