Self talk

Can you guys give me some examples of positive self talk (regarding pain) that has been effective for you? Thanks so much in advance!

 

Hi Aqua, and welcome!

I am a HUGE believer and practicer (is that a word???)(practitioner?) of what I call, instead, "constructive" self-talk.

The problem with the phrase "positive self-talk" (aka "positive affirmations") is that it can be interpreted as "put a smile on your face and think happy thoughts in spite of whatever is happening to you" which sounds lovely - but in my experience it doesn't work at all. I call that "fake happy talk".

What has really worked for me, and what I advise to anyone who is interested, is to first listen to, and really hear, the negative self-talk that your subconscious brain is constantly throwing at you. When you are having a symptom, for example, your brain immediately goes into negative mode: "Uh oh, there's the pain, I wonder if it's going to get worse, what if it does get worse, what if I can't walk/work/drive/get up/whatever, I think it's worse than before, should I take medication, should I go to the doctor and have it checked out again" etc etc etc!

This is the important first step. Because the second step is to counter all that negative talk with true statements that are constructively positive. But you really cannot counter the negative talk unless you have heard it and recognized it for what it is.

The best place to start for appropriate affirmations is Dr. Sarno's 12 Daily Reminders. One or more of them will effectively counter whatever your particular negative messages are. Many of our members know them by heart and perhaps someone will post them here, but you can also search on that term and you'll find them all over this forum. Or in whatever Dr. Sarno book you have read (you have read at least one of them, I hope!).

My own affirmation process has become pretty simple over time and it is this: "First, take a deep breath and relax all of your muscles. Then, remember that there is nothing wrong with you, and that you are perfectly healthy. THIS, whatever it thinks it is, is TMS and it is NOT necessary!"

Good luck, Aqua!

 

Thank you so much. I've already created my list of constructive self talk.