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Scared

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by GUY, Dec 19, 2019.

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  1. GUY

    GUY New Member

    Hello everybody and thank you for being out there!
    I have had a ton of symptoms over the past years and still have a few remaining.
    To give you an idea:
    back pain
    buzzing hands
    buzzing feet
    buzzing teeth
    hand stiffness
    foot stiffness
    feeling of fingers and toes being swollen when no visible swelling is there
    pain on balls of feet
    heel pain
    hip pain
    arm pain
    elbow pain
    finger pain
    toe pain
    muscle twitching
    achilles tendon pain
    anxiety
    peeling feet and hands(identified as eczema)
    nail dystrophy pain and itching(pitting, bumps,splitting etc).again identified as eczema.



    I have been to a few Rheumatologists,dermatologists,orthopedists,psychiatrists.
    All have been ruled out and have done excessive multiple testing.(mris,xrays,blood work)
    One band for lyme disease came back positive but only one.According to the cdc I am healthy.
    I have read here of people with a "chronic lyme" diagnosis overcame their symptoms with TMS work.

    I have been to a TMS specialist that confirmed TMS.

    My fear is that of some illnesses like psoriatic arthritis that does not have a definitive test.
    I have nail pitting that is a characteristic of this illness but also is a characteristic of eczema.
    I cannot bring myself to truly believe and feel the diagnosis of eczema.
    I was a normal guy that was extremely active but now I am depressed ,constantly crying and overwhelmed by enormous fear.It has been 2 years since the big break out of all this and still can't get the fear under control.Symptoms have been going on for about 4-5 years but 2 years ago was the big breakdown I experienced.
    Currently a lot of my symptoms have diminished or are of less intensity.But some remain.
    Problem is that I cannot get over the fear of psoriatic arthritis.
    I have the feeling of impending doom.That all this is the beginning of a terrible illness etc.
    I can't get my self to move forward.
    Any help....ANY is greatly appreciated .


    Thanks for being there!
     
  2. jimmylaw9

    jimmylaw9 Peer Supporter

    Prob had all the above come n go. Only left with low back pain hopefully go soon. Just had to recognise how stressful n time consuming my life was. I didn’t though for a long time hence the build up of symptoms. Peeled everything back started saying no to everything possible relaxes a lot listened to music meditation n was really kind to myself. Very difficult as it felt lazy. But it does work. That n continually reading books in TMS n success stories. Still got one more hurdle to go. You’ll get there too
     
    Sofa likes this.
  3. miffybunny

    miffybunny Beloved Grand Eagle

    You definitely have TMS. Your brain is always trying to bring you down so it latched on to 'Psoriatic arthritis". I had extremely bizarre symptoms and even tested for 3 bands of Lyme. Don't go down those rabbit holes and stop going to doctors and going on the internet. What you are doing is self sabotage. Have you tried any anti depressants? It sounds like you need TMS therapy as well as possibly some help to get your mood up and anxiety lowered.
     
    Sofa likes this.
  4. GUY

    GUY New Member

    Thanks for your replies!!!
    It is a very weird thing I am going through emotionally.It's like a rollercoaster .One minute feeling strong and empowered and then frightened and vulnerable and crying.Its like I am possessed.
    It is as .. when I am calm I know I am fine but then this little voice keeps whispering to me that everything is going to be awful and dreadful.Even though I have some symptoms they are not nearly as bad as they were when all this started.I can do anything I want workout ,work ,travel etc.The problem is the fear and the anxiety/depression that comes with it.
    I tried antidepressants for about a year(6 months after this started) they helped the first months when things were really bad but most of the improvement came when I stopped them.I really would like to win this on my own so I know in my heart it is a permanent win.That being said if I can't take it anymore I ll go on them again.
    Will start TMS therapy as well after the holidays.Done therapy but not TMS specific.Read books on health anxiety and have tried my best to lift the fear and worrying which brings on the depression but it's just this huge fear lurking and poking me non stop all day long.I ve always had health anxiety but this is an extreme reaction that I had to all this ...and its not letting off even after all the reassurance from the doctors.
    Once again thanks and if anyone has any more advice please feel free...!!
     
