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Report from the TMS trenches

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by jazzhands, Sep 19, 2014.

  1. jazzhands

    jazzhands Peer Supporter

    Visiting family. I live five states away and haven't seen any of these folks in a few years, and I was a teenager back then. Now that I'm an adult and I lift weights everyone wants to relate all of their chronic pain woes to me. All of the older adults have back pain ("disc") issues, so does my cousin who is 3 months older than me. It's pretty crazy to me because while I've known people with TMS I've never been sat down and talked to for hours about their various chronic pain issues. Mostly I feel bad because my grandmother is now in a wheelchair most of the time due to arthritic knees and it's hard on everyone. I'm not bold enough to speak up and spread the word so I guess I just wanted to rant a little. (These folks also need to lose some weight to take some strain off their bodies, which is something I'm definitely not bold enough to say to their faces).
  2. North Star

    North Star Beloved Grand Eagle

    Jazzhands, boy do I hear you! As SteveO points out in his book, aches and pains are the socially acceptable way to bitch about your unhappiness in life. (Not his words, btw. ;) )
    It's tough when it's family but the good thing is you have some distance from them. I moved far away from family when I was 17 - I knew the environment would suck me under if I didn't.

    And once you get even just the basic of TMS, you realize how pervasive it is! I'm learning to just smile and hold my peace unless I sense there is an open door to discuss TMS. I've found that even those who seem open to it , quickly shut the door upon any further reflection. It's just too threatening to the ego.

    And yes…many people complain about their self-inflicted health woes too. As I'm getting older, I'm finding it easier to simply have compassion instead of getting annoyed or judgmental. (Something I excel at!)

    Holding your peace on such matters is probably a good thing. :)

    Isn't it great that we have this community so we can talk about this sort of stuff?
    jazzhands and Forest like this.
  3. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Jazzhands.

    Maybe send those in your family that you'd like to tell about TMS... maybe send each a copy of
    Dr. Sarno's book Healing Back Pain. Send it anonymously.
    North Star and jazzhands like this.
  4. yb44

    yb44 Beloved Grand Eagle

    Well put, North Star.

    Jazzhands, I was down in the trenches earlier this year speaking to family and friends who almost unanimously had some ailment or condition. I felt like a detective considering the reasons why this one had sciatica and that one had plantar whateveritscalled. I didn't discuss TMS with them, just let them vent about their lives and I empathised. My very elderly mother suffers pain that she attributes to arthritis, osteoporosis and a twisted spine. During a visit to see her she had some sort of gastric problem and was pretty miserable. Out of the blue she remarked that surprisingly enough she hadn't needed to take any of her usual pain medications because her neck had stopped hurting. It was such a perfect example of the symptom imperative and what a bummer I couldn't even share that with her. I could consider an anonymous donation of a copy of Healing Back Pain, as Walt suggests.
    North Star and jazzhands like this.
  5. jazzhands

    jazzhands Peer Supporter

    I hadn't even considered that. I was never open about my pain but I guess for a lot of people it is a way of saying they are unhappy.
    North Star likes this.

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