relapse & fear

Hi guys,

so I've just been experiencing relapse 3 weeks ago (complete low back spasm out from nowhere - just squat down to pick up something and BAM!) but I know this is TMS. I still workout lightly and right now I'm doing much better (little pain)
However, I notice that my fear / anxiety is soaring eventhough the pain already subsided. I don't fear when the first time my back spasmed and keep working out, since I had nothing to lose anyway...
Personally the notion of my herniated disc does not cause back pain already sink in, but my brain keep spiraling down to "sure, your back is OK, but since you have TMS, you will still never know when the back spasm will attack" and keep me in fear of working out / moving / etc. My wife commented that I look stressed out all the time...

Is there any strategies to reverse the fear?

some personal history:
- experiencing back pain on/off for the last 5 years (2/3 times per year) sometimes in the left lumbar, sometimes in the right lumbar
- already checked with orthopedics - check the Xray - said my spine look normal.
- recently checked with neurologist, who ordered MRI - revealing disc bulge at L4-L5 and
disc herniation at L5-S1. I wasn't in pain when visiting, so the neurologist theorized that
somehow my body already "adapted" to the herniations. He dismissed me without restrictions
and only prescribed anti inflamatory for flare ups only
- looking back, I also suffered asthma during my teenage years, and also suffered GERD, reflux around 5-7 years ago

 

Hi Oscar,

It sounds like you are afraid of TMS symptoms and you know this. This is ironic in some ways because knowing that they are TMS symptoms and knowing that ignoring them has worked in past, you already have good experience in how to deal with TMS symptoms.

This is the anxious, fearful mind at work: "I know how to deal with TMS, but the fact I have TMS makes me feel out of control, helpless in face of it."

Your guidance to work with the fear is good, I think. The best way is to observe it, and eventually see through it. You can also use distraction, bringing your attention to something else when the fear comes up. Both approaches take the power out of the fear in the long run. Fear is hard not to "feed," but with practice we fear less over time.

Also: The more times you work through a relapse or come up against TMS and succeed ---even if the recovery takes some time, the less the fear will tend to stick when it does come up.

What you're experiencing is normal, the whole package. You are on the right track, and at the same there is no perfect way to deal with fear. It is the "down in the trenches" work that must be undertaken by each person.

Sending encouragement!

Andy B

 

Hi Andy,

thanks for the encouragement! right now I'm working on it! thanks a lot!

 

Oscar there is nothing to be afraid of, let the TMS align matters and you will feel good for it. Observe and apply it can be overcome with time and effort. Hope you got success with TMS towards better living ....

 

Hi Betsy,
thanks for the encouragement! it means a lot to me....