RSI & Achilles Tendonitis - 1 Week since the start of my journey

[Alberttc]

Hello everyone. My name is Albert and I recently discovered Dr. Sarno's book (Healing the Body, Healing the Pain). First of all, sorry to all proficient English speakers. I am not proficient on this language and may write some mistakes through my posts.

I could recognize myself in a lot of the pages of the book, specially when refering to Perfectionist, People-Pleaser, Legalist traits. Unlike most of the people here, I wouldn't say that I was "desperate" or in chronic pain for a LOT of time. However, after digging into the books, I could relate old pains that I suffered to probable TMS symptoms.

My story is like this:

Childhood:

I have always said that my childhood was in general very good, happy and that most people treated me well. No bullying, few but good friends, good grades (excellent), no trouble at home, being always loved, etc. And I maintain it. It was a very good childhood. No signs of psychologic thrauma or high thraumatic events (other than some illnesses in the family, which resolved succesfully).

I have been meditating and journaling for a week, mostly about my past, and I have reached some conclusions: I pressured myself to get good grades to please the ones surrounding me, competing with friends and other people in my class to see who got the best score on exams. I did this as a part of my people-pleaser (and others) personality and I think it is affecting me now.

High School and University:

As I went through the years I kept with this attitude. I also noticed that in class I would try not to be asked by teachers, trying to hide or stay unnoticed so they didn't ask me to go to the blackboard or answering questions. I guess the fear of failure was very present to me at that age and kept with me through the years. No physical symptoms until I got to the university. There I would get some occasional back pain (upper, in the cervical column) usually related by doctors to my "long neck" and some stress from studies.

Work:

When I started to work, back pain came a bit stronger. Doctors said everything was OK. Little bit of scoliosis but nothing that could explain the pain. Probably stress, they said.

Back pain went away with GYM and exercise. Some months later I went through a Bunionectomy because my foot was in pain. It was a genetic deformity, no TMS related (maybe pain incremented by TMS, but I will never know!) and right now it has been 4 months since the surgery.

After the surgery I was at home playing video games (my main distraction, hobby. I love it !). Time to go back to work came and I was feeling way better with my foot. I was pretty anxious because I didn't know the amount of work I would find when going back. That stressed me. I went back to work but after 2 weeks I developed a tendonitis in the Achilles tendon (in fact it was in the flexor hallucis longus) of the non-operated foot. My surgeon assumed it was due to a bad habit of walking different after the structural change in my operated foot. It made complete sense. I got a pair of well-designed orthotics after a foot analysis (the charge distribution was not OK, I could see it).

However, after all this, 1 month after I was still having my Achilles tendonitis and developed pain in my right wrist while typing (diagnosed tendonitis, MRI was completelly OK). Suddenly after 3 weeks my symptoms mirrored to my left wrist. Pain was moving from wrist to forearm, arm, hand, etc. It made not a lot of sense.

At this point I discovered Dr.Sarno's Book (1 week ago). Read it in 1 day, as well as with many other info. from the forum and success stories. It convinced me (partly) and I have been devouring TMS books and info since then.

My most obvious TMS symptom (left wrist pain) dissapeared right away the next day, only by means of having read the book (amazing! I started believing).

My right wrist pain has been decreasing substantially. I went back to League of Legends gaming after 1 month without playing and it feels better. I still have a bit of pain in the mornings and during the day, but not a lot and I can develop all activities at work and at home without any problem. I guess it is harder to heal because it appeared during a typing marathon and for my rational mind it is being hard to unattach it from that event.

My tendonitis in my non-operated foot is persisting and I still have some after-surgery pain in my operated foot. I am half-way waiting if it subsides or keeps at the same level of pain to evaluate if it is getting a "chronic" state, which would mean that it is related to TMS.

I guess I will have to work harder with my feet in order to recover. I will need more time to evaluate it.

