Today I was reading The Divided Mind. This is an extract that talked to me a lot, from Adrea Leonard-Segal’s chapter : « Getting better from TMS is learning how to extract yourself from needing recognition from others and learning to parent yourself in perhaps a kinder, gentler, and more benevolent way than one may have actually experienced during childhood. (…) It is learning that if someone seems upset with you, this feeling is often displaced and you are not in fault. It is learning that it is even okay if someone does get angry with you. It is learning not to be afraid to take care of yourself psychologically, to say « no » when you want and « yes » when you want to. It is about learning that almost all of the time that you feel guilty, it is inapprobriate, in that you cannot be responsible for taking care of everyone’s feeling. » This is me. I didn’t really find myself in Sarno’s descrition of goodist or perfectionnist (maybe because I feel like I’m never doing enough ?) but this right here, it is me. And also this : « The TMS patient is the former child who learned that speaking up might aggravate the frazzled adult in his life, who might get angry : this was scary. » This is my entiere childhood and teens in one sentence. My dad was (still is) a coleric, sad and tired man. I learned to be very silent, to never disrupt him, to do every thing I could to calm him. Even when I felt he was wrong, even cruel. Anyway, this give me things to reflect. A good night to all of you !