I reeeeeeally feel like I have been making progress.. I know I have TMS with every cell in my body. No problem there.. I have done so much work with re-directing my thoughts.... Showing NO FEAR! Not counting the days. I have been working on releasing anger, forgiving myself and others, positive affirmations, visualizations, etc. Putting attention into how I react to TMS vs. the severity of the symptom. Last night was awesome. Really good sleep No pain or anxiety. I had so much peace woke up this morning, feeling almost euphoric. Like ME. The way that I should FEEL ALLLL THE TIME! I could feel the light in me, and see the light in others. (If that makes any sense)... Great drive into work, felt soooo connected and whole to everything. Just felt pure unconditional love. Then BAAAAAAAM! The anxiety kicked in after I started working. No, not due to thoughts running through my head that were "what if" or "fear based"... But just the overwhelming feeeeling of anxiety, pulsating through my body to my core. Like I feel sometimes for no reason whatsoever. Not logical. Just a feeling I get and I recognize what it is.. And just have to say... This ISN'T ME feeling this feeling... This is just TMS. When I would have to work with a patient (for my job).. The anxiety would disappear, then go into my calf muscle. An old trigger point that I thought I got from jogging years ago that acts up. (But yeah.. I know for a fact it's TMS and always was). It went away when I realized it. But just all of the sudden came back to that area. I was trying to figure out what my anxiety was wanting me to know. What my subconscious was trying to tell me I needed to deal with. I didn't feel anger or fear at alllll. What I felt was SADNESS. I cried floods and floods of tears. For all sorts of different reasons. For this crazy situation I am in right now... For just wanting to be better. For trying to figure out what I need to do. Also..... For some things in the past. Just that emotion. I feel like I'm Neo from The Matrix who took the RED PILL! I've been sucked into some type of rabbit hole and I see the reality of how our mind body's really are and am just trying to get a grasp on all of it. It's a lot to take in. No one is really as lucky as we are.. I hope you guys realize this. Lots of people go through this stuff and just accept that pain and sickness are due to things beyond their control. I'm just waiting to finally be Neo at the end of the movie where he realizes his true power!!! But shit. I just broke down today and had a pity party for myself. It felt good to get it out. I even got angry as well and broke a glass in my kitchen. I'm not afraid of TMS and I'm just overwhelmed by all of this. Because it is crazy stuff... but it's TRUE. So my question is... What are all ya'lls viewpoints on Sadness in this? Do you think this was just emotion that I was holding in that needed to be released? I don't feel sorry for myself all of the time. I just felt like I wanted to be a baby for a minute and throw a tantrum about it all. It's frustrating to go through this. It's hard to be positive and happy and keep your emotions and check all of the time. What do you guys think about sadness and TMS? As well as releasing emotions about the entire process that we have to go through?