    Sofa likes this.
  5. nowa

    nowa Peer Supporter

    I am feeling much the same as you and I found and copied this yesterday:


    "STOP. Stop whatever you’re doing right at this moment (other than reading this reply), and as soon as you reach the period at the end of this sentence, take a deep breath.

    Did you do it? Good. Now do it again, but this time I want you to think about the nose hairs in your nostrils as you breathe in. Weird, I know, but just do it. Now.

    Did you do that? If not, go back and take a breath and only stop taking a breath when you are able to think about your nose hairs and only your nose hairs (no other thoughts!) as they wiggle with the air going in and out of your nose. It’s harder than it sounds, so keep trying. Take a minute or two and see how many times you can do it.

    Good.

    Now that you’ve got it mastered, do it every single time you have a thought that scares you. That’s right – Every. Single. Time.

    “Are all of my negative thoughts and worry turning this into colon cancer?!?” STOP. Nose hair time. Take that breath - only thinking about the way your nose hairs feel as the air goes in and out of your nose. If you can’t do it on the first breath, take another. And another one. Do it until you have one successful breath where you only think about your nose hairs and don’t have any other thoughts enter your brain.

    If you start having another thought that scares you – time to breathe again. Do this five thousand times a day if necessary. The goal is to detach yourself from these thoughts. These thoughts do not need to have an effect on how you feel. They are ridiculous, bullying thoughts that do not define you.

    Repeat this process a hundred thousand times until you no longer have an attachment to your thoughts. Thoughts will come and go, but the way we feel is held in our bodies for a long time."

    i haven't managed to do it yet, because I am so panic stricken but I am going to try now...
     
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  6. nowa

    nowa Peer Supporter

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  7. GUY

    GUY New Member

    Hello Nowa and thanks.
    I am trying this non stop and will keep at it!
    The fear has robbed me of my life.
    Time to get it back again!
    I hope you ll be pain/fear free ASAP!!
    Thanks again
     
    Sofa and nowa like this.
  8. Dorado

    Dorado Beloved Grand Eagle

    Very nice mindfulness technique, @nowa!
     
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  9. nowa

    nowa Peer Supporter

    unfortunately I am not doing it! I have tried, but my anxiety about my blocked breathing stops me... (This is a new symptom)
     
  10. nowa

    nowa Peer Supporter

    I hope it's working for you!!
     
  11. GUY

    GUY New Member

    Trying to be relaxed in general.
    I realize I don’t know how to be relaxed.
     
  12. nowa

    nowa Peer Supporter

  13. GUY

    GUY New Member

    Thanks again Nowa.
    Will give it a try.
    My biggest problem is fear at this point.not symptoms.just can’t relax and believe the doctors that checked me and said I am fine.
    I ve always had health anxiety just not to this extent
     
  14. nowa

    nowa Peer Supporter

    That is the same problem as I have got, but there's a possible diagnosis of Parkinson's to worry about too, for me...
     
  15. jimmylaw9

    jimmylaw9 Peer Supporter

    I am no doctor but I was married to one. It’s classic generalised anxiety disorder which in of itself is TMS.

    Lifestyle changes, changing thought patterns, being good to yourself, resting and proceeding with day to day activities. Most importantly learning to say no to many things and buy yourself time to recover properly.

    That’s a start right there. Also just truly believe although you have these symptoms there is nothing structurally wrong with you and you will recover
     
  16. GUY

    GUY New Member

    Thanks for the replies!
    Nowa I hope you get the clear.
    Jimmylaw9 am trying my best to do what you said but feel disconnected with everything and everybody.Its like I am just going through the motions of life.Even things I cherish like my daily seems miles away because I am consumed with fear constantly thinking about horrible outcomes.
    will keep at it!hopefuly soon I ll see the light!!
     
  17. nowa

    nowa Peer Supporter

    thanks Guy. I am feeling so depressed at the moment because of the anxiety..
     
  18. GUY

    GUY New Member

    Hang in there Nowa.it will pass and you will feel better!
     
  19. nowa

    nowa Peer Supporter

    i wish it would hurry up!
     
  20. Sofa

    Sofa Well known member

    Good thread! The nose hair technique I will try! Being conscious of the negative thought as it occurs is tricky in my experience but I think you are on to something here... Nice
     

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