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Really having a hard time, urinary urgency.

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by Leslie735, Jun 5, 2014.

  1. Leslie735

    Leslie735 Well known member

    I've posted in the past about this but lately I'm just really struggling with staying on the TMS course. I first discovered TMS back in March while googling about my symptoms, urinary urgency. Just a brief description incase you haven't read my past threads. Back in December this began out of the blue, literally. One evening after having a girls night with one my good friends I came home and used the restroom and immediately felt like I was getting a UTI (I've had a few in my past) I wasn't happy but didn't think much of it. Called my doctor, went in and the test (in office dip test) was negative but she gave me antibiotics anyway. I felt a little better but the urgency remained. At first it was daily. I started googling and read about interstitial cystitis and got so scared it was unbelievable. I went into a total anxiety panic depressed mode. I totally missed Christmas because I was consumed with anxiety. After New Years the symptoms reduced to just on and off, every few days. Finally I decided enough was enough, I went to see a uro gynecologist who did a pelvic exam, took urine by cath. and talked to me. Nothing was discovered and she told me she didnt' think it was IC based on my symptoms. She sent me on my way and told me to come back in a month if the symptoms persisted for further tests but she didn't think they were necessary. I never went back. About a month later is when I discovered TMS through googling. I immediately started the 42 day program. I'm about 3 weeks into it right now. I'm not the best about journaling everyday, at all. I need to get back into it considering it's June and I started at the end of March. I found a few emotions that I carry with me but I thin majority of my problem is anxiety and stress. Even my husband says I tend to be too hard on my self. I'm in school full time working on my bachelors, I work (from home) full time, and I have 2 kids of my own. So I'm a bit overwhelmed and stressed but I think anxiety is my main issue. I have anxiety over just about everything. I think I have a vomiting phobia, I've had several health anxieties in my past, when I go out in public I fear I'm going to get sick somehow. I also am a "goodiest" I let people walk all over me because I REALLY dislike having people mad at me. I bend over backwards for friends and family when I dont' even want to. The only person I can be completely honest with is my husband. Anyway, my urgency is on and off. I can 100% fine for days, then have a day of problems. Yesterday for example, I woke up feeling fine, no issues at all. Mid afternoon I went to use the restroom and came out with the feeling of still needing to go. I tried to ignore it and not worry about it and it faded away. Right around dinnertime it came back after using the restroom again, by the time I went again it had faded away. I was also having this mild pelvic left sided pain, left (TMI) of my vagina. I've gone up to a week almost 2 without having the urgency before. I'm pretty sure I'm either feeling it in the bottom part of my bladder or urethra, can't really tell. It almost feels like, after I use the restroom, if I could just go back in and pee out a little bit more it would subside. I've been following the IC diet (bladder diet) not strictly but I have cut out tomatos. I did cut out chocolate for a while but lately I've been eating that again. I got brave Tuesday night and ate a slice of pizza that had tomato sauce and then the urgency happened Wednesday, I can't help but blame that. I know for the TMS program to work you have to believe fully it's TMS and I think that is where I'm struggling. So much info out there about TMS focuses on back pain. While I have had lower back pain my life, it's not consistent. I just "tweak" my back every couple years. Not sure if that is TMS related or not. This urinary thing is consuming my life. It's on my mind all.the.time. I rarely get completely distracted from it. I worry about it all the time. I fully believe if this could go away and I go back to feeling normal my anxiety would die down a lot. Can someone offer advice, help anything? I'm so tired of feeling this way.


    Thank you!!!! Have a blessed day!


    ps I am in the middle of reading Sarnos Mind, Body, Prescription as well.
     
    North Star likes this.
  2. Tennis Tom

    Tennis Tom Beloved Grand Eagle

    Leslie, I believe I replied to your issue a while back when you first posted about it. Was that at all helpful? If you don't recall, you may want to do a search. As far as the emphasis on "back TMS", it's natural since Dr. Sarno was a rehab specialist and at that time "bad backs" were the collective mind's symptom in vogue, as ulcers had been previously. Most everyone feels there is not enough written on their personal pain issue, I know I think he should have written a whole book on hippies. Since the early TMS days, the Good Doctor's has evolved and expanded on his TMS theory and written three more books including most every body and mind part susceptible.If you look at my sig below you'll see his feelings on it.
    G'luck!
     
