This is my first post. I'd like to start by thanking the therapists who have put together the amazing material and resources, and this forum.
The main reason for posting is that i'd like a review of my progress. I'm able to admit that at this point, i'm obsessed with pain treatment and I want to ensure i'm directing my time and energy in the best way possible.
The pain is sometimes so extreme that I can hardly walk. It's constantly on my mind. It's impacting my relationships with my wife and children. It's stopping me being 'me'.
Since September 2019, I have been suffering from lower back pain, specifically pain in the left buttock and hips, extending down the leg (sciatica). There was no accident or event that started to cause my symptoms. They developed over a short period of time after returning from a family holiday. I was finishing my masters at the time and striving for perfect results while also balancing family and work issues. I am an intensely competitive person. The pain has changed in some ways over the past year - sometimes I can almost feel the nerve being compressed in the lower central back. Other times, it's like a cramping muscle spasm towards the front of my hip. However, it's always on the left side. It's constantly there to some degree when standing/ walking or lying with my legs straight. ** The symptoms are mostly totally gone when sitting. **
History of symptoms:
Prior to this, I have had some back 'issues' from martial arts, weightlifting and water incidents like diving into a sand bank or coming off my surfboard in big swell.
I've also had 'IT Band Friction Syndrome' about 7 years ago that only used to impact me doing distance running (not doing Judo or surfing). I remember being constantly afraid it would come on, especially if I was out hiking in the bush a long way from the car. I believe this was one of my first TMS symptoms.
Just prior to this most recent back problem, I had an excruciatingly painful issue called 'proctalgia' (or similar), which is spasming muscles in your bum. I had never thought this much pain was possible before and at points had me balled in bed crying. These symptoms developed shortly after starting a new job after 8 years at a former employer (the exit wasn't ideal). I visited a specialist and after hearing there was nothing seriously wrong and using some minor treatment, the symptoms went away relatively quickly and permanently. I now believe this was TMS. The back issue I now have may have replaced this condition.
After the current back issue developed, which was quite minor at first, I went to the doctor and have had a number of CT scans, which all show a 'left L5 foraminal encroachment on the exiting left L5 nerve root'. There seemed to be some issues at L5 S1. This nerve compression is cited as the cause of my pain. There are no tumours or any other issues identified. I have no muscle weakness and no loss of sensation.
I have researched and gone through a number of conventional treatments including pain medication, chiropractic sessions and physiotherapy sessions. I have had four steroid injections into the lumbar spine area to reduce inflammation (the first one was amazing and worked for months, one other worked relatively well and two did not have any effect). One of the injections was on New Years Eve - I had my sister visiting at the time and it was very stressful. I could hardly stand to watch the fireworks and the injection had no impact (may have may my symptoms worse).
I was researching everything, such as nerve ablation and decompression machines. I visited a pain medicine specialist who prescribed low dose naltrexone, which had no impact. I was referred to a specialist neurosurgeon at Prince of Wales Hospital in Sydney who recommended spinal surgery, an ALEF procedure, which is a total disc replacement and fusion. This scared me so much and I do feel like my pain was worse after this visit. He referred me for an MRI but I decided that i'm not doing it. I am 36 years old, married with two young children and otherwise in relatively good health.
I remember going to play basketball a few days later and was in a car with my friend Dean and a relatively new guy who was Dean's friend. We were discussing back issues and I told them about my surgery, which at the time I was going to go ahead with. After we had played, Dean later told me that the new guy had said 'what, you're telling me that he needs spinal surgery?' I was running around and during the game wasn't really conscious of pain to a large extent.
My friend sent me the Dr Sarno youtube recording of his book a while ago, which I listened to, however, I guess I wasn't quite ready to accept this TMS thing at that point and continued with the conventional treatments until shortly after the surgical consultation.
After the surgeon, I was desperate. I went out an purchased the Dr Sarno book Healing Back Pain, took a days holiday from work, sat on the beach and read the whole thing, using a marker to highlight all the key points. I have read Steven Ozanich's 'The great pain deception'. I am 'on the journey', no longer on any pain medication or undertaking conventional treatment. I'm keeping active - doing walks with the family, playing some basketball, swimming and occasionally surfing. However, the pain remains a constant feature of my life and is often very severe. It's constantly on my mind. I do feel like it's getting worse and my wife said this to me last night.
I have spent time considering factors from my past which may be generating strong emotions that are repressed, of which there are a number of events that could be an issue. I also write down current thoughts and feelings, such as my relationship with my wife, work pressures and family/ kids. There are some issues here too. I've just gone through Alan Gordon's treatment plan, which I have to say has been really interesting. Slight difference in treatment but the somatic tracking is something i'm going to explore further. Exploring the pain.
I think one of the main issues in my self treatment plan is that, unlike patients in the US, it's not possible to have a physician review scans and make a TMS diagnosis in Australia. The CU Boulder back pain patients that were in the study had Dr Schubiner to review scans as a physician.
In terms of belief, which is a key matter, I have it. The surgical consultation, being in the room with a respected medical specialist who tells you that he's going to go in, remove a disc and replace it with a rubber one and then fuse it all together - that is hard to get out of my mind.
Thank you for reading. Any guidance or feedback would be amazing. I'm very hopeful of working my way through this and having the outcomes that so many others have had before me. With the work i've done so far, I would have expected to have had my pain reduced by now.
