I am hoping people can provide suggestions for "practical" things one can do for self care and love. This is an area I see I struggle with. By practical I mean both long term and in the moment. For example, at work, in pain, unable to get anything done but not many options such as music or massage. I am also wondering if people have suggestions and links to some guided relevant meditations or apps. I find also certain relaxing music good- but not waterfalls and birds and stuff that sounds like Kenny G. More like repetitive sounds - like the tambor if anyone has heard of that instrument. As for long term, or things outside work, I really have trouble making time for nice things for myself that would distract me from the pain / obsession / sadness / fear. I'm pretty lost on this front so any all all advice and suggestions appreciated. As for physical treatments - self massage, massage, curling up with the heating pad, taking pain meds when I need them - I do those but with the knowledge not to expect a cure from that. It is very frustrating to sit with a heating pad, relax, have things feel great and then cramp up so badly, so I think if I approach it from a "look, enjoy this moment, but be ok with it emotionally if the pain comes right back after" that is ok. I think allowing relief in the moment and also plowing through are both helpful. Fortunately, I like walking and exercising. Sitting, standing, doing things where mind my is not entirely absorbed is hard. Depending on what I am working on at my job, I can distract myself enough to tolerate/reduce/not be miserable about that pain. But the other say 50% is pretty rough. And then I get furious and stressed that I am getting behind on work and things I actually want and enjoy doing. Accomplishing projects (both ones I must do and ones I want) feels good. I am in a "you get out what you put in " place in my mind, and want to be able to actualize it. As for walking and exercising, I do it b.c I feel good during and its good for you, I like trying to get stronger, improve cardio, and moving helps generally - but really moving, not just a walk around the block. There isnt a treadmill in my office... But as with the heating pad, I've got to be ok with pain coming after the exercise - there is no connection with the exercise - just my brain. I know the exercise does not cause the pain. I had a great time on the elliptical machine the other day and then the usual intense muscle tightness and pain was awful right after. I don't have a fear of exercise - my brain will create the pain and tightness regardless of the activity. Ie: at work, commuting, getting to sleep etc. Sorry, this was a bit of a ramble. Thanks!