JacketSpud
Peer Supporter
I did the SEP previously and was somewhat successful. After a nasty relapse, 6 months later, I'm just starting my second go through.
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Day 1 Second time around
- Thread starter JacketSpud
- Start date
Hi JacketSpud,
I'm still working through my journey and I'm not sure how you're approaching the programme second time round. But from the various exercises I have done, I try not to revist the same stressor and traumas when working through the process again. I think this can almost strengthen the hold negative emotions have over us.
I find it more beneficial to focus on the now and identify those limiting beliefs and replace those with wonderful positive thoughts. Repeatedly and with conviction.
Good luck on your journey.
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JacketSpud
Peer Supporter
Thanks you. I agree, I will not be revisiting previously journaled stesses, except in the case that I don't feel I dealt with it completely last time around.
Over the course of my first time through I realized my mom is a narcissist and I tried to deal with that by journaling etc, but I'm not sure all the journaling in the world can help with that. 6 months ago I had just moved to a new city, giving me plenty of fodder for discussion. Now I'm trying to decide on where to move next, and it's an incredibly stressful decision, one I'm struggling with a great deal. Again, I think this, along with my mother, could be a reason I'm struggling so much.
Over the course of my first time through I realized my mom is a narcissist and I tried to deal with that by journaling etc, but I'm not sure all the journaling in the world can help with that. 6 months ago I had just moved to a new city, giving me plenty of fodder for discussion. Now I'm trying to decide on where to move next, and it's an incredibly stressful decision, one I'm struggling with a great deal. Again, I think this, along with my mother, could be a reason I'm struggling so much.
I think no amount of journaling will help in that case, however you could practice loving kindness meditation and be at peace with self and with her. Happiness, love and forgiving another, regardless of another person's shortfalls makes us stronger and more compassionate beings.
It's also scientifically proven that a happy person has a strong and healthy immune system. Of which you are in control of both.
I'm also veering towards this model of behaviour. We cannot change others but we can change ourself and the way we interact with others.
JacketSpud
Peer Supporter
I see what you are saying but it's not that easy to forgive someone you continues to abuse you and would emotionally abuse your own children too, if given even the hint of an opportunity. Forgiveness basically enables a person to continue the way they are and never take accountability. Now, this person never will anyway, but I'll be darned if I am going to just accept what she did and leave myself and my child wide open to more of the same. And setting boundaries doesn't work! She has no respect for boundaries. At all! She just makes out like she is a victim and continues to do whatever she wants.
No amount of journaling will change her, and I don't expect it to, but it might help me deal with my anger.
I'm sorry, that sounds awful and I didn't mean to upset you with my post. I had no idea of your circumstances.
I sometimes think, it's not possible to forgive the person for their behaviour but it would be of great benefit to love and forgive yourself and assure your inner child you are safe from harm. And if there's nothing left to salvage from this fractured relationship, sometimes time and space does help ease the pain.
JacketSpud
Peer Supporter
My apologies, I realize how sharp my response was. Clearly, I have some real problems with all this. Sorry, and thank you.
mncjl123
Peer Supporter
I am 54 and have been dealing with a controlling, alcoholic narcissistic mother my entire life. on this mothers day it is hard to be thankful and grateful for a mother as such. so, I totally understand. I have been working through this for a very long time, and no we cant control them. we have to set our boundaries. and it is hard. wish I had some advice, but I am in the same boat. just know I understand. by the way, I am planning on going my second time through SEP as soon as I finish this first go around.
JacketSpud
Peer Supporter
Thank you for your support and understanding. feeing controlled by another person, especially once you're an adult with your own life, is incredibly debilitating at times. I'm sorry you know how this feels too!