Gary
The main reason for posting is that i'd like a review of my progress. I'm able to admit that at this point, i'm obsessed with pain treatment and I want to ensure i'm directing my time and energy in the best way possible.
The pain is sometimes so extreme that I can hardly walk. It's constantly on my mind. It's impacting my relationships with my wife and children. It's stopping me being 'me'.
Since September 2019, I have been suffering from lower back pain, specifically pain in the left buttock and hips, extending down the leg (sciatica). There was no accident or event that started to cause my symptoms. They developed over a short period of time after returning from a family holiday. I was finishing my masters at the time and striving for perfect results while also balancing family and work issues. I am an intensely competitive person. The pain has changed in some ways over the past year - sometimes I can almost feel the nerve being compressed in the lower central back. Other times, it's like a cramping muscle spasm towards the front of my hip. However, it's always on the left side. It's constantly there to some degree when standing/ walking or lying with my legs straight. ** The symptoms are mostly totally gone when sitting. **
History of symptoms:
Prior to this, I have had some back 'issues' from martial arts, weightlifting and water incidents like diving into a sand bank or coming off my surfboard in big swell.
I've also had 'IT Band Friction Syndrome' about 7 years ago that only used to impact me doing distance running (not doing Judo or surfing). I remember being constantly afraid it would come on, especially if I was out hiking in the bush a long way from the car. I believe this was one of my first TMS symptoms.
Just prior to this most recent back problem, I had an excruciatingly painful issue called 'proctalgia' (or similar), which is spasming muscles in your bum. I had never thought this much pain was possible before and at points had me balled in bed crying. These symptoms developed shortly after starting a new job after 8 years at a former employer (the exit wasn't ideal). I visited a specialist and after hearing there was nothing seriously wrong and using some minor treatment, the symptoms went away relatively quickly and permanently. I now believe this was TMS. The back issue I now have may have replaced this condition.
After the current back issue developed, which was quite minor at first, I went to the doctor and have had a number of CT scans, which all show a 'left L5 foraminal encroachment on the exiting left L5 nerve root'. There seemed to be some issues at L5 S1. This nerve compression is cited as the cause of my pain. There are no tumours or any other issues identified. I have no muscle weakness and no loss of sensation.
I have researched and gone through a number of conventional treatments including pain medication, chiropractic sessions and physiotherapy sessions. I have had four steroid injections into the lumbar spine area to reduce inflammation (the first one was amazing and worked for months, one other worked relatively well and two did not have any effect). One of the injections was on New Years Eve - I had my sister visiting at the time and it was very stressful. I could hardly stand to watch the fireworks and the injection had no impact (may have may my symptoms worse).
I was researching everything, such as nerve ablation and decompression machines. I visited a pain medicine specialist who prescribed low dose naltrexone, which had no impact. I was referred to a specialist neurosurgeon at Prince of Wales Hospital in Sydney who recommended spinal surgery, an ALEF procedure, which is a total disc replacement and fusion. This scared me so much and I do feel like my pain was worse after this visit. He referred me for an MRI but I decided that i'm not doing it. I am 36 years old, married with two young children and otherwise in relatively good health.
I remember going to play basketball a few days later and was in a car with my friend Dean and a relatively new guy who was Dean's friend. We were discussing back issues and I told them about my surgery, which at the time I was going to go ahead with. After we had played, Dean later told me that the new guy had said 'what, you're telling me that he needs spinal surgery?' I was running around and during the game wasn't really conscious of pain to a large extent.
My friend sent me the Dr Sarno youtube recording of his book a while ago, which I listened to, however, I guess I wasn't quite ready to accept this TMS thing at that point and continued with the conventional treatments until shortly after the surgical consultation.
After the surgeon, I was desperate. I went out an purchased the Dr Sarno book Healing Back Pain, took a days holiday from work, sat on the beach and read the whole thing, using a marker to highlight all the key points. I have read Steven Ozanich's 'The great pain deception'. I am 'on the journey', no longer on any pain medication or undertaking conventional treatment. I'm keeping active - doing walks with the family, playing some basketball, swimming and occasionally surfing. However, the pain remains a constant feature of my life and is often very severe. It's constantly on my mind. I do feel like it's getting worse and my wife said this to me last night.
I have spent time considering factors from my past which may be generating strong emotions that are repressed, of which there are a number of events that could be an issue. I also write down current thoughts and feelings, such as my relationship with my wife, work pressures and family/ kids. There are some issues here too. I've just gone through Alan Gordon's treatment plan, which I have to say has been really interesting. Slight difference in treatment but the somatic tracking is something i'm going to explore further. Exploring the pain.
I think one of the main issues in my self treatment plan is that, unlike patients in the US, it's not possible to have a physician review scans and make a TMS diagnosis in Australia. The CU Boulder back pain patients that were in the study had Dr Schubiner to review scans as a physician.
In terms of belief, which is a key matter, I have it. The surgical consultation, being in the room with a respected medical specialist who tells you that he's going to go in, remove a disc and replace it with a rubber one and then fuse it all together - that is hard to get out of my mind.
Thank you for reading. Any guidance or feedback would be amazing. I'm very hopeful of working my way through this and having the outcomes that so many others have had before me. With the work i've done so far, I would have expected to have had my pain reduced by now.
Gary
