Day 15 Second week down...

Had some more wins this week. Before coming down with an (unrelated) illness I was at the gym and some bench presses which is something I haven't done in yonks. Hurt a little, but nothing lingering and afterwards it felt great just to know that I could do it.
I started reading Alan Gordon's book the past couple days and something must have finally clicked for me, because my biggest win was experiencing the usual pain in my wrist and then observing it move around and eventually turn into a tingling sensation in my fingers before completely dissipating. It came back like a minute later, but this is exactly what I was talking about in a post last week as the evidence I needed to fully believe that I have TMS! My girlfriend was in the room at the time and I wanted to tell her all about it but couldn't find a way to not sound like a lunatic haha. I've tried to explain the concept of TMS to her and how I think my issue is psychological not physical. She's supportive enough and as per my request has stopped asking me all the time how my pain is.
I'm curious how others deal with explaining the concept of TMS to others, because let's be honest it's a far out idea to most people. I wouldn't have brought it up, but I had to try telling my parents about it when they directly asked how my wrist is going and they probably think I'm losing the plot.

 

Go Crab!

 

also I don’t discuss it much with people. I did with two friends a few months ago, because I dropped off the earth from them for like a year, and they showed genuine concern for me, so I felt they warranted the whole story. I don’t think people really get it until they live it. Like sure lots of people have low level TMS/ mild nervous system dysfunction- the mild back or knee pain, mild ibs etc. but until you really have your life derailed and realize the modern medical model is quite the abomination when it comes to chronic pain, I don’t think the average person is going to buy in. At least not here in the west, we worship all the things that create our conditions, so it’s hard for people to acknowledge that their lived reality has totally led them astray.

However when I am fully recovered, which i feel is inevitable at this point, I will be openly discussing it more.

 

It depends on the person. I tell some people I have long covid (because most of my symptoms came after I had covid); I tell others I’ve had a nervous breakdown (which TMS is)—but yes, people think you’re crazy. But if you were on your 5th surgery, they’d think that’s too bad, but acceptable. In the end, I think one of the biggest required challenges to overcome with TMS is to finally just not care what anyone thinks. I’m not there yet, by far. But I’ve made some headway. It’s your body. Plain and simple. You can diagnose it if you want. Treat yourself for whatever you want. It’s not against the law. People can hate it if they want. But they don’t have to watch. Later, when you’re better, they’ll be more interested.

 

I'm not saying this as a suggestion necessarily, but I asked my girlfriend if she would be willing to watch the Pain Brain documentary with me and that actually helped a lot with getting both of us on the same page about a lot of things. After that she stopped treating me as if I was unwell/with concern, and that alone started a big shift in my recovery.

 

I actually like that suggestion! I didn't know about that movie but knew there were other TMS related docos out there and I had the same thought, that maybe if we watched together it would really help my partner to understand things. I can see how being treated like there is something wrong with you, being asked all the time if you're in pain etc would be a negative.