  3. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Leslie. You've had the medical check-ups and nothing bad was found, so it sure looks to me like your anxiety and urinary problems are TMS.
    You have a lot on your plate with the kids, job, and working on your degree. Any one of those could cause your problems, but together they could really cause them.

    Have you tried some TMS healing techniques to calm your anxiety which may well cause your urinary problems?
    I suggest deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness (living in the present moment) rather than have all three major stresses
    going on in your head at the same time. Try focusing on just one of them at a time. Or just tell yourself "I'm relaxing now, not letting anxious thoughts enter my mind. Tell yourself what you're doing... "I'm washing the dishes now." "I'm doing the laundry now." "I'm just sitting quietly with a cup of tea now." If other thoughts come in your head, push them out by saying again what you're doing in the moment.

    I'm going to post a new thread in the Mindbody Video Library about something I just learned today about how to live in the present moment.
    I
     
  4. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Leslie, You have to become outcome independent. That means whether you are having this feeling or not -- you are not going to spend your day worrying about it. It's the anxiety and fear you feed that gives you more anxiety fear and pain. You need know that you have the power over your thoughts, you don't have to worry when you think something is wrong, just go about your day as if all is well and soon when you loose the focus and fear that is creating this pain -- you will heal.
    You are giving your negative thoughts to much power, relax and meditate, journal about your worries and then re-frame your thoughts to better things like how the spring time is such a beautiful time of the year and how you have the power in your mind to focus on wholesome, happy thoughts of yourself healed. Act as if all is well even when its not and soon you will thank us all.

    P.S. Stop being self conscious, every time you worry about anything you just feed the pain ok. Go and learn to live life fear free.

    Here are some audios by Claire Weekes that should help you - You have to desensitize yourself ok. It's reconditioning.

    These audio recordings of Claire Weekes have gotten me through a lot


    Part 1

    http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover1.mp3

    Part 2

    http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover2.mp3

    Part 3

    http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover3.mp3

    Part 4

    http://www.junior-anxiety-depression-exchange.org.uk/media/relaxation2/How-To-Recover4.mp3

    Also remember what Abraham Lowe said

    If you can't change a situation you can change your attitude towards it...
    Be self‐led, not symptom‐led. …..……………………………………
    Nervous symptoms and sensations are distressing but not dangerous…….….
    Comfort is a want, not a need. ………………………………..…………
    Calm begets calm, temper begets temper………………………
    Don't take our own dear selves too seriously………………………………
    Helplessness is not hopelessness………………………..
    Some people have a passion for self‐distrust…….………….
    Temper maintains and intensifies symptoms……………… Eric Watsons quote) - And so does worry
    Do things in part acts……………………………
    Have the courage to make a mistake……………
    Feelings are not facts………………
     
  5. Leslie735

    Leslie735 Well known member

    Thank you all for your replies. I don't know why I let the fear get in my mind so often. I guess it's my subconscious trying to keep it there perhaps? Its not everyday but a lot of days it is. Some days I'm actually quite happy and positive. I don't know. Thank you for the audio links Eric I will try and listen to those. Thank you! :)

    Walt: I have tried some relaxation techniques, deep breathing, telling myself to relax, changing my focus etc. The problem is, as soon as the "urge" hits I'm consumed with anxiety. How do I keep my anxiety down when symptoms are present? It's SO hard for me!
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  6. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    Leslie735, listen to the Claire Weekes Audios, she will tell you how to face the anxiety and how to float through it with no fear. You just have to learn her methods. It will really change your outlook.
    Bless You

    P.S. Have you done the Tms Recovery Program or the SEP program we have here. If not it would be a huge leap for you to do so - :)
     
