Day 1 Run out of solutions. Time to go off as needed masking crutches

[jamiemakena]

As most of you I have tried everything to heal my "tendonistis" and muscle tightness in my neck "hitting my nerves". I feel so disabled that I am not able to hold a full-time job for more than two years or be there for my family and myself. When I am most anxious, stressed, or tired I am at my worse. It gets harder to function as the day goes by and my husband and family are tired of me complaining. I am slowly going off my as needed pain and anxiety medication to start looking at the root of the problem since the masking of the problem does not hide anything. I believe that will make me feel more vulnerable. Has anyone experienced that feeling?

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Jamiemakena. Have you talked to your doctor about going off the pain and anxiety medication? It's not a good idea to do it cold turkey. He or she may suggest a gradual reduction. It may we wise to remain on them, until you get farther along in the SEProgram. You want to be brave, but also you want to be smart. Years ago I was on anti anxiety medication, Librium, for three years until I got my stressful life under better control. I was able to work and pretty much enjoy life while on the Librium and it never harmed me.

What ever emotional problems you discover are going to help you to heal and become a healthier and happier person. They will not make you feel more vulnerable. And don't forget... Dr. Sarno says we don't need to solve any emotional problem. We just have discover them and then move on.

Try not to complain about your pain around your husband and family. It isn't easy, but I find it helpful to laugh through any pain or anxiety or worry.
Laughing is really a wonderful way to relax and raise our spirits.

Welcome to this TMS healing club. Keep posting about your progress and ask any questions.

 

[jamiemakena]

Yes, my therapist and doctor are on board. I will gradually go off pain and anxiety meds. I will take them less frequently and see how it goes for now. I am happy I do not need to solve anything because it is the past and I basically want to see it briefly feel it and leave it there. Even today as I have been working on day 1 when I start to feel pain I say why? Is it because I need to use the bathroom and am not letting myself take a break (many simliar past experiences) or do I need to walk away from family conversation that I don't want to be a part of (and forced myself to in the past). So I got up and took a break acknowledging my anger for making myself stay there. Does it sound like I am on the right track?

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Hi Jamie, and welcome to the forum and the SEP!

If you have read any of Dr. Sarno's books, you have probably already recognized yourself as a goodist and/or a perfectionist. (If you have not read any of his books, you should definitely read at least one BEFORE starting the SEP - my favorite is his last one, The Divided Mind).

Anyway, one of the things we see here is people trying to do this work "the right way". That's because we are all perfectionists, and perfectionism is one of the things that got us in this situation to begin with, which means it's one of our life habits that we need to let go of when it hinders our health. And doing the SEP is a good place to start, because if there is one thing I have learned in the last four years it's that there is no such thing as doing it the right way. I would say there are a few basic rules that will help you out, but other than that, you have to trust your own instincts to do what makes sense for you.

Here are the things I think will help you while doing the SEP:
- Be brutally honest when you're doing your writing exercises. Don't let your brain tell you to ignore anything even if it seems unimportant or embarrassing or hurtful
- Don't try to do it all at once, and don't even do it every day if you need or want a day off.
- Keep reading other people's posts on the forum, participate in other discussions, and read at least one Success Story every day
- Learn to recognize the negative messages in your brain and replace them with positive constructive ones
- Open your mind to other ways to do this work - there are so many I can't even list them, and you will find things that resonate for YOU.
- Recognize that everyone is different, and the ways that TMS manifests is different for everyone.
- Finally, every single day, give yourself lots of credit and love yourself for being here at all, and KNOW that you deserve to heal.

Good luck, and keep posting!

~Jan

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Even today as I have been working on day 1 when I start to feel pain I say why? Is it because I need to use the bathroom and am not letting myself take a break (many simliar past experiences) or do I need to walk away from family conversation that I don't want to be a part of (and forced myself to in the past). So I got up and took a break acknowledging my anger for making myself stay there. Does it sound like I am on the right track?

Hi jamiemakena,

Your examples seem very right on. Both of those pieces will activate TMS, just as you surmise, in my experience. Your assertion of what feels right for your own organism in any situation is a very good path to orient to. Feeling frustration, tension, conflicts, putting yourself second are all good indicators that your habitual way of relating to the inner and outer world is not satisfying down deep.

To add a point to this, you're example shows you are thinking psychological even though you may not exactly nail down the trigger. It is using your inquiry like this that is the heart of the technique. As you do this more, your intuition will expose the connections with more ease, but again though, you shouldn't get stuck on "being sure" you found the "exact" connection between inner tension and pain. That can just pressurize you, make you get caught trying to fix your condition. A light touch, take some action, as you did, is very good.

