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Rejection and Failure

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by GTfan, Aug 16, 2017.

  1. GTfan

    GTfan Peer Supporter

    I firmly believe that this fear of rejection is the number one reason for most of my internal repressed anger and even the conscious felt emotion.

    It's probably the worst feeling I could imagine. You go on a date with a pretty girl thinking things went well and get your hopes up, only to never hear back again. It's a deflating shot at your confidence and ego to think that someone saw what you had to offer and decided that you just weren't good enough.

    I think fear of rejection has most definitely held me back in life, for whatever reason, maybe a childhood reason I can't remember. Although I have gotten better, I have always been hesitant to approach girls out of fear.

    I also have an intense fear of failure. If I fail at a job at work, then I beat myself up a lot and think of myself poorly. If I'm not 100 percent sure of how to do something then I'm hesitant, because I don't want to fail. I think this has held me back, because it has prevented me from learning new things. I think this can also be tied to rejection too, because if I fail then I think my co-workers will "reject" me by thinking I'm not good at my job.

    I've even not performed sexually before, all because I was not confident or simply feared that I would not perform.

    My question is how can I overcome this intense fear of rejection and failure? Every time I experience it, it feels terrible. And the fear of it happening again prevents me from growing and learning from my mistakes.
  2. sadoromi

    sadoromi New Member

    I'd say fail as much as possible. Get rejected like 100 times. You'll eventually get used to it and you'll stop taking it to heart.
    I think that's the fastest way to prove to your subconscious mind that minor failures aren't life-threatening and there's nothing to fear, and it's in fact an absolutely normal thing. I guess even with the best preparation you'll always fail a bunch of times before you succeed, especially with girls.
    What actually threatens your life here is not failure though, it's giving up after it.
    Ellen likes this.
  3. Adventureseeker

    Adventureseeker Peer Supporter

    GTfan, I know what you mean. In my case it's fear of rejection in my professional career. I'm trying to change jobs, and each time I attend an interview and get rejected, it feels so bad. I'm starting to think there's something wrong with my personality :-( I do believe in my skills and aptitude, but it's so hard to convince other people in a few minutes!
    Maybe my fear of rejection isn't helping me, although I do my best to sound confident during interviews. I guess up till now the best solution I've found is to keep trying, to believe that if you knock on a hundred doors, one of them will eventually open...
    GTfan likes this.

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