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Day 9 Self Criticism

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by wannarun, May 25, 2015.

  1. wannarun

    wannarun Peer Supporter

    Have you been overly critical of yourself lately? How and why have you done this? You can find a review on recognizing destructive behaviors, such as self-criticism, here. If you feel comfortable sharing, then post your response in a thread in our Structured Program forum. We would love to hear from you.
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    Umm, yeah. I do this a lot. With everything. I'm not athletic enough, I don't make enough money, I don't volunteer enough, I'm not up on pop culture etc. etc. etc. I'm learning to change my tape. You know the tape that plays in your head. I think though the best outward symbol of how to change this is with running.

    For one I haven't run in almost 2 years. I was afraid it would bring on more pain. I started riding my bike three weeks ago. So far so good so today I went for a two mile run very, very slowly. We'll see what happens tomorrow, but I'm guessing not much because I have TMS not some crazy structural abnormality that no doctor on the planet can find.

    Anyway, my point is I'm trying to change my approach to life the same way I approach my running. Previously, I was super competitive and obsessive. I had to have this pace or that distance in order to feel good about myself. Didn't get the result I want do more. Run Harder, Run Faster. Guzzle protein shakes, Add core routine etc. etc. etc. When it left my life and lived with intense pain I just simply wanted to be outside watching the trees gently sway against the blue sky and feel the warm sun on my skin. I did that today. It reminds me of what is important and that the other things like pace or races or any of that just come. Sure you have to do the work, but if it happens ok, but the true joy is just being outside and spending time with my children.

    I'm going to try and keep these thoughts in the present and not beat myself up about other things that happen in life. I want to live in the present and let tomorrow come on its own.
     
  2. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, wannarun. I never was very athletic, never have made much money, hardly volunteer at all for anything,
    and am totally out of pop culture by choice. I don't beat myself up for any of it. I like me just as I am and
    have lots of friends. We shouldn't judge ourselves by Tarzan, Donald Trump, or Mother Theresa.

    My advice is be yourself and like yourself. Nothing wrong in just watching the trees swap against the blue sky
    and feel the warm sun on your skin. The best vacations I ever had, and the days I ever had, were on
    wilderness canoe trips in the Minnesota-Ontario border lakes country where those were my daily companions,
    along with the wonderful loons and their friendly calls.
     
  3. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi wannarun,
    What a great experience to accept the pleasure of just being out, watching the trees, being with your children. So much of the striving we drive ourselves with (and the self-criticism) is about the past, about being enough for our caretakers. I am so happy that you are seeing through these compulsive behaviors and finding a truer satisfaction. This is pure gold!
    Andy B.

    Well put, Walt!!
     

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