Day 12 Returning to normal?

Hello.
Today I took a walk with my husband, walking about a one mile (probably less) loop through the forest outside of our home. For the past 2 years, walking this loop seemed like a distant dream. We started off hoping to go a little further than last time (about a 10th of a mile), but ended up completing the entire loop. I cried with happiness and picked up a rock to remind me of this accomplishment and eventful moment.

Later in the day my knees felt stiff, but I kept repeating some affirmations: "I am flexible and fluid. I move forward with confidence" and checking in for any emotional challenges. I got on a stationary bike and found my knees feeling more and more uncomfortable.

During a few more points it felt like the intense pain that I've been so fearful of began returning, but not quite. I continued the affirmations and the emotional check-ins.

Right now my knees feel like two giant bruises. I know that it was a wonderful accomplishment to walk that forest loop, a place so precious to me, and yet I can feel the anxiety creeping in and the ever-present question, "Will my knees be okay?"

So I'm focussing on this present moment. I'm allowing myself to feel the anxiety. I'm trying not to overly focus on my knees, and stay with what's real in my heart and direct moment-to-moment experience. All I can say is... it's very challenging.

Still, I'm going to sleep tonight celebrating the fact that I got to spend time in a beautiful place on this planet and I got there on my own two feet

Thanks for reading!
Janine

 

Congrats Jamie huge accomplishment keep going a little further each time you walk .

God bless

Marco

 

Awesome Jamie
When that doubt starts to creep in say "nope, I know what this is. I am working this program. I have the tools to defeat you. "

I have been out of the program 5 years. I still work all the time on my minds influence over my body. I have been playing pickleball for 2 years. 3 days ago my partner was disappointed in my play. I "visually " could see his disappointment. His shoulders drooped. He had a heavy sigh. His paddle dropped. He slumped around the court.

My left hip tied into a knot. I started limping on the court. Initially I was not aware of the exact reason for the pain. I thought I had turned wrong or twisted wrong BUT there was no memory of a specific injury. Doubt and fear creeped in but I am 100% prone to TMS. I journaled ....now know with 100% belief it is TMS. I played again yesterday not letting TMS win.

You are doing terrific and that wiil continue.

 

Thanks so much Marco and Stella. Your encouragement and own stories are so helpful to me.
All the best,
Janine

 

Wonderful work/news Janine. I am very happy for you.

I get that. I had some tears of joy with breakthroughs too! Your words bring it back. Thank you.