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Reminder #6- Nothing to Fear

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by Eric "Herbie" Watson, Jul 23, 2013.

  1. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Ok at first I thought this reminder was telling me to go out and totally work against the pain. Since my body was normal there was nothing to fear -- so after my first 30 days of reading Sarnos book " Healing back pain " I decided to go and lift weights right where I'd left off a year earlier -- been basically bedridden for this time and it was almost impossible for me to even tie my shoes and here I was about to hit the weights with all I had.

    I was excited to the core, it was amazing that I'd finally hit the holy grail in healing. My mind had turned on me and it was time I took control of my mind and body back. I kept telling myself silently but in a strong voice I'm healed, I'm healed, I'm healed and out the door I went to the dead lift bar on the ground that held 160lbs. The exact bar and weight that I'd hurt myself with a year earlier. No more intimidation, no more excuses. I was fed up with being the person that couldn't even take the garbage out without hurting or cut my own lawn.

    I remember if I even tried to sweep the kitchen id be in severe pain for at least a week and now I was about to lift this weight that id been told not to touch ever again. See in the past the weights were my safe haven, I always had gotten a load of tension release after a good workout and that was took from me on that dreadful day that I was showing my fiance how to help her back get stronger.
    I thought it was just a pulled muscle. Take it easy for a week and start back light -- work my way up, no problem. Well that taking it easy wasn't the issue. I just never healed up any. So back to the no fear response -- there I was standing over the steel that had laid me down for so long, taken my hope and crushed it.
    Now I was told by an MD Dr. Sarno that I had nothing to fear. This is how I took his meaning anyhow and it really sunk deep. I told my best friend Roxy to follow along and watch the miracle as it took place (Roxy is my beloved pet dog).
    So there I was outside for the first time since I could remember and then my fiance and my pet Roxy looking at me like alright already go ahead and do it.
    I'd been standing there for a good 5 minutes giving my mind a lashing with my mind how I was going to do this with no pain and never hurt again.
    I straitened my back, bent down and grabbed the weights and up with em I went - 1 I'm strong - 2, you cant beat me, 3 I'm the winner. 4 I'm strong and so on till I finished at ten and put the weight down -- now I felt great. I wasn't in pain and its like I scared the tms right outta my body and mind. After all id just found this new super power and I wasn't about to let it go.
    Now this was my first attempt back to attempting things again and I really wouldn't advice this approach. I did have a great night that night and I went on to brag about my new found youth to many - many friends and family members.
    I was over estatic when I woke up the next day and I didn't even have a slight bit of soreness
    Wow could this really be happening, is this real - or is it a dream - I had to pinch myself to make sure.
    Yea it was real so I went back out to the weights again and this time I worked out for about an hour straight. I did feel the pain flooding my body that night but I finished the workout and still by faith came in to brag more about my accomplishments.
    Now about 4 weeks into it I just knew I was one of the book cure statistics. I'd been able to work out this long even though the pain seemed to be coming back more and subtly.

    Ok now at the end of the month the pain hit me like a jack hammer, it was actually worse than it had ever been that I can remember and its vengeance was taking hold- TMS with a capital T. Was I wrong to have attacked the body like this? Was Dr. Sarno telling me the truth? Did I turn left when I should have went right?

    No Dr. Sarno wasn't in the wrong- but I did take the wrong road!- Let me Explain.

    See after the great book cure experience , and then the great set back I do remember Sarno advising to let the pain reside before I went to do task such as exercising- See I had to get all the conflicts and
    repressions - soothed and understood before that great real healing came. ill never forget I just got done watching a television episode on hope when I felt the tension in my body release
    and I understood that night what I didn't understand before- I had controlled the tension and kept it in my body this whole time- The night it released was unlike anything id ever experienced before
    id actually learned how to control the pain in my body and to release it- this was some 5 months after the weight lifting experiment- I knew then what Dr. Sarno meant when he said not to fear it - let it reside and continue on with my life....
    I learned so much in those months reading Sarnos Books over and over again and I still read all of Sarnos books and everything I can get my hands on about Tms healing....it set me free and now I don't fear it...
    I'd strongly advise to let it reside as Sarno says and do your homework. Lose the focus and the fear of the pain.... and believe, believe Sarnos words... its all true....
    This does go right into reminder #7 and 8 -- how physical activity is not dangerous and I must resume all physical activity -- cause after I thought about it , if it was going to harm me I would have never got to go on and recover 5 months later. The Dr. said I would have permanently damaged myself - well Sarno was right and they were wrong....
    See I just created to much tension and strain to soon, after I learned to understand repression release and meditation (soothing), then I learned to take the light steps back into exercise. I finally got the true meaning of Sarnos genius - Wow
    Last edited: Mar 27, 2014
    jazzhands, Ellen, G.R. and 5 others like this.
  2. Anne Walker

