Had to write an unsent letter today and I addressed a close family member describing my feelings about feeling inadequate, not good enough, a failure in his eyes et cetera and I really focused on where I felt these emotions in my body. I visualised the situation with him as feeling like I was trying to scramble up a steep gravelly hill and continually slipping backwards on the sharp stones. So I thought to myself, “OK. So where to go with this?”. For the first time I actually acknowledged my anger and resentment, didn’t feel frustrated about it and thought “It’s OK I have these feelings, yes it’s OK and I don’t have to solve it.” Just doing that made such a difference to how I actually felt, the struggling feeling just eased off – and I suddenly realised that a major obstacle in our relationship has been ME trying to change HIS behaviour towards ME so that I would feel better. What I realise now is that the issue is really my lack of compassion for myself, I see myself as so unworthy and inadequate compared to him,and to hide that I had been blaming him. So much boils down to lack of self love, doesn’t it? I also found some very good self compassion meditations by Dr Kristin Neff at www.self-compassion.org/category/exercises They are fairly short and really good. Also a marvellous video by Louise’s Hay on YouTube called How to Love Yourself – 10 Steps to Loving Yourself.