Day 2 Second Day in and I'm Scared!

I've completed day 2 of the program and I enjoyed reading the educational article which seemed to alleviate the last doubts I had about TMS. As a blood transfusion scientist myself, I can understand why a reduction in blood flow to an area of the body can lead to pain and this has helped me to accept TMS as a 'real' condition.

Reflecting back over my life's events and cross-linking this to when my pain first started I was indeed going through a particularly stressful time. That being said, I've had other bad times in my life prior to my pain starting and those previous events didn't lead to pain. I guess then, the most obvious question is why did the previous stressful events not lead to pain? I remember the pain first starting when I had horrendous spasms in my left leg and foot in the middle of the night. That night, every time I thought the spasms had subsided they quickly returned and I was awake all night in agony. The following day(s) are when the chronic pain started in my ankle (I described my symptoms in more details in my 'Day 1' post). Ever since then (13 years ago) I've had pain in my leg/ankle/foot/knee/lower back.

I'm scared because one of Day 2's activities is to note down three favourite activities and to state a date by which I intend to undertake the activity again. Given that I haven't left the house or driven my car for over 3 months this is a scary thought. I want to do the day 2 exercise but whatever I note down I want to be able to commit to it. Stating that I will go out for dinner in a restaurant on a particular date feels like a step too far for me at this point in time. I have therefore decided to choose activities that I like to do that don't involve driving. The first will be going for a short local walk, the second will be looking through my family photo albums and the third will be doing some cross-stitch. I don't know if there are others out there who have struggled to commit to a date to do a 'proper' activity like I am struggling but I want to be realistic about what I feel I can commit to and achieve, otherwise I will feel like I've let myself down and 'failed'.

 

You're taking things slow and there's nothing wrong with that. Just keep moving forward at your own pace. Stay committed and you'll get to recovery in your own time.