    Anne Walker Beloved Grand Eagle

    This is a very encouraging story, Eric. Thanks for posting. It helps to clarify when to really push through the pain. I take it we should focus as much as possible on the psychological work and try to relax and trust a healing will happen when we are ready, don't try to fight it or push it. Pain + Patience = Work!
    G.R., Msunn and Eric "Herbie" Watson like this.
  3. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    That's awesome Anne, You totally got it
    thanks for the reply
  4. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Another great post from you, Herbie, and explanation of how and when to exercise. Anne says it right, too.
    Herbie, maybe you should have returned to weight-lifting more gradually, in what you lifted and how long you spent in the gym.

    But the main thing was to follow Sarno's advice as Anne says.
  5. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Yes Walt thanks. This is a post from my heart. I wrote the whole experience in our book and what happened later that night after the motivational episode. Thanks also for being a fan and reading my post. I am your fan too buddy -- :) Its like we have known each other for a long time. Almost as we could have written a book together in a past life or something. Wow, ;)
    Oh wait we did write that book and its available now. Oh yea, I tell in the book how to gradually come back and get into shape rather than try to push it.
    The don't fear part can't be explained enough though as I know now. Often our friends are in conditioned fear and it seems impossible that the pain will ever leave ya know. Well as we know it will leave and you will get your life back when you get complete control over Reminder # 6.
    Bless You
    G.R. likes this.
  6. G.R.

    G.R. Well known member

    Herbie, How encouraging!!!! Thank you for taking the time to post your experience!!
    I am going to go read your book now.
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  7. tigerlilly

    tigerlilly Well known member

    Thanks, Herbie - I think it is beneficial for all TMS'ers that are struggling with the fear of the pain.

    Regarding the quote clip below - I would love to hear the top 3 things that persons have used and found effective to lose the conditioned fear. Whether it is breathing exercises, meditation, journaling, etc. I realize that everyone responds differently, but perhaps there is a common thread that might stand out and be helpful to hone in on. It seems we get so caught up in a hypersensitive, vicious cycle, that we have a hard time focusing or finding something that will work for us.

    Often our friends are in conditioned fear and it seems impossible that the pain will ever leave ya know. Well as we know it will leave and you will get your life back when you get complete control over Reminder # 6.
  8. G.R.

    G.R. Well known member

    Hi, Tigerlilly,
    What I been practicing is when I walk if my muscles tighten up, I just stop and wait and take a deep
    breath. I talk gently to my body and tell my body are safe. We will get through this and we are letting go of fear.
    I keep saying that over and over.

    Other times, I could be yelling at my brain telling it there is nothing physically wrong with you.
    It just depends what I feel and what I need at that moment. I use the more loving approach more, though.

    I know as I become more aware of fear, I identify it as soon as it comes and feel it and then let
    as Claire Weekes suggests let the fear float.

    I, also think saying affirmations of confidence really helps.
    Hope that helps someone.
  9. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Thank you Rose, You have always been so good at your research into tms healing. I know we will have so much to talk about as you read through the book. Another reason I wrote the book is because I wanted others to know how I over looked crucial knowledge not thinking it applied to me because of my id -- ego conflict and the unbelief principle.
    I have learned a lot from many disciplines most all of them had a piece to the puzzle that I went right back over studied again and got revelations each time I re-studied. I'd be like ok, I'm going to write about this cause its important and then I'd see another important factor and then another till I finally decided it was time to write the book.
    I hope you enjoy it and heal from it. I even got a guarantee in the book that if you do all I have laid out that you will heal. Now I know that has been said over and over but with all the time and help I have put in over the years helping others to heal I learned a good bit. As I have mentioned before I already had most of the leanings down by the time I read Sarnos Books. I just put it all together -- I wanted a manual of sorts. Now We have one.
    Bless You
  10. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Awesome, I'd Say the first line of defense when it comes to fear is to have Claire Weekes teachings down. The Face, Float, Accept and time rule. Then next would be knowing that the pain is nothing that can permanently harm you as Dr. Sarno said above. Then Dr. Abraham Lowe Saying that fear is a belief and beliefs can be changed was very important. I do like the Focusing by Eugene Gendlin and how you can focus on the feeling of the emotion of fear and soon it will dissipate as long as you don't judge or criticize your fear you will be doing the golden rule to all the therapies that work. Eckart Tolles book the power of now and living in the now has become a powerful mainstay in my life and the list goes on. But you just said three....:)
    tigerlilly likes this.
  11. tigerlilly

    tigerlilly Well known member

    Thank you Herbie and G.R. - all good suggestions.
    I listened to the four Claire Weeks clips you posted on another link. I really like her style and would like to find more from her.
    I've tried yelling at the brain; I've tried babying the pain and being gentle and accepting. I've only started recently being accepting of it, and this seems to help to some degree. I think I just need to do it more.

