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Rebuilding confidence in work, life, etc.

Discussion in 'General Discussion Subforum' started by AC45, Apr 13, 2017.

  1. AC45

    AC45 Well known member

    Hello Fellow TMSers,

    First of all, I really appreciate you!

    I am having a bit of a crisis in confidence. I used to see myself as a strong, confident person who was not afraid of work, challenges or life.

    Then, one year ago, I was hit with hand pain and anxiety. Thanks to Dr. Sarno's teachings and lots of other books, I am much better. I do still struggle with insomnia.

    I know in my heart of hearts that I can work and be just fine. I've kept my job throughout this process. It has been hard but also meaningful.

    TMS in the form of hand pain, anxiety and insomnia brought me to my knees. I am physically better but I haven't regained my confidence that I know is really there beneath the surface.

    Claire Weeks' writings have helped. If you have any good confidence boosters that have helped you, I'd love to hear about them. I just read "You can heal your life" by Louise Hay. That was helpful.

  2. Ines

    Ines Well known member

    Hi AC45,

    That's a good question and something all of us go through. I was always someone people could count on and not knowing when a migraine would hit made me really depressed.
    Well.. it's a tough question to answer because this really horrible thing happened to you that you now live/lived with and somehow you have to make a living and get on with life. The people on this forum helped me in this area by saying that you shouldn't judge your pain or your progress and to love yourself.
    I'm reading Self Compassion by Kristen Neff and that has been helping A LOT. I didn't really understand what they meant until I read that book. Since we're all goodists most of us don't have self compassion. We put ourselves last or have an inner bully or low self esteem. This book is great because there are exercises at the end of every chapter and I've actually incorporated them and it's really working.

    For example, I woke up at 2am with a left sided migraine. Wasn't too bad but was uncomfortable enough that I needed to get up and get ice. Then came the anxiety. Instead of reaching for the pills right away I said "Brain, we're safe, you're feeling this pain because .. insert your stress unconscious thoughts here... Then, like the book says, I soothed myself. "You poor darling, look what happened this week. You dealt with A B & C all while this and that was happened.. on and on.. and like other's have said I imagined myself out of my body and started petting my hair and saying you're going to be ok. Just like you would to your friend or child.
    Then, I took my mind off the pain and played games on my phone. Then, I watched Friends. It went away with no meds. But for a long time I would beat myself up for needing meds.
    I think to gain confidence that it will work you just have to be patient and know that if you stick with it eventually your life will get better and one day you'll look back and think "remember when I would panic because I didn't sleep and know I'd have a busy day?"
    Reading success stories helps too.

    PainNoMore, MWsunin12 and AC45 like this.
  3. AC45

    AC45 Well known member

    Hi Ines,

    Thanks so much for taking the time to write such a sincere and helpful response!


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