I am feeling very vulnerable surrendering to the diagnosis of TMS. I've decided to post all my writing from the SEP in this forum. Some of it may be beyond what the question to ponder is. It may or may not make sense to anyone else. For me, the posting of it, not hiding it, is the point. When was the last time you exercised or did another physical activity? What was this activity? How did it make you feel physically and emotionally? If it has been a while since you last exercised, why? I last played tennis 9 days ago. I felt strong physically and happy emotionally. Some sadness and disappointment about being in the lower rank of the 55 team. Certainly some pressure to perform when I play with “the big girls.” Mostly love the opportunity to move, be out in the sunshine, laugh and connect with a great group of women. And there is some performance anxiety. I last hiked in Italy a year ago. Began having bilateral butt pain, a few days before I left, on a training hike, about 8 miles. The pain became a pretty big issue in Italy. Actually started while on the choir trip, sometimes almost immediately on walking, sometimes after a mile or so. Intense pain. I loved hiking in the mountains. I love being in the mountains, as I have for so many years. And the pain stole much of the joy. When I tried to walk at home, the butt pain was the same: intense, sharp, after a mile or so, with that distance decreasing. I chose to not address the pain because I could still play tennis so I pretended it was okay not to be able to hike at home. That became less and less true until a month ago I got an MRI and had a cortisone injection in my spine for the herniated disc that was diagnosed. 10 days after the injection, I had excruciating pain in my left butt and groin and thigh when I first got out of bed. I had read Sarno’s book the night of the cortisone injection and was beginning to use the work each day. Then all of a sudden this huge escalation of pain. I was quite terrified. Talked with a couple of friends who’ve had great success with Sarno’s work and was able to drop in to trusting the process. Neither tennis not hiking is an option because of the intense pain. I trust they will be again. So here I am, telling my brain I’m willing to feel whatever feelings show up. Asking Spirit to help ease my fear around it all. The model resonates with me big time, after a couple of years of resisting it around other kinds of pain.