Day 11 Second Attempt

[cuddlepants]

This is my second attempt of the Structual Education Programme. I've had some positive breakthroughs's but still struggling to fully believe (my over thinking personality doesn't help with this!)
Over the last 30 years I have suffered many conditions which I now believe to be TMS related.
1.Shin splints as a teenager
2.Various outbreaks of eczema
3.Extreme blinking of eyes during stressful times.
4.Two years of undiagnosed prostrate pain
5.Three years of unexplained plantar fasciitis
6.Eighteen months of carpal tunnel symptoms.
7.Increased heart rate/ panic attacks

I have dealt with theses condtions/symptoms without too big an impact on my life until the most recent(carpal tunnel symtoms) which has became a constant worry and burden to my well being. It can occupy my mind 24 hours a day at times with me fearing and stressing about it at all times.
My mind body connection has me believing my work in a factory is causing my symptoms. This has been a constant issue for 12 months or longer.
Then last week I believed I was about to be offered a new job and my arm symptoms cleared up almost 90 percent immediately! And my plantar fasciitis suddenly returned!
Then today I found out that someone else has the job and suddenly my arms flared up worse than ever!
I know this all points to the TMS diagnosis and should fill me with hope but I still find myself trying to physically justify why they were better and then worse again.
I am believing TMS but can't get rid of that little piece of doubt.

 

[hopeful_guitarist]

Sounds like your subconscious is a persistent little guy! Recently I've found it somewhat helpful to have an out-loud debate with my subconscious (or inner child or whatever). I was driving around one morning 2 weeks ago and my sciatic pain was awful and I just really opened up and started yelling at it. At first, this was embarrassing for me even though no one else was there, but it started to work. "Hey, I really appreciate your efforts to protect me from something you consider too painful for me to experience, but I'm confident I can take it. Let go, will you?!" and so on, going into specifics of things it might have been distracting me from. As I continued for a few minutes, the pain seemed to subside a little. It was definitely a lot better later in the day. Not sure if it will work for you, but maybe worth a try.

 

[hopeful_guitarist]

I was looking at some of the top posts in the forum and noticed #2 completely disagrees with the approach I recommend - thought I'd pass it along: http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/this-changed-everything-for-me-if-you-are-in-pain-pls-read.10731/#post-56202 (This changed everything for me. If you are in pain, pls read

 

[cuddlepants]

Thanks for the reply, it's really appreciated.
I have actually been talking out loud to my subconscious mind each morning for the last 2 weeks.
Very similar to what you suggest - I say I appreciate what it's trying to do but that I'm ok and ready to accept the emotions they're protecting me from.
I am feeling reduction of symptoms at the time although no real long lasting affect.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, cuddlepants. I looks like job stress and disappointment in someone else getting the position you hoped for are causing your symptoms. Job stress causes a lot of people to have symptoms like yours. If you can't quit and find a job you are more happy in, try to live with it, but spend nights and weekends doing things you like. And stay positive about being healed. Try to jump your TMS belief up into 100 percent.

 

[Jonjon]

I am also beginning my second attempt at the program, after five months away travelling. I have quite a similar overthinking personality (seemingly like you), and even though I believe that I believe in the origins of my strains, I do find it hard to not be feared about it. Let's keep positive and rational in thinking!

 

[cuddlepants]

My overthinking is definitely a cause of my problems and makes it really hard to believe the TMS diagnosis fully although I fit so many of the personality traits and it explains so many of my symptoms.
I have found the program very good so far but I must admit my personality makes me become obsessive about it which is a bit of a catch 22. I felt an increase in symptoms at the start of the week when fully engrossed with the program so actually had a couple of days away from the program but have tried to practice some of what I've learned including living in the present a bit more.
I've had a great couple of days, although my pain has been similar, I've not been as obsessed about it and I'm feeling extremely positive about it now.
@Jonjon - Keep believing but dont become obssessd with recovery, I think when we stop fearing the pain, we can find our own path to recovery without forcing it.