Re-Inventing History

Being a writer and story-crafter by nature, it seemed like I should be able to 'imagine' a new storyline for myself that would work. Yet, eventually, the stories I tried would die from lack of 'logic' and too much complication.

Just over a week ago, after viewing the very cute movie "The Duff", I felt an idea stirring. The movie itself wasn't particularly relevant to me, as I never was in that kind of situation, but her attitude was relevant. And her courage.

I chose to start just before 'the man' came into my life. The premise of the story was my death 'now', but I am sent back, knowing everything I have learned in my life. And thus the story began. Hours and hours and hours, have been involved.

The details are far too involved to relate here (though I have considered writing this as a story!). Suffice to say, 'the man' became a real father-figure. My actions, my words, my LOVE ... preempted the behaviors that 'in real life' destroyed me. He became my friend, my teacher, my protector. He was still an alcoholic, but he did not drink.

It wasn't an easy story, by any means. I dredged up so many things so that I could catch them before they could happen. It involved relationships with my biological father, as well as other family members.

As of two days ago, I have come to love him. Deeply. So much, that when there was a 'like' on one of my posts about what he did to me, I read the post and considered deleting it. I felt far away from it.

My new story, my dream story ... my monster becomes my hero. In another reality, it could have happened just this way.

Will this feeling last? I cannot answer that. I can only say that at this moment, I am filled with such warmth and peacefulness. And since Now is all that matters, all is good ^_^

.... with Love, Gratitude, and a deep sense of Whimsy

 

Hi, Lily Rose. That post was quite a ride. Not sure what to reply except that whatever works for you, works,
whether any of the man/father figure is real. I'm also a writer and must say you have a strong imagination, while you say you draw on your life experiences. This could be considered a form of journaling, I guess.
I hope it helps you with your TMS healing.

 

Hello, Beloved Grand Eagle ^_^
It helps because in these last two weeks, when I see his face in my mind, I do not see him as a monster. Rather, I can view him with compassion and Love. More than that, I was able to see that my beloved Mom did not have the most exemplary behavior through all this. But both of them were broken and hurt on so many levels. In many ways, my younger brother and I were collateral damage. By imagining what could have been, I can acknowledge that under other circumstances, he might have behaved in a completely different way.

Learning to Love the monster also opens the way further to loving myself.

I am Worthy. And I am Loved.
Just as You are Worthy, and YOU are Loved.
This is for everyone <3
... with Love and Gratitude

 

This is interesting, because when journalling in my mind, for more or less traumatic memories, I have a few times changed the course of events just before the bad thing would happen. Like imagining stopping a punch to my gut, not by fighting back, but by supernaturally stopping time by touching the perpetrator on the forehead, for example, and send him peace, and enveloping the whole scene with healing golden light. And variations of that. I'm not into journalling, really, but your post makes me wonder if I was on to something.

 

Yes! I do love to dabble in the supernatural aspects as well (though I didn't for this particular story). Rather like the Matrix scene where Neo holds out his palm in a stopping gesture, and the bullets .. stop. Or touching someone and healing Light floods them. In our thoughts, we are empowering ourselves. This will manifest into every cell in our body. So yes, you certainly are 'on to something'.

... with Love and Gratitude ^_^

 

It's nice to hear I'm not the only one using my imagination that way, haha. Right now I'm in the middle of going through Alan's new program, so I'm barely visualizing these days, as I want to concentrate on the techniques he writes about, day by day. Not sure if visualization is in the program, but once I've read all of it, I'm thinking of using visualization as one of my healing techniques, with more consistency than in the past. Probably with hefty amounts of the supernatural!

 

I've devoted hour upon hour nurturing my imaginative world. It's brought me much peace and joy, it's enabled me to play with different scenarios, different beginnings and endings, all manner of things. I've not tried to weave this magic in my actual life as you have done Lily Rose but I am inspired to do so. Not the least because in the early TMS years I may have accidentally re-written my story in a negative light (when journaling devolves into finding the pain grail) in my desperate hope of finding the answer.

You have inspired me, as is your wont. I like this very much.