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Day 9 Self Criticism

Satori

New Member
In response to todays assignment...Yes, I am very critical of myself. I have made so many big life mistakes (multiple times) and I feel like my opportunity to turn it around is gone. I never had any guidance on how "to do life", so instead I lived never thinking that I would be "one of those people" that late in life have nothing to show for themselves. Especially when I see my peers...I wonder how did they all get these basic life principles right? When I could not build the basic framework of a life that most people have? I know I have to forgive myself, but its hard to not see and feel daily all my mistakes that (now looking at them) have such big consequences that will never be rectified. I am a very straight forward person with everyone....including myself. I take accountability....I know I am to blame....and I am filled with regret for how my life turned out. I wish I would have known how to do this thing called life.
 
I don't have a perfect answer for you, but I want you to know you are not alone is your feelings. I too often feel the need to be perfect while simultaneously feeling as though everyone else around me has it right and I don't. I think like many things in life it's easier to recognize what you don't have right than what you do. Maybe it would be a good exercise to ponder some of the stuff you have accomplished in this life so far. Peace comes from gratitude towards oneself.
 
Beautiful conversation. Reading this I feel accepting of myself, my particulars. I think reading your entry, Satori it somehow dawns on me how common this feeling is, of not measuring up, and it is almost like a hypnosis. This inner deficiency-identity feels very real from the inside. I think it is fundamental to the human psyche. Yet, it is a belief system. From inside this, we never measure up. From outside this perspective there is just each person living their uniqueness. Are we really "less than" another?
Peace comes from gratitude towards oneself.

I recommend Soul Without Shame by Byron Brown for a deep dive into this familiar inner experience of not being good enough.
 
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