I thought I'd share my recent experience of a severe TMS relapse in hopes that what I have to share may help someone else going through something similar. I recovered a few years ago from fibromyalgia, migraines, and a host of other TMS symptoms. Since my recovery I have occasionally had a relapse of fibromyalgia pain, though I am usually able to identify it as TMS quickly, find the trigger, and get back to pain free within a few days. A few weeks ago I started having a severe flare-up of pain and insomnia. I knew right away that it was TMS, but I couldn't figure out the trigger. I am retired, have no complicated relationships in my life, and generally lead a pretty low-stress life. I searched and searched for a possible trigger and couldn't identify anything out of the ordinary that had happened that might have triggered this relapse. So I decided I needed to start journaling, and by the second day I had figured it out. I had received a letter recently from my primary care physician of 6 years that he was retiring at the end of the month. The letter stated that I would need to find a new doctor by then, and if I hadn't identified anyone by then, they would send all my records to Dr. X and I could see her when needed. This occurrence is nothing unusual or out of the ordinary for most people, but I knew this was what triggered my relapse. My TMS symptoms immediately started to disappear once I had this realization. As is the case for many of us TMSers, I had a very dysfunctional childhood and have a high ACE score (6). I have done a lot of exploration of these issues and know I have major issues with attachment and fears of abandonment related to my early childhood. I realized that my unconscious had interpreted my doctor's letter as abandonment, which raised all my alarm signals, and which I immediately repressed. Hence, my not having a clue why I was having a relapse. I am reading Dr. Schubiner's and Dr. Abbass' book for TMS practitioners called Hidden from View. There is a section about the psychological phenomenon of transference. I quote "The complex feelings related to attachment trauma are triggered in a person's current relationships, especially in relationship to healthcare professionals. Why? As a healthcare provider, you are a caring person, offering a potential attachment and expressing positive regard for your patient. You, looking into her eyes, remind her of her early attachments and the feelings about the ultimate fate of those attachments." I was shocked to learn the truth and power of this phenomenon. I only met with my doctor for 10-15 minutes a couple of times of year. He was my age, and didn't even wear a white coat. But I realize that those 15 minutes are the only time in my life when someone is focused solely on my concerns and needs. I have quality friendships and close family, but those relationships are all reciprocal. The relationship with a healthcare provider or therapist is uniquely different, as it mimics very early childhood in that it is a one-way relationship, and is therefore set up for transference to occur. So what I learned from this experience and hope to pass on is: If you are having difficulty finding the psychological trigger for your current TMS, it may be something that is quite ordinary and benign to most people, but could set off alarm bells in your unconscious if you are someone with a traumatic and dysfunctional childhood Transference is a very real phenomenon that can occur with anyone you perceive in a position of authority who exhibits a caring manner Despite all my knowledge of TMS and all the work I have done to uncover my psychological issues, I can still be surprised by the repressed material that is going on in my unconscious So this experience has been rather humbling for me. Because I learned repression at a very young age, I am very skilled at hiding things from myself and others. But I am so very grateful to have the knowledge and the tools to ultimately uncover these issues that are hidden from view and get back to a pain-free state.