Really need advice

Hi all,
I am really looking for some advice and support right now. I have been on the TMS journey about 3 weeks...I had a few days of very decreased pain and was so encouraged, then began to have even worse symptoms, this is somewhat embarrassing but I have no shame and have read a few other stories of people experiencing the same type of spasms "down there". I was getting these a bit before beginning TMS but now they are SO much worse, I can hardly sit and it is unrelenting at night keeping me from sleeping and I am honestly going a little nuts over it and its driving me crazy! I know this is the worse thing I could do but its so hard to ignore especially when it keeps me up at night, i was sleeping fine before this happened. Its like TMS is saying I know you were ignoring me, now im going to make sure you cant! I have begun using valium suppositories and they help at night but am i reinforcing this to my brain? Another question is does this sound like symptom imperative even though I had this a bit before TMS just on a much MUCH lesser scale? Or perhaps symptom extinction? Is it normal to get so much worse before it gets better? Sorry for all the questions but I could really use some advice and motivation.
Thank you!

 

Hello Irosied,
It sounds like what you are going through is very frustrating, to say the least. My first question is do you have any doubt that this symptom it TMS or equivalent? Those doubts, I've had them too, are the hardest thing to overcome... since every one's journey is different, it's hard to say what the best route is as far as using medication at night to alleviate the symptoms. I've been on the program since December 28 and there was a time last month where I was hesitant to use Advil for menstrual cramps because I was afraid medication to any degree would derail my progress. I have been suffering from constant head and neck pain and in the past couple days have also experienced a relapse in pain after making great progress for weeks. I feel as though this is part of the process. That more work needs to be done. I would advise you to be sure to do the journal work, perhaps a therapist? Posting here is also a good step. I believe you can get through this. There is hope, try not to put too much pressure on yourself. Self compassion and patience is so important. As difficult as it is. I believe it is the difficult things we go through that will give us improvements. Our brains will let go. Don't fight it, work with it. I wish you the best, remember you are strong and can do it!

 

Thanks for your reply Juno! I honestly believe 100% it is TMS...I saw a TMS Dr. and was diagnosed so that definitely helped. I also will be speaking with a TMS therapist next week. I have been journaling, reading, coming on the forum, doing meditation, all of it! I sometimes feel like I am doing TOO much and just need to relax and let it be but for my impatient, fear driven personality, it is extremely difficult. I had a baby in July and had an episiotomy and it seems TMS knows this is the site of my most recent injury and has directly targeted it to throw me off and scare me! We have a family vacation coming up in a couple of weeks and I think its really affecting me, I am putting so much pressure on myself to feel great for the trip so I can enjoy my time with family and my new baby. I want to so badly that its like my body is fighting back. I am just feeling very defeated and find it so hard to remain hopeful. Thanks so much for your positivity! It is much appreciated.

 

You are not alone! I also became very eager to feel better and that was keeping me from feeling better. It's super hard, but I tried to let it go. I spent more days taking breaks and doing other stuff. I also have a trip coming up and I'm excited to go. I'm not going to let my pain be a factor. Scratch that, I'm not going to let my FEAR be a factor. There was a line in one of the books I think that said something along the line of "what would I like to do if I wasn't in pain?" I think about that and I just go do it. And I'm always ok. It can still hurt. But when I think of my own mortality, it motivates me to go experience my life. It has worked so far.
You've mentioned that you think you are working too hard. Maybe you are. Working too hard keeps you focused on the problem. You know you better than anyone else. The journey of self discovery is messy one.

 

There's nothing wrong with taking meds or what-ever works so you can function and be able to focus on the TMS mind work.

You may want to check with your doc about this recently rediscovered med if the one you're using is not effective enough for symptomatic pain relief:

https://myhealth.alberta.ca/Health/medications/Pages/conditions.aspx?hwid=fdb6241 (Diclofenac Suppository - Rectal)