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Relapse - emotions and triggers

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Time2be, Nov 2, 2018.

  1. Time2be

    Time2be Well known member

    This spring I thought that I have arrived at a place where I am pain free or at least only have minor flares that I can accept and it will vanish. Nope. It seems I am getting nowhere. In the summer I panicked over stomach issues (which turned out to be caused by hormon pills). Now I had pain for some weeks and a bad flare that started last weekend. I wrote to my doctor if she had any advice. She wrote back that she needs to see me before she can tell me anything. My guess is that she also wanted to make some money. For the last years she charged only minor fees for her mails or a telephone talk. Fair enough I thought. But I was also anxious whether she expects to find something new? A new diagnosis? To see her includes a long 9 hours drive. I stayed at my sisters place and had a good conversation with her. To make it short: my bladder is just fine, she did a cystoscopy (it is not hurtful, really). No infection visible, though the lab results are coming Monday. On examination the pelvic muscles hurt like hell. It’s a knife-sharp pain. She says that I really need to look at my life and find out what is going wrong. It all psychosomatic from her perspective. I learned some yoga positions that relax the pelvic muscles.
    My sister thinks I need professional help to tackle this. Maybe she is right and I need to see my psychotherapist more often than every second month. When the panic strikes it is really difficult for me to not act out and catastrophize.
    And how to get out of this feeling of being trapped? I need to make changes and at the same time I feel so tired and almost burned out. I worked too much the last 3 months, again neglecting my needs.
    It feels a bit like I have so many issues that I don’t know where to start.... and then I realize that this is only another way of not giving up on the phantasy of being perfect.
    Ant advices? What do you do if you feel trapped?
    JanAtheCPA likes this.
  2. Time2be

    Time2be Well known member

    Doing not so well. Checking my urine, there are leukocytes. None when I was examined at urologist. And she always says that it doesn’t matter. It is just a stress reaction. I heard others here say the same.
    Why do I not learn? I should know better. But I still feel panic. Sometimes even disbelief that all this can be caused by my nervous system. Relapses are very difficult to tackle for me!
    I did better with a very low dose of amitriptyline. I consider to start again. Since I stopped in March I have many relapses or pain other places. I really don’t know ....

    5 hours later I can add: no leukocytes in urine, pain level going down, I calm down. I have a dinner invitation and I will go, despite the pain.
    This is a struggle!
    Last edited: Nov 3, 2018

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