Day 3 Resuming physical activity

As I'm successfully dealing with my ankle TMS, I'm now walking well without much issue.

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However, as the symptom has mostly moved to my butt, hip, and thigh (pain mostly appears when sitting), I now have a fear of sitting. I'm an investment analyst, and I have to sit at least 9 hours a day; there's no way I can avoid sitting 100%. So.. I have to endure the pain when it comes while sitting anyway. But.. because I don't like to feel pain (the painful feeling of sitting bone squeezed onto the chair), I get up and walk around at work as often as possible. I think I still have 1~5% doubt it occurred by physical issue (e.g., I sat too long too much due to ankle injury and the butt bursitis is irritated, weak muscle due to lack of exercise, etc.) and this feeds TMS around my body.

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Because of my hip joint pain, I don't do stretches that I usually did in the morning (butterfly position of yoga). This is because I'm afraid if this harms my hip joint... I'm afraid if there has been a little physical issue with my hip joint which was not discovered yet and I hurt it by doing something that I shouldn't do to a weak part. Before, I felt fresher and limber after the stretch. Now I'm only scared to do it with passion.

I know I need to be free from fear to get rid of the symptoms.. but I think I feel quite a stress, too, when I force myself to resume all activities that makes pain. I'm afraid of the pain. I don't want to have more pain... I just want the pain to dissipate away... not grow at any moment. To cut the vicious cycle, I need to cut the fear, but when I think of the expected pain, I'm severely stressed....

 

Dr. Sarno and

 

Steve Ozanich and others say to do the exercise and try to ignore the pain,
that you're not hurting yourself. Don't let the stretches make you fear you will make
the pain worse. That's conditioning yourself to fear doing them.

It isn't easy, but their experience says it works.

 

I feel for you seraphina, i'm in a very similar position, I used to be very active up until I started getting excruciating pain all of a sudden, im very new to tms and currently reading one of sarnos books, it makes me feel like getting my life back and jumping on my bike and gym and all the other stuff I used to do, however like you say getting over the fear is another matter.. As for ignoring the pain, when it is present and exercising, it simply wouldn't be an option with the kind of pain I experience. Having said that I am certainly going to try and get my life back and hope you make progress.

 

seraphina, Maybe the best thing to do about your fear of pain, is to seek the most uncomfortable positions and laugh at it, see the pain as a signal that is trying to tell you that what your doing is a good thing (your changing your ways) and then just laugh it away. Talk to it, say that the pain doesn't help and that you are going to do this. Tell the pain to F** off . Just try and make it an exercise. You say you need to sit for 9 hours. Or else you're not doing it good enough? Who's that to tell you? Your bully! Fight it.
Just make an exercise that you will sit on a chair and when the pain comes, fight it, tell your self its a good thing, its okay to feel it, nurse it, love it, be happy about it.

Your body is telling you that there is something wrong emotionally and that you will seek to attend to it and work it.

Hope this helps!

Enumo

 

Very good advice from Enumo. I find that laughing at my pain or anxiety drives it away fast.

 

Seraphina, have you been doing your journaling, watching your emotional reactions and feeling your emotions. When you fear the pain, become aware of what that emotion of fear feels like in your body and notice it, sit with it without judgement or fear to the emotion.
Keep your mind on what your emotions of fear to the pain feel like when you have the pain and you will soon realize why you are fearing the pain, more than likely because you still feel that it's some what physical as you stated above. Still feel the emotions of fear without fearing the fear OK, this will give you power over this emotion and help ease your pain.
When you recondition your personality traits you will begin to win this battle, your doubts stem from the pain, feel the emotions and then get your mind back to the now in harmony, on peace.

Bless you