    For some reason, I've had the theme song to Indiana Jones in my head for a few months now - like an ear worm that won't go away! So now when I go for my daily walk (which is usually torture in regards to the pain factor), I use the theme of that song and sing: I am fearless!!! There's no pain!!! I am fearless, and I shall walk again!! Da-da-dah-dah, dah-dah-dah. And I make up words as I go. (I'm such a nerd!) But at least it helps keep me distracted!!
  12. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi. Tigerlilly. I remember that Indiana Jones theme and it is great one to use when walking. I'll see if I can find it on YouTube. Here it is!

    Eric "Herbie" Watson and G.R. like this.
  13. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    I love that series. It's a great distraction from TMS pain.
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  14. tigerlilly

    tigerlilly Well known member

    Thanks Walt - now everyone on the board can do a sing-a-long (ha-ha!):


    Yep. Definitely a nerd, I am!! :)
  15. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    I love your litany of affirmations, tigerlilly. I will put them on my desktop.
    And the photo of Smeagle always warms my heart.
    He looks like he's wearing a turtleneck sweater!

    Annie is napping. She's so tolerant of me being on the computer all day.
    At about 4 pm we play together in the house and soon as the weather improves
    we will do that in the back yard.

    Some of my best friends are nerds. Nice people.
  16. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Here is just some of Claire's Wisdom -- these are some of her most famous tools

    Dos and Don’ts
    1. Do not run away from fear. Analyze it and see it as no more then physical feelings. Feelings are not facts, do not be bluffed.
    2. Accept all strange sensations connected with your illness. Do not
    fight them. Float past them. Recognize that they are temporary.
    3. Let there be no self-pity.
    4. Settle your problems as quickly as you can, if not with action, then by glimpsing and accepting a new point of view.
    5. Waste no time on “What might have been” and “If only…”
    6. Face sorrow and know that time will bring relief.
    7. Be occupied. Do not lie in bed brooding. Be occupied calmly , not feverishly trying to forget yourself.
    8. Remember that the strength in a muscle may depend on the confidence with which it is used.
    9. Accept your obsessions and be prepared to live with them
    temporarily. Do not fight them by trying to push them away. Let time do
    10. Remember your recovery does not necessarily depend “entirely on
    you” as so many people are so ready to tell you. You may need help.
    Accept it willingly, without shame.
    11. Do not measure your progress day by day. Don’t count the months,
    years you have been ill and despair at the thought of them. Once you
    are on the right road to recovery, recovery is inevitable, however
    protracted your illness may have been.
    12. Remember withdrawal is your jailer. Recovery lies on the other side of panic. Recovery lies in places you fear.
    13. Do not be discouraged if you cannot make decisions while you are ill. When you are well, decisions will be more easily made.
    14. Never accept total defeat. It is never too late to give yourself another chance.
    15. Practice don’t test.
    16. Face. Accept. Float. Let time pass.
    If you do this, you WILL recover.

    I want to say what facing is where you know your about to have anxiety or a pain episode right. So you don't fear it, or judge it or criticize it. Wait for it to come if it must, most everyone has been taught to hate anxiety and Pain. Well the more you hate it the more it will become and the bigger it will get so you have to learn how to Float. I'd highly recommend getting her book ok.

    If you would like more of Claire Weekes tigerlilly, Then make sure to get her book " Hope and Help for you Nerves " But I do explain her concepts in our book so look for those concepts and how to do them again and again with the instructions in my book you got ok. Remember we face but not fearing the pain and then we accept that we can do these steps and again we don't fear the pain and then when the pain comes we let it be without judgement or criticism but I add Eugene Gendlins Focusing tool here with the acceptance and float through the pain. Do you know how this is done? and then let time pass. Let me know -- i can explain it more with the right threads.
    Yes always practice more, way more ok. And learn more tools from My book and Lowes books and Weekes books ok. I will say though tigerlilly that I got together a great list of Abraham Lowe's main quotes and tools , here is the Tools, see which ones you can use ok.

