Day 9/ question to ponder: "have you been overly critical of yourself lately?" >> yes, I have. I have been looking at my legs and thought they were fat and I have cellulite and I don't like this. I have always had a complex regarding the shape and size of my thighs (though I have a normal weight for my height). This is something I have been dragging along ever since I was a little girl who couldn't fit in the 70's tight jeans around the thighs that were trendy back then. I dieted but spent the biggest amount of my adult life not dieting and maintaining a very good weight and the men I was with kept saying how great my body was. Still, I hated my thighs. Then at age 39, cellulite was becoming more and more of a problem so I engaged into extensive outdoor swimming and I became a long distance swimmer, my body totally transformed itself, I lost 2 sizes, I was sooo happy with this new body. My legs looked wonderful, they were thin and muscled. I swam for maybe 3 years and then fibromyalgia struck and after a year of intense leg pain I discontinued swimming as everyone around me kept repeating it was the culprit and also I had so many muscle spasms in my thighs that I realised my leg muscles could no longer handle the strain I was putting them through (I would siwm an average of 35 kms a month, more when I was on holidays). Swimming was obsessive, I lived for it, always wanted to break my personal records and went to the pool whether it rained or poured. If, for some reason, I couldn't swim, I felt bad, frustrated and felt the pool was where I belonged, not the place I was at that moment. I would only talk about swimming, bla bla. Why am I being so self-critical? >> I don't know. I mean I know it has to do with low self esteem. I started swimming when being a successful teacher was not enough and my attempt at having my novel published failed. Is this an answer to the what? I don't know. Opinions are very welcome.