  7. Stella

    Stella Well known member

    Hi Leslie,
    I have had debilitating Interstitial Cystitis for 2 years, pelvic pain, abdominal cramping, all pelvic floor cramping, urinary urgency and numerous UTIs. It is all TMS. I worked the 42 day Structured Education Program. I still have numerous symptoms but all manageable using the tools: journaling, meditation, physical activity, affirmations and understanding how my personality traits drive my symptoms.. I still periodically have urinary urgency along with other symptoms moving around. They are all warning bells to work my program. You can do it too.
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  8. Leslie735

    Leslie735 Well known member

    Eric: Yes, I have been working in the SEP program. I'm about 19 days in right now. I don't do it everyday, like I should, but every few.

    Stella: Were you actually diagnosed by a medical doctor with IC? Since beginning the SEP program how much better are you? Do you feel good more days than bad now? I'm just curious to see how well it is working. Thank you!!!
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  9. Anne Walker

    Anne Walker Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi Leslie,

    I may have written to you before as well. All the symptoms you describe I have had exactly. I had it similar to you off and on for several years and then I developed other chronic pain conditions. When I started working on my TMS over a year ago the urinary urgency came back with a vengeance when my symptoms started moving around. Last year on my birthday it was so bad I had to cancel my birthday week-end vacation. I rarely get any of these symptoms anymore and when they do come they are pretty mild and don't last too long. I have also suffered from a lot of anxiety which I think you will discover as you work on the TMS is not the cause of symptoms but serves the same purpose as your pain. For a while when I wasn't in pain, I had high anxiety and visa versa. My anxiety is MUCH better now as well. If I were you, I would dive into treating this as TMS. Be persistent and patient and it will get better.
     
  10. Leslie735

    Leslie735 Well known member

    Thank you for your reply Anne! I do remember you writing me before. It's really encouraging to read positive stories. Thank you!:)
     
  11. Stella

    Stella Well known member

    The Uro-gynecoligist that diagnosed me is one of the best in the United States specializing in IC. I moved my parents to my hometown 5 years ago. I didn't know anything about TMS but my personality traits kicked in. My Father was very ill with diabetes and kidney failure. I am compulsively dutiful. I could not say "No." I had to be in control to make sure everything was done "perfectly." If I just was perfect, good enough and tried hard maybe my Mother would wrap me in her arms and tell me how much she loved me.

    As Dr. Gabor Mate' says when you can't say NO your body says NO for you. I couldn't say No. I couldn't express healthy disagreement and I could not express healthy anger. 2 months before my good friend told me her daughter had IC. She planted that seed in my mind. As Dr. Sarno says that symptoms start occurring for illnesses that are in vogue at the time. My Uro-gyno has trippled his practice for all the women and men that now have IC and pelvic pain. I had numerous UTIs and constant urinary urgency. When I "see" or hear people showing disappointment in me I start having various symptoms.

    Several months ago I had terrible lower pelvic pain. It scared me to death that the IC was coming back. I talked to myself. Stella, you know this is TMS... just work your program. And I did and it went away.

    I can do it and you can do this too, Leslie.
     
  12. Leslie735

    Leslie735 Well known member

    Thank you for your response Stella!!!
     
  13. Sheree

    Sheree Well known member

    Hi Leslie, I can relate SO much to what you are saying and am convinced it is all down to anxiety. My current problem is my back, but I had something similar to you 10 years ago. At the time I had no knowledge of TMS, but looking back I am convinced it was all caused by the fear and anxiety. Funnily enough, it started with a bad stomach ache that would not go away. My doctor sent me for an ultra sound and that is when it all kicked off. I did not have too much of urinary urgency, but a horrible pain in the lower pelvic region. I could never locate exactly where it was, no doctors could understand what was wrong with me, but the worry caused me to feel so ill, I really believed that I was dying! I even had to come home from holiday once midway as I felt so dreadful. I started to not be able to eat and the weight fell off me. I was absolutely certain that I was very, very ill. I tell you all this, because I got better and it is proof to me that anxiety can cause all those symptoms. It is this knowledge ( plus all the stories on this site) that makes me believe that I will recover again from my current pains. It is not easy, and it is taking me a long, long time, but hopefully I will get there. Good
     
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  14. Sheree

    Sheree Well known member

    The end of my message was supposed to read GOOD LUCK!!
     
