Rough Patch

[gailnyc]

After a pretty good Saturday--I did a 2:10 hour roundtrip drive to see some friends I hadn't seen in awhile, with no increase in pain--I spent a lot of Sunday reading threads in the TMS help archive, and I noticed a common theme of "you have to accept the pain--once you do that, it will diminish." So today I spent a lot of time trying to "accept" my pain, but I found myself focusing more than usual on my pain! I am feeling very frustrated and near tears today because I just don't understand what it means to "accept" my pain or how I can accomplish it. And if I can't do it then how can I ever fully heal?

Sometimes I really feel like this is two steps forward, one step back for me.

 

[Karen]

After a pretty good Saturday--I did a 2:10 hour roundtrip drive to see some friends I hadn't seen in awhile, with no increase in pain--I spent a lot of Sunday reading threads in the TMS help archive, and I noticed a common theme of "you have to accept the pain--once you do that, it will diminish." So today I spent a lot of time trying to "accept" my pain, but I found myself focusing more than usual on my pain! I am feeling very frustrated and near tears today because I just don't understand what it means to "accept" my pain or how I can accomplish it. And if I can't do it then how can I ever fully heal?

Sometimes I really feel like this is two steps forward, one step back for me.

gallnyc, I can be on the floor with my body throwing me around in spasms and I'm screaming out, ''I am ignoring you Mr. Pain!!

I'm so mad at my brain right now - I want to be the 'sergeant major' of my own head!! I continue to tell my brain that I know what it's doing and I am telling it back that I'm fixing the situations that are causing the pain.

So I keep trying to accept and ignore the pain to the best of my ability and go on with as much normal life as I can. I am now 'giving in ' a little and if the pain gets too bad, I have been taking an aspirin or two, to help me make it through the flare-up.

Best wishes and peace.

 

[gailnyc]

Karen, thank you so much for your response. I guess ignoring and "yelling at my brain" just doesn't work for me. I tried these methods back in December and the pain got much worse--I had a major flare-up that lasted about 8 weeks, during which I could hardly concentrate on anything but the pain. This made me SUCK at my job (I'm a teacher) and I really really don't want that to happen again. In fact I am terrified of having it happen again. I love the feeling of "flow" I get during a good class and that simply cannot happen when I am in so much pain.

In recent weeks I've been able to get back into some social activities and do some walking, so I'm really doing much better these days. Sometimes I get frustrated at how slow going it is but I guess some people just recover more slowly.

 

[Karen]

Karen, thank you so much for your response. I guess ignoring and "yelling at my brain" just doesn't work for me. I tried these methods back in December and the pain got much worse--I had a major flare-up that lasted about 8 weeks, during which I could hardly concentrate on anything but the pain. This made me SUCK at my job (I'm a teacher) and I really really don't want that to happen again. In fact I am terrified of having it happen again. I love the feeling of "flow" I get during a good class and that simply cannot happen when I am in so much pain.

In recent weeks I've been able to get back into some social activities and do some walking, so I'm really doing much better these days. Sometimes I get frustrated at how slow going it is but I guess some people just recover more slowly.

I have also used the very soft, gentle technique of talking to my pain as if it's my friend in a very soft low voice....... That works also..

Might be a better strategy for you. I knew a 'nun' once, who used to talk to her painful knees every night and rub them gently until she actually felt the pain subsiding!!

Best wishes for you!!

 

[CMA]

Gail: i recently saw a therapist and she told me to accept the paintoo when I askes her what that meant she said that for eg you begin to walk and get some pain instead of fighting it out just say yes i have sone pain its ok I will still walk and co tinue trying to make progress.. I did try this for a few days till I was making progress after which I got this sinus/flu thing that has put me out of whack.. Many good wishes to you

 

[Leslie]

Yelling at or ignoring the pain doesn't work for me either Gail. I too found it getting worse when I would take that approach and I think I was triggering childhood issues when I would do that. My mother was a yeller, sometimes from entirely across the house, having no idea what she was even actually yelling about, just that she "heard" something (that was likely young children playing loudly) that triggered her to yell. My father, on the other hand, employs the silent treatment when he is angry - that's pretty much how you know he's angry with you - he basically just looks right through you so convincingly that you do actually believe you are invisible.

What works best for me, and admittedly it is a long, slow process (completely understand the one step forward and many steps back feeling) is being kind to myself when the pain flares. Actually talking to and treating myself nicely (which is REALLY hard for me to do). Consoling myself like I would a young child in pain. Been experiencing a flare up myself for the past couple weeks, although it did take a break over the weekend while I was away. I just don't push myself when it happens, I remind myself that knowing the vacuum has been run or the laundry been done is not going to make the pain stop so it's ok to wait until I feel better. I just do what I feel like doing, and if what I feel like doing is "nothing", that's ok too. I try to "float" through it like Claire Weekes describes with anxiety...yes it's here but that doesn't mean a battle for control must ensue...I just try to peacefully co-exist with it until I can figure out why it's happening.

 

[gailnyc]

What works best for me, and admittedly it is a long, slow process (completely understand the one step forward and many steps back feeling) is being kind to myself when the pain flares. Actually talking to and treating myself nicely (which is REALLY hard for me to do). Consoling myself like I would a young child in pain. Been experiencing a flare up myself for the past couple weeks, although it did take a break over the weekend while I was away. I just don't push myself when it happens, I remind myself that knowing the vacuum has been run or the laundry been done is not going to make the pain stop so it's ok to wait until I feel better. I just do what I feel like doing, and if what I feel like doing is "nothing", that's ok too. I try to "float" through it like Claire Weekes describes with anxiety...yes it's here but that doesn't mean a battle for control must ensue...I just try to peacefully co-exist with it until I can figure out why it's happening.

Yes, this makes total sense to me. "Peacefully co-existing" with the pain, and reminding myself that it's "fake," seems to be working for me. Thank you for explaining this approach!

 

[Forest]

I wonder if part of the reason why this occurs is because when we are in a peaceful co-existence with our symptoms then we are no longer resisting them. Perhaps one of the problems with yelling at your brain to stop creating the symptoms is that it keeps us ramped up and activated. If we can sooth ourselves the emotional stress begins to calm down as well. Just a thought