Ready to give up

[Miller]

On life, on myself, on TMS healing which has brought me more confusion and pain than anything.

I know I’m the exception but I can’t get my head around this stuff and my symptoms / anxiety are becoming too much to live with.

Endlessly trying to work out what is going on, reading forums, worrying about my health is overtaking my life and has done for the last 5 years since the day I found out about “TMS”.

I have a complicated emotional life and history which probably has sent me in the wrong direction with healing as I keep going over and over past events, wondering how/why this all started.

I have listened to Claire Weekes lately and it sounds totally at odds with the TMS approach - she is saying stop analysing your symptoms and the reasons for them. Whereas the TMS approach advocates looking for the emotional reasons for your symptoms? So which is it?

I have been diagnosed with OCD which means I’m probably massively overthinking this as I can’t cope with uncertainty. But I really need to draw a line in the sand here.

I guess I’m desperate and asking for someone to help me because I can’t carry on much longer.

 

[Miller]

@RogueWave @Hillbilly @Dorado @steveo

 

[Fal]

The problem is you are thinking about whatever issue you are having, reading forums and worrying about your health. I know how that feels i was there once, every single symptom you will search will tell you the worst case scenario feeding that health anxiety.

You need to focus on the emotional aspect, go through the SEP and Alan Gordons program, read Sarnos books and when you finish do it again. You are waking up thinking about your health and that is the problem, you need to get on with life as if nothing was happening because right now you are just making yourself worse.

Delete any apps you use to browse like Reddit etc or any easy access websites that is feeding it. The only forum you need to read and help is this one.

 

[MariaK]

I'm so sorry you're suffering so much. If you really are serious about giving up on life, you have to reach out to a therapist or local crisis line. You actually know a lot of what is causing the problem-your thinking about it. So, trust your instincts on that. I would just take a break from thinking about it and reading about it for a little while. For me, even reading this forum can exacerbate symptoms. And I don't just mean I start feeling other people's symptoms just reading them in the subject line. But just reading about how to heal in general. I wouldn't even do the emotional work for a bit. Just take a break.

TMS is a frustrating syndrome. But you know you have it-so you have some hope to hang onto, in that you're part of the way there!

Re: Claire Weeks. I find it is a balance of thinking about it and not thinking about it. When you don't think about it, insight and information bubble to the surface that you have to think about. But I wouldn't have a clue right now how to explain how to strike that balance.

You just have to get through today, not all the other days. One day at a time or one hour at a time. And have compassion for yourself and your suffering.

 

[Ellen]

The best thing I found when I felt like giving up was listening over and over to the audio version of Healing Back Pain. Dr. Sarno narrates it himself, and there is something about his voice that I found soothing and reassuring. If back pain is not your issue, just substitute that term with TMS, as it is all the same.

 

[Miller]

Thanks for the replies. I don’t want to seem like I’m not grateful I’m just so tired of it all and don’t know how to get back to feeling “myself” again. I am so lost. I could deal with just dizziness or pain or anxiety or ocd but ALL OF THEM at the same time is just… soul destroying.

I am sick of my life but ending my life is not an option because I have a 15month old daughter to live for. I just want to feel better.