Ridiculous symptom imperatives

I’ve been having fun with some symptom imperatives!
A few weeks ago I was possibly bitten by mosquitos. Did not feel them bite, and was suddenly very itchy with large red welts larger than a quarter. They were angry looking, turning dark ... so of course I was curious. I noticed putting on some pants (that were not itch the day before) they felt prickly and itched mu legs all over. Got some medicine for itches and of course it didn’t work. By this time itching had spread outside of any obvious bites, and wounds began to open.... For mosquito bites! So I laughed at them calling them every name they were not: are you monkey pox? Shingles? Psoriasis? No! Of course not! You are mosquito bites and this medicine stops the itch. I put on the medicine. No itching.
Later that night they were itching again. So I told myself, nope! I do not have ANY reactions to mosquito bites and they stopped itching immediately and were noticeably healed the next day. Areas that had been open with no bites were fully healed with no sign there had been wounds!
I had been diagnosed with a painful condition to the arches of my feet. Every once and awhile it makes a very short visit -only for moments now after me eye rolling, laughing and saying “you are fine”, them paying attention as to why I may not want to be on my feet for (usually it’s not emotion related other than trying some good old fear tactics, and usually happens when I am not stressed or have other symptoms).

Other symptoms can still get my attention: but with far less fear and more inner inquiry. It’s actually been pretty easy to deduce imperatives and quickly calculate the reality of their “fear factor” whether they are worth a 2nd though or not. It took a long time to get here, but it is possible.

 

I’m working on this now, it is a strange ride.

It feels like all of my symptoms are in panic because I cut caffeine from my diet in order to achieve better sleep / better foundation for relaxation. They are scrambling to be known and sort of tumble around, trying to hook my attention. On the second day of no coffee/no tea, around midday I meditated/half slept on my couch in an upright position, and could feel the various symptoms emerge--first a dull pain in my hands, but nothing like the burning nerves of yesteryear; this was coupled with a new nerve pain sensation, throbbing on my chin (never felt before!) then hypersalivation and some swelling in the palate/mouth. I eventually stirred out of this almost trance-like state and they immediately disappeared, and I experienced my latest system imperative, tinnitus (just started a few days ago, was completely absent during the trance); I went outside and the tinnitus vanished and the floaters popped in and swam around. I almost laughed at the absurd dance of it all.

 

I now fall asleep quicker and sleep better without caffeine, and my light sensitivity has basically vanished. What is interesting is when I wake up. I'm almost completely 'awake' -- not groggy, as has been the norm for 20 years -- and I can feel my symptoms arise and fade with startling rapidity: first I hear the tinnitus tone, quite loud. I take two or three deep breaths and it fades to almost utter silence. Then I feel the pain pulse into my hands -- low, aching sensations -- I breath and observe and recognize it, and it goes away, replaced by an uncomfortable sensation in the gut (an old 'anxiety wave' / panic attack sensation). The hand pain comes back in, fades within seconds. I see a floater in the dark, it fades. The hand pain returns, fades. Etc. Etc. I keep breathing and do some deep work throughout (visualizations, talking to/encouraging former anxiety-ridden aspects of myself). Is my brain playing slots with my body, trying to elicit a reaction? I've been on day 19 in Alan's Program (Extinction Bursts) and it feels... appropriate?

 

Yep, that's the symptom imperative. It moves anywhere in the body.

 

When you can laugh at the BS, you know you're getting it

 

I get this stupid ONE hive that pops up from time to time...usually on my left inner arm. It looks like a mosquito bite but it's not usually itchy.
Just a little histamine leakage. It popped up this morning. I used to try to "figure it out" -- what did I eat yesterday? Is it the molds in the air? (probably, but so what?). After reading this thread, I think I'll just say good morning to the little buggah.