Day 18 Resume normal activity

[kindlethelight]

Hi all,
I have been doing so well. I have not had any of my usual migraine, tension headache or back pain. It has felt really great. However, yesterday, I went dancing. I used to go to a class called 5 rhythms which is very organic and free style of dancing. I went to a morning class and felt a headache come on during the class. A day later and I have the usual back tension, neck tension and tension headache which may or may not lead to a migraine. I am so fed up! I have resumed running again and have had no issues with that but the dancing gets me every time. Is this a conditioned response? (There may be a lot of stuff buried within me about dancing. I was shamed as a child during a ballet performance for getting the steps wrong)? Feeling a little down over the pain that I feel but at the same time, I feel good about not having any pain for 2 weeks.
Thanks all.

 

[Peggy]

I used to do Gabrielle Roth's 5 Rhythms as well. I think the idea is that emotions come up (along with the rhythms) and you let them out with the dancing. At the end of class there were papers and markers so we could express what we felt on paper. Our classes we quite intimate, so we would talk about our feelings after the dance. My question to you is are you letting your emotions out while you dance? Maybe you need to dance out the buried feelings . Or maybe you just do a little release at a time so you can be gentle with yourself. I used to have a tape I made myself of the 5 rhythms and dance that myself at home at least once a day for months, maybe years, I don't remember.

 

[mominm]

I can't speak to the dance class, but I wanted to let you know that I'm dealing with the same TMS symptom and I was heartened to hear that you've been doing well until your dance class. The others with more experience can speak to the conditioned response question.

 

[Ellen]

It could very well be a conditioned response. While working on getting rid of my migraines, for awhile I still had them when the barometric pressure changed. I figured out that it was a conditioned response and worked on it with that in mind. I finally was able to 'unlearn' it.I will look for my post on how I did it and link to it.

Don't get discouraged. It can take a little time but you can heal from TMS headaches/migraines.

 

[Ellen]

Here's my post on addressing conditioning:


Hi all,
Just want to report that I've been having success at taming my weather-related trigger. I've seen some posts this winter from several forum members who are also affected by changes in the barometric pressure. And since those of us in the US are having a winter full of barometric pressure changes as many weather fronts move through, I thought it might be helpful to post how I'm coping with this trigger.

• First by acknowledging and accepting that this is a conditioned response that can be changed, and not just something I have to live with. The research on whether there is a true cause and effect relationship between changes in barometric pressure and certain physical symptoms is inconclusive. Yes, changes in barometric pressure cause changes in the fluids in the body and in cortisol levels, but these changes are very minimal and should not cause me to have sinus pain, migraines, and joint pain. These symptoms have been caused by TMS for many, many years in my case, and have led to sensitized nerve pathways that are triggered by these slight changes.
• When I know the barometric pressure is changing I use a lot of self-talk/affirmations like, "Changes in barometric pressure create only very slight changes in my body and do not need to result in pain", etc.
• If I do start to experience symptoms then I use mindfulness meditation (or Focusing) where I spend at least 20 minutes focusing on the symptom(s) in a non-judgmental way, like a curious observer. Then I use deep breathing and on the out-breath I tell the symptom to "soften and flow" without forcing it or expecting any change. This usually works in 20 minutes to get rid of the symptoms, but there have been times I've had to do it for 40 minutes.

I've been very pleased with the success I've had with these techniques over the past month. And it has been put to the test with the crazy weather we are having. So it is quite possible to change conditioned responses. I no longer feel like a victim to the weather! This is freedom, folks.

 

[kindlethelight]

Thanks everyone.
I do believe it is a conditioned response but it is also linked to very high levels of shame. Dance brings that up in me. Shame and comparing and despairing. For the first hour of the class all I did was compare myself to everyone there and come out the worse off! I know where this comes from and there is huge rage around being constantly shamed as a kid.
So I can see that I need to work on it being a conditioned response but I would love some feedback in dealing with very high levels of shame and the rage underneath that. I can see some fear setting in around dancing and I don't want that to happen because it is such a medium of expression for me.
Today is Day 19 and I although the pain has returned, my spirits are high because after two weeks of consistent pain free days, I am happy to know that I can have a pain-free life. I will say this though, I am angry. Man? Am I angry. And vulnerable. And sad. All of the emotions that I have been hiding in my pain, are all out on the table. Laid bare. Rage seems to rush through my body and I know its healthy. I have a lot of stuff that needs expression, but its not easy to stay with that. I have said this before, but I can easily see why I would develop pain in order to avoid this stuff. But I am here. And I am grateful to be on this journey and to receive such amazing support from you all.

 

[Tanya]

Hi all,
I have been doing so well. I have not had any of my usual migraine, tension headache or back pain. It has felt really great. However, yesterday, I went dancing. I used to go to a class called 5 rhythms which is very organic and free style of dancing. I went to a morning class and felt a headache come on during the class. A day later and I have the usual back tension, neck tension and tension headache which may or may not lead to a migraine. I am so fed up! I have resumed running again and have had no issues with that but the dancing gets me every time. Is this a conditioned response? (There may be a lot of stuff buried within me about dancing. I was shamed as a child during a ballet performance for getting the steps wrong)? Feeling a little down over the pain that I feel but at the same time, I feel good about not having any pain for 2 weeks.
Thanks all.

Hi Kindlethelight,
While I was reading this thread it made me rethink something significant that happened to me recently - just last week. While I was dancing with my dance teacher last week I became overwhelmed and nervous and suddenly felt that I didn't know how to dance...It was so powerful. I felt embarrassed, slightly frozen and knew I would not find my way out...I expressed to him that I was so 'nervous' with a laugh. And he said 'don't worry about it' very kindly. Still, I was already in that space. I ended up leaving soon after that dance and while going home got stuck in a negative, dark, self critical space. I was so aware of the feelings and wondered the whole way home how they came up...
As I read your post I recalled having the same drop of confidence and shame in my dance classes as a young girl - always aware of the better dancers, never feeling good enough, etc. I also have realized, through this forum and SEP that I become extremely and needlessly intimidated of any authority figures - and through some trauma as a child have responded frequently with the 'frozen' state, where everything shuts down...
Anyway, thank you so much for sharing your post - it provided such great insight for me. And thanks for letting me share my thoughts..