  15. Walt Oleksy

    Walt Oleksy Beloved Grand Eagle

    Hi, Leslie. You sure went through a lot of worry about pain in your pelvic region.
    Yes, we can worry ourselves into believing the worst. We just have to believe it is just
    not real and the worst is not going to happen. It rarely does. Think happy instead.
     
  16. Leslie735

    Leslie735 Well known member

    Thank you all for your replies, it means a lot to me. I'm trying to be positive, but some days I really struggle. The last few days has been full of urgency. Not sure why? It's just taking over and I'm almost feel depressed over it. :(
     
  17. North Star

    North Star Beloved Grand Eagle

    Leslie, I just came in from a walk and listening to Lissa Rankin's book, Mind Over Medicine. She's a MD and one of my new favorite people. Between her and Dr. Howard Schubiner, I am becoming aware of how many LIES I have believed about my health. Here's a little sample of things I've been told:

    "I always knew you would be the one with health issues, " my mom.
    "You have shit for a back," my GP several years ago.
    "Car accident injuries come back to haunt you later as you age," my PT.
    "This is as good as it's going to get," a MD commenting on a skin issue.
    "You have fibromyalgia," my MD.

    Lies, lies, lies!!! Please note, I'm NOT calling these people liars. These are all well-intended people merely spouting the structural model of medicine.

    I have had to be very aggressive and intentional in RETRAINING my brain. Dr. Schubiner talks about this in his 28-day program. You retrain a different part of your brain which in turn quiets the pain centers in the brain.

    What does this look like? Many time throughout the day, I am listening to healing books and repeating aloud statements that resonant with me. I carry a laminated card in my pocket with affirmations to speak aloud when I am experiencing a TMS symptom. (And trust me, I've had a LOT of them…including some UTI's a few years ago.)

    I'll say thinks like, "I have a strong body. I have TMS and I am healing. My body is made to heal. I have a strong back. And so on…"

    I also practice gratitude. When something is aching, frequently, it is my achilles, I will massage it with a nice lotion and thank my body for healing. And thank it for the many miles we've explored.

    This proactive approach seems to be helping but I will say…I have been at this for several months now. It is very much a journey.

    The fact that you got a clean bill of health from your doc is a great place to start speaking aloud something like, "I am so grateful that there is nothing wrong with me. My bladder is affected by TMS and this is totally benign and I will heal from it." Or something of the sort. :)

    Hang in there! You're already doing just great - you just don't see it yet.

    Hugs,
    NS
     
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  18. Leslie735

    Leslie735 Well known member

    Thank you NS! :)
     
    North Star likes this.
  19. North Star

    North Star Beloved Grand Eagle

    You're welcome NS. Hey, you may want to listen in on tonight's phone call . See the info at the top of the home page for the forum. Friendly, encouraging discussion!
     
    Eric "Herbie" Watson likes this.
  20. pilatesgirl

    pilatesgirl Peer Supporter

    Hi Leslie,
    I have been dealing with vulvodynia for 2 years and I am new to the program. During the past two years I saw two of the best pelvic floor physical therapists in (probably) the world. During one of my appointments I was experiencing some urinary urgency and I was distraught about this new and difficult symptom. The pelvic floor physical therapist I was seeing at the time (remember one of the best) said urinary urgency is a state of mind, nothing more.

    Within two days the urinary urgency was gone. In other words because of what the PT said I no longer worried and it vanished. I don't know if this is helpful for you but knowing that a PT agreed it was a mind/body symptom says quite a lot.

    Good luck to you. I understand how you feel.

    Xo,
    pilatesgirl
     

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