In addition I will say that if you cannot make a change in your situation, for whatever reason, you can still link the symptom to the true cause, which is psychological tension. You don't need to always relieve the situation, is what Dr. Sarno said, just make the connections and contemplate a probable real cause, which includes how your Inner Child might feel in the situation.

Andy B

 

[jamiemakena]

Hi jamiemakena,

Your examples seem very right on. Both of those pieces will activate TMS, just as you surmise, in my experience. Your assertion of what feels right for your own organism in any situation is a very good path to orient to. Feeling frustration, tension, conflicts, putting yourself second are all good indicators that your habitual way of relating to the inner and outer world is not satisfying down deep.

To add a point to this, you're example shows you are thinking psychological even though you may not exactly nail down the trigger. It is using your inquiry like this that is the heart of the technique. As you do this more, your intuition will expose the connections with more ease, but again though, you shouldn't get stuck on "being sure" you found the "exact" connection between inner tension and pain. That can just pressurize you, make you get caught trying to fix your condition. A light touch, take some action, as you did, is very good.

In addition I will say that if you cannot make a change in your situation, for whatever reason, you can still link the symptom to the true cause, which is psychological tension. You don't need to always relieve the situation, is what Dr. Sarno said, just make the connections and contemplate a probable real cause, which includes how your Inner Child might feel in the situation.

Andy B

Hi Andy. I hope I am responding to you properly. I just had a quick question. I was virtually pain-free until I realized I had lost my fit band which I have previously lost multiple times. Immediately I had intense physical symptoms in my neck, stomach, and arm. Do I at this point identify that it triggered thoughts of not being able to find anything and the pain? Do I continue to remain focused on getting some work done or put heat on my neck and rest? I did force myself to find the band, but now I feel horrible physically. If I am correct I should acknowledge the intense pain that I feel and know that it is not real but the frustration for me psychologically and the pain cannot have been from structural damage of my body since all three came at once right away

 

[jamiemakena]

Hi. This is an add on to my last post of losing my fit band and experiencing multiple locations of pain all at once. Should I just continue to do what I was doing prior and ignore the pain completely saying to myself it is not real? I ended up using a heating pad on my neck and resting for about 15 minutes, then I took my dog for a short walk and resumed my day. Pain subsided, but still can feel some that is bearable. Took ibuphrophen as well, although I just read that it is better not to and focus on where the mental pain is coming from. I mentally recalled always getting spankings and in trouble for losing things when I was maybe 3-7 years old often. I then acknowledged It triggers feelings of being scared and stressed and then said well at least I know where it's coming from.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Hi jamiemakena,

I think that your approach to take ibuprophen and using a heat pad is not going to hurt you. It is not a purist approach, but overall, you are reducing meds, thinking psychologically, etc. So why not relieve your pain? Dr. Sarno prescribed analgesics (I guess pain pills), so why not take them when you need them. He suggested you take them for pain, until his approach got "deep enough to make a difference== pain subsided.

Also, ignoring pain, and going about your business is a wonderful skill, and it takes some practice. So give yourself some practice, and patience with this approach. You'll develop more courage to do it over time. The pain won't scare you, or scare you as much. Ignoring it becomes easier. And you do have to practice!

I mentally recalled always getting spankings and in trouble for losing things when I was maybe 3-7 years old often. I then acknowledged It triggers feelings of being scared and stressed and then said well at least I know where it's coming from.

I think this is an interesting insight. I was going to say "Inner Critic attack" was the root of the pain stuff, related to losing the device. I focus a lot on that, though, so it is my "go to" idea. But your experience seems to point to that. How does the Inner Child feel? is the contemplation here then, when under attack by the superego? Rejected, hurt, afraid, angry? This insight gives you a lot of information about the inner dynamics related to symptom occurrence.

It triggers feelings of being scared and stressed

This information can be brought to bear next time you have an intensity in the symptoms. Was there superego (internalized parental messages) activity? What are the attacks? What might the Inner Child be feeling? The more you get to know this dynamic, the more you can see the affects on TMS symptoms, and the more easily you can disengage from the inner dynamics.

at least I know where it's coming from.

Exactly as I mention above. You have very good information.

Should I just continue to do what I was doing prior and ignore the pain completely saying to myself it is not real?

You can combine this with the understanding you found in the psychodynamics.

You are doing great, and each person finds their own way. You are doing it!!!

Andy B.