Sad

I think I need support from my Cweeky community, even though only a few people show up there now. This month has been very difficult. It feels like all my attempts to improve only make things worse. The pain has been very intense and widespread, especially in my left arm. The other symptoms take a back seat, honestly—they’re uncomfortable, but they’re not permanent and don’t cause as much pain. It literally feels like nerve pain inside, especially in my elbow, running down my arm and into my fingers. I’m exhausted and always wonder if I’m doing it right. Sometimes I remind myself that what matters is the overall trend. Maybe that’s it. If I’m doing well most of the time and don’t interpret my pain as threatening, my brain will understand this pattern, this connection will weaken, and it will start to let go.
Then I think I need to relax my nervous system overall, and I just wonder how I’m supposed to do that when it’s screaming in my ear. I try to stay calm and respond well to my symptoms in general, but it’s a moment-to-moment struggle. There have only been a few days when the pain was a little lighter, but the rest of the time… I wish there were people around who have overcome things like this. I don’t think there are anymore—they don’t visit the forum, I don’t know. Sometimes I wonder if the intensity of the pain has a big influence on whether people improve, or if it’s still possible, but you just need trust and, in some way, try to endure, try to relax despite the pain.
I try to do what I can at home, but I feel pressured by the ideas of not being able to do what I want, since it’s in my arms. And I tell myself, no, I’ll do what I can. I don’t want to pressure myself. Honestly, you never truly live calmly—it's just that when you have two kids, it’s hard not to want to get involved or do something for them. On the few good days I’ve had, I’ve been able to do more things; the other days disappoint me a little, and honestly, I suffer a lot. I’ve made a lot of progress emotionally. I went from doing almost nothing to doing everything, but I always have to give myself a little push to get started, especially on days when the pain is worse. Sometimes I simply don’t feel like doing it—not out of fear of making things worse, but just because I’m suffering.
I want to know if any of you have experienced strong, stabbing, continuous pain and, despite that, improved, endured, tried to dispel doubts, tried not to fall into negative thoughts, and avoided getting emotionally involved with the symptom—trying in some way to feel it without fear, but at the same time not letting it take over.

 

I have written a response to you before asking what you are doing to work on your nervous system. You never responded to me particularly, but from what I can gather, are extremely opposed to doing anything that involved emotional work.

Continuing to write posts regarding your symptoms or how bad your symptoms are is enforcing these symptoms. By focusing on your symptoms on each of these posts, you are confirming to your brain that you are in danger and then your brain doubles down on your symptoms making more, or even increasing them. You have to stop talking about them. You also have to stop trying to find someone with your exact same symptoms. You will not find someone with your exact same symptoms. You may find some that are similar but even if you did, and you tried to copy the way they healed, it may not work for you. Each one of us is different and unique with our own set of triggers, trauma, and just way of life. This is a journey for all of us and it going to require trial and error as we try different programs to heal.

At this point, you do need to find a program that you think may help you. And then you try to stay consistent with it. You don't need to put pressure on yourself to do anything more. From your post, I can hear you putting yourself pressure that you haven't had a reduction in symptoms. Or found someone with with your exact symptoms. That line of thinking has to stop. Instead it is time to focus on the work, (whatever program you end up choosing) and stop talking about your symptoms. This will stop that negative loop that is going on in your brain right now. But it will take time. All of this takes time. Good luck on your healing journey.

 

Hola, he terminado el programa de Alan Gordon. De hecho, lo hice un poco rápido. Entiendo todo lo que dijiste sobre por qué persiste el dolor y que mi sistema nervioso está en modo de lucha o huida, o algo así. También lo he leído en otras publicaciones.
No sé cómo voy a lograr calmar mi sistema nervioso y hacer que deje de enviar señales, sobre todo cuando siento que me gritan al oído; son muy fuertes. Quizás tengas razón y debería haber dedicado más tiempo al programa, porque la verdad es que siento que las cosas han empeorado. No lo sé, pero es muy difícil seguir adelante en este estado. Solo puedo caminar y estoy agotada, agotada emocionalmente.
Solo quería saber si realmente no hace falta ser perfecto para recuperarse. Pregunto esto porque hay días como hoy en que el síntoma es extremadamente fuerte, y lo único que deseo es un poco de ánimo. El mío es constante y me agota mentalmente.
Claro, por fuera todo puede parecer tranquilo, pero llega un momento en que simplemente no puedo más. No tomo medicamentos porque no me funcionan. Lo que de verdad me gustaría es que alguien que haya pasado por un dolor tan intenso como el que yo siento me dijera que no hace falta ser perfecto para que esto funcione, que es solo cuestión de tiempo, o algo así.
Es difícil seguir los consejos de los demás cuando dicen que cuanto menos te importe, mejor, o que no deberías prestarle atención. Intento hacerlo —intento no prestarle atención en el sentido de que intento redirigir mi atención a otra parte—, pero estoy sufriendo mucho.
Solo quiero tener esperanza. Solo quiero que alguien me diga: «Sí, esto es temporal. Es solo cuestión de tiempo antes de que el cerebro desaparezcan los síntomas». No sé… Nunca he tenido éxito con la EMT. La descubrí cuando ya estaba sumida en este gran problema.

 

It's very hard when your symptoms are so painful and you honestly can't think of anything else. I've definitely been there!! I'm just a person on my own healing journey, but if I was dealing with the painful symptoms and I had completed the Alan Gordon program I would be looking for another one to jump into. There are a ton of programs out there and not all created equal. In my own healing journey, I did the SEP and after that was completed I went to Chatgpt and had me set up a program tailored to my symptoms. It gave me questions to answer and things to think about. After that, I felt like I had done all my emotional work. Now it was time to change the way my inner voice was narrating my life. I'm still working on that. I was/am very critical of myself so this has been a work in progress. But I've come a long ways. The other thing I added into my life was something fun. In the beginning, it was just watching a funny tv show or movie. But I've branched out now to exercise, hobbies, etc. Is there something you could add to your life to look forward to? You don't have to answer that here-just think of what you would enjoy. And lastly, don't pressure yourself. Healing will take as long as it needs to. I hate how sometimes we hear about a "book cure" and then we expect it ourselves. But that is not common-what is more common is working slowly each day.

 

I also feel like you dont actually listen to anything thats said so it feels like a bunch of people screaming into the void.

What can you do to deal with pain better? Can you take a bath?

 

If I were you and I genuinely wanted assistance from this forum (which it seems that you do), then I would do the program offered on here (the Structural Education Program). It has an emotional component to it so you might not want to, but if you do it will open up a lot more assistance from experts here (both those who did the program themselves as well as those who created it/moderate it) and you'll get better support.

I want to help you further but like @Joulegirl alluded too you seem very stubborn to certain ideas and very certain of how TMS works (yet you seem to be frustrated at your lack of progress), but unless you open yourself up to the other side of the work (Dr David Clarke, who is the head of the main association on TMS - The Association for the Treatment of Neuroplastic Symptoms (ATNS) works on emotions, Dr Howard Schubiner, arguably the leader in the field today does also, as did the person who founded the concept itself in Dr John Sarno - they wouldn't if the emotional work was irrelevant) then my hands are tied and from comments above it seems as if there are others who want to help but don't know how as a result.