Really upset

Hen

Hen

Peer Supporter
Yesterday I finished the SEP. Today Im in pain. New pain, more pain. I started a part time job last night that I know I am quitting today and I feel terrible about it but the job is clearly not going to work out for me and the thought of going back there is making me really anxious. I came home last night and tried so hard to calm myself down-self talk and self soothing. I had taken a walk earlier yesterday without hardly any pain and I stretched and foam rolled my glutes because they are now hurting. Did I do too much activity? I feel like I"m right back at the very beginning with doubts about what is wrong with me? I am scared that I'm getting worse and or not going to get better.

I want this to stop. I know its not that easy. Its been 4 months and yes i know that isn't nearly as long as many have suffered. I'm not trying to compare though. Does anyone have a similar experience? Could this hideous heavy and hurts to touch pain in my legs (basically all over) be extinction burst? I have horrific PMS and feel totally crazy.

I don't know what to do anymore? I don't want to go to doctors. I don't want to think clean. I just want it to fucking stop.

End rant.
 
Hen said:
Yesterday I finished the SEP. Today Im in pain. New pain, more pain. I started a part time job last night that I know I am quitting today and I feel terrible about it but the job is clearly not going to work out for me and the thought of going back there is making me really anxious. I came home last night and tried so hard to calm myself down-self talk and self soothing. I had taken a walk earlier yesterday without hardly any pain and I stretched and foam rolled my glutes because they are now hurting. Did I do too much activity? I feel like I"m right back at the very beginning with doubts about what is wrong with me? I am scared that I'm getting worse and or not going to get better.

I want this to stop. I know its not that easy. Its been 4 months and yes i know that isn't nearly as long as many have suffered. I'm not trying to compare though. Does anyone have a similar experience? Could this hideous heavy and hurts to touch pain in my legs (basically all over) be extinction burst? I have horrific PMS and feel totally crazy.

I don't know what to do anymore? I don't want to go to doctors. I don't want to think clean. I just want it to fucking stop.

End rant.
Click to expand...

Hi Hen,

I'm really really sorry to read this. It makes me sad to know you are in so much pain and suffering.

I'm sorry the job not working out, all I can say is be true to your heart. This may not be the one and something better definitely awaits you. Please don't beat yourself up over it.

I've had similar burst as I've been working through the process, it's the minds clever strategy to keep us occupied with the physical rather than the emotional.

For what it's worth, you've completed 40 days of the program which is a huge achievement. So although you may feel you've gotten nowhere, you are 40 days closer to being a success story.

I know this all seems very overwhelming, trust me, I've been there, but try and do something you really love. Just forget about the pain if you can, watch a funny movie, or visit a comedy club. It will help you relax and refocus.

You can do this, just be strong. We are all here to support and guide you. Be strong my friend.
 
Having a good cry. I feel better having quit the job. I have a full time job as well. Having extra money isn't that damn important.

Can you please describe your "burst"? I need confirmation that this isn't something that does needs a doctors care.

Thank you.
 
Hen, you did yourself a big favor by quitting the second job. I worked two jobs once that nearly killed me. I loved the extra money and thought I could handle the stress, but it took its toll on me. I quit one of them and felt better immediately. Spend the new spare time in meditating and doing things that make you happy. Or just do nothing but breathe deeply and enjoy the profound relaxation that brings.

Try not to search for possible structural causes of any pain. If you ask a doctor about them, you may get his or her belief there is something structural and get some medication that could be useless or harmful. The "burst" that is needed is an increase of belief in TMS. Have a happy day!
 
Dear Hen,
Good for you for having the courage to quit the job you felt was healthy for you. I find that any stressful situation is likely to bring on TMS, so I've learned to speak pretty strongly to my subC, and inform it that I realize what it's up to!
I hope you're feeling cleansed after the cry. Sending you light and blessings for healing.
 
Nice rant, nothing wrong with quitting a job that you know isn't going to work. As an employer myself I appreciate if a new hire is straight-up about it and I have no qualms about cutting a new hire loose if it's obvious it's a bad mix. Your increase in pain is very likely due to your stress over it. TMS is the volume control for the pain.
 
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