Now:

I wake up in the mornings feeling "anxious" or "nervous" about work or life in general, even if I don't have important appointments during the day. I would appreciate if someone could suggest some readings on a more nerves, anxiety approach to deal with these facts. I think this attitude of mine of people-pleasing and perfectionism is causing it to me. (As well as conflict-avoiding, legalist,...) I would love to take it easier, but I need some help with that, as I don't know how to do it.

I am really happy because I discovered this forum and all kind of TMS related stuff which is helping me understand what has been going on in my life, but I still need help on how to deal with it to reach a more relaxed, calm and positive approach to life.

Thanks a lot to all!

 

[mister_burger]

Hi Albert,

I also suffered from some terrible Achilles tendonitis. Mine lasted almost a year and I still get some flare-up some days. Similarly I read "Healing Back Pain" and watched some youtube videos about Dr Sarno and Dr Schubiner. These along starting the Structured Educational Program on this TMS wiki website really helped me on my journey to healing. I wish I had discovered Dr Sarno's work earlier. I would have needed it a decade ago!
But who knows? Maybe I would have rejected his ideas back in the day.

I wake up in the mornings feeling "anxious" or "nervous" about work or life in general, even if I don't have important appointments during the day. I would appreciate if someone could suggest some readings on a more nerves, anxiety approach to deal with these facts.

Dr Claire Weekes has written some good books about anxiety. You can find some of her tapes/interviews on youtube.
Dr Schubiner wrote "Unlearn your anxiety and depression".

But you're also recovering from a surgery. So I think it's normal to not be able to tackle the issue the way Dr Sarno suggests in his book. Especially if you can't move freely for the moment.

 

[Alberttc]

Hi mister_burger,

Thanks for your answer.

Dr Claire Weekes has written some good books about anxiety. You can find some of her tapes/interviews on youtube.
Dr Schubiner wrote "Unlearn your anxiety and depression".

But you're also recovering from a surgery. So I think it's normal to not be able to tackle the issue the way Dr Sarno suggests in his book. Especially if you can't move freely for the moment.

I will definetely check both Claire Weekes and Schubiner content, as I feel that the anxiety is the source of my problems. I hope that both tackling the TMS pain approach and anxiety management will boost my morale to push towards a "better" daily life.

I can move freely, but with some limitations. My foot is recovered with some residual pain and will hurt if I walk too much (I have walked distances such as 2km without increasing pain). The same with the "tendonitis" on the other foot. I won't apply the sentence "my body is OK, it is my mind doing this" because I can not be totally certain about it only after 4 months from surgery, but I will be checking if "inconsistencies" such as moving pain or mirroring appear. (To add some information, my surgeon checked my foot and told me that it was perfectly healing and that I could start running after 3 months from the surgery. I haven't done that because of the pain, ) I have suspicion that my brain can be tricking me using my post-surgery pain and not letting it go.

I will try to come back here in few days or weeks to update about my status. I'm optimistic, though!

 

[Alberttc]

Hello all,

I am back for an update:

I don't feel any more pain in the wrists. From time to time I feel a little pain but not very significant, just while driving on my grandad's old car with a hard steering wheel. I have carried long videogaming sessions these weeks. I am using an ergonomic mouse at work and at home when I am doing standard stuff, however I switch to my gaming mouse when I have to play. I do it only for ergonomics and to change posture, because I want to be healthier and not because of the pain. (I worked several days only on the non-ergonomic mouse to prove myself that I felt no pain and that I was OK)

Pain on my non-operated foot decreased a lot. I don't feel it usually. However, I haven't gone for long walks. I still have to keep it testing. I don't think about it in a constant basis, only when I walk for long distances.

I keep improving!

When it comes to anxiety and nerves, I am a bit more calm now. This has helped a lot: http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/how-to-stop-anxiety-and-worry.8286/ (HOW TO STOP ANXIETY AND WORRY) . I like the breathing+focusing on parts of the body technique and the one of imagining that you are in a relaxing place with all senses active. I think that I have to keep working on my feelings and on how to accept when I am anxious. All that stuff of watching the feelings from a non-judgemental approach.

I feel better overall. My girlfriend gifted me a book on Mindfulness, so I will keep working on it through the book, I guess.

Have a nice day !