Day 8 Recognizing emotions and the time to grieve?

[cookie_777]

I said before that I've been getting better- came back to re-do Day 8. I got so much better to the point that I didn't have pain and it felt so normal to have no pain I wasn't thinking about it. Then i had 3 intense days of work back to back and one night had to stay up until 6 am finishing an arts project and I could feel my neck and shoulders complaining as i was doing it but I pushed through. I don't know if such a thing is psychological pain or physical, because I was working for quite a while soemtimes looking down at my work all scrunched up.

Anyway, now, I know that I am stressed but the pain won't go away. I thought that if I become aware that I am unhappy, then the pain will go away but it is persisting and I think that really frustrates me and heads me back into the habit of thinking it is structural and trying to find stretches that might help it get better. So it's like I completely forgot everything I've done. So I have these really high expectations of what being aware of my emotions will do to my body; i.e make the pain go away, and when this doesn't happen it makes me feel more worried/ concerned; as though I'm not getting better so I'll never get better at all.

I'm afraid I won't get better at all, because it's relapsed- and I'm trying to figure out what the issue is, and I don't know. I think it's the election, honestly, and the fact that I have no time to sit down and think about it, and also the fact that because i am a minority where I am I suddenly feel hyperaware of that, and a sense of alone-ness and fear to talk about it or show my feelings of sadness. It's horrible. But I don't know what to do.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Cookie. It's very common to have a relapse or setback in TMS healing. You were under a lot of new stress at work and those long hours very likely was hard on your body and emotions. It has made you question TMS, but since you noticed improvement before that work marathon, it should remind you that TMS works.

And, too, the election. That put millions of people all around the world anxious and fearful. Now that Trump has won, those feelings remain and may even have gotten worse for most people, me included. I try not to worry about it or watch the news. Many believe things will be okay. I have to believe that. It does no good to worry about the future. Just live in the present and take one day of your life at a time. And think positive!