(RSI) It doesn't want to get better: What am I doing wrong??

[Para]

Heya guys! New here. 25 Years old, male and have TMS that produces RSI pain and I just can't get rid of it.

Hope you understand my English. It's not my native language.

I'm having this for about 7 months or so and for about two months I'm working with the TMS approach. Biggest Problem is my lower arms and elbows and I can barely write (with PC and by hand)

What I did so far (for about two months now):
- Verified there is no structural damage
- Stopped all treatments/medications etc.
- Read the MindBody Prescription
- Doing a lot of research and reading success stories
- Doing a lot of self reflection and trying to find emotions that I repress (without success though, it seems)
- Affirmations many times a day. When I'm alone I do even say them loud and with as much confidence as possible.

Why it must be TMS
- Pain is completely illogical (started in my right wrist and was in my left wrist only one day after)
- Pain travels in my arms (or did so for a long time, now it pretty much manifested in my elbows/wrists)
- I had irritable bowel before and have eczema, sometimes breathing problems, prostatitis, allergies, chronic fatigue etc. Typical TMS stuff...
- I tried 1000 things before and nothing helped (various injections, massages, oils and balms, physio therapy, neural therapy, acupuncture, pain killers, taking off from work, yoga etc.)

My problems are:
- Sarno talks about the perfectionist personality trait that he finds in almost every TMS patient. I'm everything elese than a perfectionist though. I'm the definition of lazy and don't have many ambitions. I'm also very very untidy and am completely incompetent when it comes to managing administrative stuff. I'm a (pretty intelligent though) hoarder and minimalist.
- I do read from those rapid recoveries or at least from people who had relief after they started with the TMS approach. My TMS doesn't get any better at all even though I really really really commit to it. I absolutely believe it is TMS. No, actually I KNOW it is TMS! But I have to be honest I'm starting to doubt.
- My pain always gets worse after physical activities. No matter how often I try it. This strategy really makes me have doubts because everytime I really use my arms it gets much worse.
- I have to write on the computer and use a mouse all day long at work. So I never really "gave up the activities that gave me pain". I just need to take a lot of breaks during the day. This means resuming physical activities is kind of difficult because I never really stopped in the first place. It hurt before and unfortunately even though trying to genuinely think psychological and fully accepting that I have TMS it hurts now too. There's no such thing as resuming because I never really stopped and how can I be confident while I have to be confronted with that pain everyday? What should I do?
- I have so many things that depress me in my life and I really really don't have the impression I'm repressing anything. I'm thinking of my problems and what I don't like about my life very very often. I don't have the impression that I repress... Still I'm trying to think psychological even more than before now and try to search for other causes.

That stuff really confuses me and I'm starting to doubt. It doesn't seem to get better even though I fully commit to it, analyze my thoughts everyday, make affirmations everyday and don't fear physical activities (even though they still hurt).

What are your thoughts?

All the best!

Para

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Para, you're not doing anything wrong. You're doing everything right.
But you are letting time be your enemy. Some heal fast, some take weeks or months.
Just keep positive that the Structured Educational Program will work for you.
You admit you're starting to doubt TMS is causing your symptoms.
You have to work on that, to believe 100 percent in TMS.

You say there are a lot of emotional stresses in your life. They are what is causing your pain.
Journal about them to better understand what they are and give thought to how you can deal with the stresses.

Dr. Sarno says it's okay to get some pain relief from medications, whether doctor prescribed or OTC.

 

[lexylucy]

Hi there. You sound a bit hard on yourself. Sounds like your working hard at your job AND at using the techniques. Your doing the right things
I'm curious about the part of you that "doesn't want to get better" I would have a dialogue with that part. Maybe make a drawing of a character that represents it. My pain started getting better when I started hearing it talk to me and listen to what it's saying.

 

[armchairlinguist]

It sounds like your pain is still doing a great job of distracting you. You are pretty focused on healing and not having pain. Can you focus on what you are already doing - just live your life anyway - but stop paying attention to the pain and wondering about it?

This is where I am with my ankle (I recovered from RSI with TMS techniques about 9 years ago, no recurrences). It still bugs me, but it is because I so easily get caught up in worrying about it. Just admit that right now you know you have TMS but you still have pain. Such is life sometimes. I hate doing this so I know it is harder than it sounds, but it's still good advice.

P.S. You actually sound kind of like a perfectionist to me. You want to be "perfect" at recovery. A lot of perfectionists also have defense mechanisms of procrastination, etc. I could be off base here but you might want to look deeper on that.

 

[Para]

Thanks so much for your great answers y'all!

@Walt Oleksy Actually I thought of time being my enemy aswell. But then again I don't set myself a goal or something. I know it can take weeks or months but it just makes me crazy that I didn't even notice a hint of a healing within the last two months...
You're right. I should probably start journaling. Is there a guide on how to do it in a proper way. I know everyone is different and may benefit from slightly different personal approaches but are there some "journaling tips"?

@lexylucy I'm going to try this! Maybe I should impersonate my subconscious too in order to communicate with it...

@armchairlinguist Not concentrating on my pain is just sooo difficult. I'm working all day. Taking time off would mean I admit structural damage and am scared of the pain - I'm not gonna do that. Keep on working on the other hand hurts and does a great job in reminding me of the pain every minute. How can I not think of it?
That perfectionist thing... Well maybe I am kind of a perfectionist in some things I do. Just not the typical one. Thanks!


Also what do you think of digging in your past and searching for possible emotions/happenings that I might repress? I don't seem to find anything or in other words: There are a few possible things but I have trouble determining which of them really bothers me enough to cause my TMS to produce pain...

 

[lexylucy]

YAY! let me know how it goes

 

[Boston Redsox]

It sounds like your pain is still doing a great job of distracting you. You are pretty focused on healing and not having pain. Can you focus on what you are already doing - just live your life anyway - but stop paying attention to the pain and wondering about it?

This is where I am with my ankle (I recovered from RSI with TMS techniques about 9 years ago, no recurrences). It still bugs me, but it is because I so easily get caught up in worrying about it. Just admit that right now you know you have TMS but you still have pain. Such is life sometimes. I hate doing this so I know it is harder than it sounds, but it's still good advice.

P.S. You actually sound kind of like a perfectionist to me. You want to be "perfect" at recovery. A lot of perfectionists also have defense mechanisms of procrastination, etc. I could be off base here but you might want to look deeper on that.

Excellent Advice

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Hi Para,
Your English is excellent by the way.

Also what do you think of digging in your past and searching for possible emotions/happenings that I might repress? I don't seem to find anything or in other words: There are a few possible things but I have trouble determining which of them really bothers me enough to cause my TMS to produce pain...

I believe that this work of journalling and contemplating is important. You may not need to find the "exact cause" in my experience, so much as you need to open the doors to feeling, and be curious. The more you dig, the more you become aware that for the normal person, there are deep conflicts, super ego demands, tensions and pressures. Our inner life, that seems from the surface to "not be so bad" is war zone down deep. That is just our human condition.

Part of the Sarno cure for most folks is finding evidence that connects the feelings and emotions to their symptoms. Each person finds this connection in their own way. But as you have suggested, this is important because it works to dismiss the physical explanations that keep the TMS going. You begin, in the moment, to associate feelings and inner pressures to the symptoms you are experiencing. At this time you do not see connections. I hope you gently continue to inquire and journal.

Do the SEP program here at the Wiki as a way to systematically get support for this, if you have not already started it.

Andy B.