1. Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
    Dismiss Notice

Safe Ways to Vent

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Balsa11, Apr 19, 2021.

  1. Balsa11

    Balsa11 Well known member

    In case of unexpected crying, panic etc. during important or productive moments, do you do if you need to vent but don't want to cause long term compassion fatigue on others or pain to yourself?

    Writing makes me ruminate more and you can't vent to a therapist every single time you feel bad. Meds artificially suppressed my emotions and I couldn't tolerate them after a few days. Don't want to go through that again. Some people on here like to rage or breaking things, for me, rage is a learned thing and I don't need it much.

    I just don't want to stay down but when my worst, existential fears get triggered, addressing them and running away from them doesn't make it less difficult. I still end up feeling down if not crying, scared, helpless etc.

    Anything to help it get out without being stuck in a bad headspace for minutes to hours (acute feels) would be appreciated! Want to speed up recovery and focus on the new instead of fighting the old.
  2. TrustIt

    TrustIt Well known member

    Balsa11: i just posted the following in reply to someone asking much the same question on another thread. maybe this helps you as well?

    there is something that happens when you finally "get it", meaning when the knowledge becomes understanding. i now "understand" fully that the emotions i express...regardless of the trigger...create certain stressful chemicals. as soon as a symptom shows itself, i can now immediately dismiss the previous automatic emotion (frustration/anger/powerlessness/victimization/self-pity), knowing that it's been there repeatedly and necessary for me to get to this very deep understanding. first i think, "it's ok, this is temporary and will pass", and i self soothe instead of berate and curse my body. it's one thing to recognize that some "exterior" stimulus/trigger can affect you, and a deeper and personally profound one to recognize your "internal" reaction to your own thought triggers. it's a very subtle shift from outside to inside, but most profound insights usually are subtle and simple i think....in hindsight. yours may not resolve in a single experience...it may take many, depending on the depth of your attachment to the outcome. recognize when you are "trying" to do something about the "problem" and change your perception of it, even if just momentarily, to one of gratitude for the lesson the "problem" is "trying" to teach you. exchange roles and allow the pain to be your teacher b/c your ego mind will tenaciously hold it's fearful position. hope this helps!
    Balsa11 likes this.
  3. Balsa11

    Balsa11 Well known member

    Hmm this shift happens automatically most of the time, since I feel ok most of the time. I was looking at what to do mid-cry.
    TrustIt likes this.
  4. Andy Bayliss

    Andy Bayliss TMS Coach & Beloved Grand Eagle

    I teach clients to use "empathic statements" to be with themselves during feeling moments. This might be helpful for you.

    You talk to yourself, second person, and you attune to the feeling state and speak to you, in this state. Importantly, there is a second part to this, which attuning to what this is like for you.

    You're feeling sad, and this is really hard for you.
    You're feeling sad, and you're not sure what to do about this right now.
    You get the drift.

    This practice takes practice, but can be done any place, any time, silently or out loud. What it does is allows the feeling/experience, without amping it up, nor discounting it. It allows flow. Often, the feeling will shift when we're with it fully. And this is a great way to be with it fully.

    I think this practice addresses many of Trustit's sensibilities here, which are important in my experience.

    TrustIt likes this.

Share This Page