Day 1 Ready to face the fears

[Overthinker]

This has been a long time coming for me. 13 years. Ive been avoiding the emotional and focusing on the physical, always knowing deep down that I was just still in fear state and avoiding what I needed most. Truthfully it was easier to deal with physical symptoms for all that time than face the fears that created them. I have been struggling with a long and evolving list of symptoms for 13years but most likely much longer if I really think about it.

• Vomiting due to nervousness
• GERD
• Back pain
• Groin pain
• Pelvic pain and pressure
• Bladder frequency & urgency
• Digestive issues
• Leg and foot pain
• Numb feet
• Elbow pain
• Numbess in arms and fingers
• Dry scalp
• Anxiety
• Tinnitus
• Eye twitching
• Cancer

Symptoms move around and come and go. The bladder and pelvic symptoms bother me the most. They are the most deep seated and longest lasting, I get seldom periods where I am not aware of this discomfort.

I see myself in so many of these other stories. I fit the personality type and I guess I am classic TMS type of overthinker, compulsive and a perfectionist.

I'm confident that I have TMS. My physical symptoms started during a very stressful time and a 3 day panic attack. I'm confident i am in the right place and in the right mind frame to work through the emotions I buried away.

I'm worried that although I believe in the diagnosis that I wont have the courage or will power to see this through. I'm also worried that if do see this through and do the work that physical symptoms will remain. But I guess that is the TMS hard at work!

Best of luck on your journeys.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Hi Overthinker,

Welcome to the Forum and the SEP

Truthfully it was easier to deal with physical symptoms for all that time than face the fears that created them.

This is an important acknowledgement, and not an easy one for the mind to grasp: that we'd "rather" be in symptoms and the fear and fixing of symptoms than actually feel more down deep. So I congratulate you on this understanding, and I think you'll find this supportive for your journey.

You clearly have a good list of supporting items about why you're sure you have TMS. You might list these and keep the list handy, add to the list as you go along, review the list. As doubts come up, this can be good.

I'm worried that although I believe in the diagnosis that I wont have the courage or will power to see this through.

I am sorry about this doubt, but I think this doubt is common and natural for most. I suggest you make room for this, and be kind to yourself about it. Truth is, if you're motivated to reduce symptoms, you'll stick with it for as much as you need.

I'm also worried that if do see this through and do the work that physical symptoms will remain.

One suggestion here is, and I know it is not easy to take this on board at this stage ---do the work of self-learning for the sake of reducing psychological suffering and confusion, for the sake of understanding and self-compassion, more than for the reason to rid yourself of symptoms. If you do the basic work, and you're consciously connecting this work ---feeling more, being truthful to yourself about your feelings, trying to me more kind to yourself, learning mindfulness, reassuring yourself, perhaps speaking your truth to others, understanding your personality, and its fears, etc ---and connecting this deep learning to Dr. Sarno's theories about how what you're seeing can be the cause of symptoms, then the work will basically do itself. Take confidence.

And give yourself big credit for taking this journey of seeing more about yourself. Most of us don't want to do this work. And yet... it is this brave work which can give us a certain deep satisfaction, and more capacity for living life.

Andy

 

[Overthinker]

Thanks Andy for the support.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

You're welcome!