    Tools List
    The tools on this list are quoted or adapted from Mental Health Through Will Training (MH), Selections from Dr. Low’s Works (SEL) and Manage Your Fears, Manage Your Anger (MYF) and will help you take part in a Recovery International meeting. Many other tools can be found in these books.
    Some Basic RI Tools
    Treat mental health as a business and not as a game………………..…...……………MH ch.25
    Humor is our best friend, temper is our worst enemy……………………………….…..MH p.108
    If you can't change a situation you can change your attitude towards it...MYF p.108, Sel. p.31‐32
    Be self‐led, not symptom‐led. …..………………………………………......MYF p.114‐118, 280‐283
    Nervous symptoms and sensations are distressing but not dangerous…….….….. SEL p.53, MH p.115, 119
    Temper is, among other things, an intellectual blindness to the other side of the story…………MH p.159
    Comfort is a want, not a need. ………………………………..……………......….....MH chs.13, 22
    There is no right or wrong in the trivialities of every day life………...SEL p.39, MH p.157, 195‐196
    Calm begets calm, temper begets temper………………………….…...…….MYF p.245, SEL p.31
    Don't take our own dear selves too seriously………………………………....………….MH p.109
    Feelings should be expressed and temper suppressed…………………....……...…....MH p.178
    Helplessness is not hopelessness………………………..……………….……MH ch.7, MYF p.184
    Some people have a passion for self‐distrust…….…………...…..…….MH ch.29 & MYF Lecture 2
    Temper maintains and intensifies symptoms………………………..…….……….……MH p. 219
    Do things in part acts……………………………………………….…….……….……MH p.246‐249
    Endorse yourself for the effort, not only for the performance……...…….MYF p.13, SEL p.46, 132
    Have the courage to make a mistake………………..……….MH p.203, ch.30, MYF p.60, SEL p.108
    Feelings are not facts……………………………...……………..………….MH ch.9, MYF Lecture 14
    Do the things you fear and hate to do……………...………..…………...MH p. 329‐330, MYF p.197
    Fear is a belief –– beliefs can be changed………………………………………….MYF p.266‐269
    Every act of self‐control leads to a sense of self‐respect....…………….…….………..MH p.166
    Decide, plan and act. ………………………….……………………………………………...MH p.42
    Any decision will steady you……………………………………...……………….………...MYF p.5
    Anticipation is often worse than realization….…………………..…..………….MH p.114‐115, 146
    Replace an insecure thought with a secure thought……………..……….….……..MYF Lecture 1
    Bear the discomfort in order to gain comfort…………………….………….…………….MH p.149
    Hurt feelings are just beliefs not shared………………………………….………………..SEL p.21
    Self‐appointed expectations lead to self‐induced frustrations…………….…………….SEL p.35
    People do things that annoy us, not necessarily to annoy us………..…...…………….MH ch.48
    Knowledge teaches you what to do, practice tells you how to do it……...……………SEL p.118
    Muscles can be commanded to do what one fears to do………………………..……..SEL p.123
    Tempers are frequently uncontrolled, but not uncontrollable.…………………………..MH p.392

    I love this tigerlilly, you have created a powerful Tool -- :)
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  17. G.R.

    G.R. Well known member

    You are amazing!!! This is awesome!!

    And Tigerlily, Walt's and Herbie's book is just so informative and inspiring!!
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  18. Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)

    Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021) Beloved Grand Eagle

    Great post, Herbie. And thanks, Tiger Lily and GR.
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  19. tigerlilly

    tigerlilly Well known member

    Wow - thank you for the wealth of information, Herbie. This is a keeper post for sure.
    I'm still trying to wrap my mind around facing, focusing, accepting, etc. I 'get' the concept and can see where it will be helpful - I think I'm just trying to overcome the physical pain in order to do these things. Like, I can lay here in bed and practice relaxation, breathing, etc. But when I get up to do something, oh man, even when I try to stay distracted with thoughts ('Oh it's so beautiful out today." Or, "I'm just going throw these ingredients in the crockpot for dinner because I love cooking"), once the pains comes it is just so distracting that I have a hard time focusing on anything else.
    So I feel like I'm in this Catch22 situation - the advice from books, Sarno video, TMSWiki - is to move around, embrace and love life. To get back to normal activities. But right now I'm barely able to do these things. Or if I do accomplish something, (like the crockpot, for example - because that happened this morning for me) I'm in pain more because of it. So how do I ignore the pain and get back to a normal life? I feel like it's one step forward, and 10 steps back.
    Sorry to ramble - I had a good three days (Fri-Sunday) and then my back went into small spasm last night and I've been in pain ever since. So I guess I'm feeling a little down. But on the plus side, at least it is not in major spasm - so hopefully it won't last as long.
    But thank you very much for the information - I've already shared some of it with my husband, who is suffering from TMS (was in his back; now in his foot).
    Jlinwarr likes this.
  20. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    I would use Eugene Gendlins Focusing before I get up for sure. See its a tool in which you lie their and think about the name of the emotion your feeling while your in pain and then you think about the hurt area or painful area without judgment or criticism and you'll notice the more you focus on the emotion that is a part of this pain -- overtime -- the more this emotion and the pain will subside. It would be an awesome tool to try for sure. Sort of like Claire Weekes Tool number 1 and 2 above accept its a continued practice. Here is the Eugene Gendlin on how to Focus ok -

    1. Clearing a space What I will ask you to do will be silent, just to yourself. Take a moment just to relax. All right—
    now, inside you, I would like you to pay attention inwardly, in your body, perhaps in your stomach or chest. Now see what comes there when you ask, "How is my life going? What is the main thing for me right now?" Sense within your body. Let the answers come slowly from this sensing. When some concern comes, DO NOT GO INSIDE IT.
    Stand back, say "Yes, that's there. I can feel that, there." Let there be a little space between you and that. Then ask what else you feel. Wait again, and sense. Usually there are several things.
    2.Felt sense From among what came, select one personal problem to focus on.DO NOT GO INSIDE IT. Stand back from it.
    Of course, there are many parts to that one thing you are thinking about—too many to think of each one alone. But
    you can feel all of these things together. Pay attention there where you usually feel things, and in there you can get a sense of what all of the problem feels like. Let yourself feel the unclear sense of all of that.
    3.HandleWhat is the quality of this unclear felt sense? Let a word, a phrase, or an image come up from the felt sense itself. It might be a quality-word, like tight, sticky, scary, stuck, heavy, jumpy, or a phrase, or an image. Stay with the quality of the felt sense till something fits it just right.
    4.Resonating Go back and forth between the felt sense and the word (phrase, or image). Check how they resonate with each other. See if there is a little bodily signal that lets you know there is a fit. To do it, you have to have the felt sense there again, as well as the word.
    Let the felt sense change, if it does, and also the word or picture, until they feel just right in capturing the quality of the felt sense.
    5. Asking Now ask: What is it, about this whole problem, that makes this quality (which you have just named or pictured)?
    Make sure the quality is sensed again, freshly, vividly (not just remembered from before). When it is here again, tap it, touch it, be with it, asking, "What makes the whole problem so ____?" Or you ask, "What is in this sense?"
    If you get a quick answer without a shift in the felt sense, just let that kind of answer go by. Return your attention to your body and freshly find the felt sense again. Then ask it again.
    Be with the felt sense till something comes along with a shift, a slight "give" or release.
    6. Receiving Receive whatever comes with a shift in a friendly way. Stay with it a while, even if it is only a slight release. Whatever comes, this is only one shift; there will be others. You will probably continue after a little while, but stay here for a few moments.

    Ok listen, I wrote in depth about what I call the ignore method in my book ok. You should be able to find in in the word search. But I'm going to explain it the best I know for you ok. We ignore the pain yes by not focusing on the terrible emtions that come with the pain. We should try to find other things that the emotions we have with the pain and what they mean to us and how we feel them. Pain is there cause it wants you to know that your body needs some attention. You give the body attention by paying attention to the emotions and not the body, see. Don't ignore the pain that you are causing while your trying to push through the pain cause that pain even though your not being futurally hurt -- its still saying hey, pay attention to the emotions. The more you move your body while in pain the more you will keep your mind on the body. You have to heal by facing the emotions first and then processing them, finding out what they are trying to say to you. Then over time as the pain sub-sides and you learn. What this means you will thank me.

    Do the above and see how it works, if you have any questions let me know ok. You have been on your journey a short while. Learn these tools and keep us posted ok. Its always the emotions that are tensed and strained, pressures and stresses. Write about al of that and then see if you can feel the emotions as you write. When your done writing make sure to talk out loud powerful affirmations ok and feel them in your body in the now. Like say peace in meditation or while your relaxed and imagine what peace feels like ok. Then so on. :)
    Bless You
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2014

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