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Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
Ratner
- Thread starter Sarah89
- Start date
Cactusflower
Beloved Grand Eagle
You can also purchase his columns workbook from his website.
Cactusflower
Beloved Grand Eagle
I have watched many of his videos, and he has just tried to rebrand what others do, because he sells a product. That doesn’t mean his methods don’t work for some, and that he has not been generous with his free content and advice, but there are other methods and there are completely free methods. Being confused about choosing a method is a TMS trap, and I believe it’s part of a perfectionistic personality.
One of the best things my TMS coach said to me was choose a method and follow it. Beginning to end. Put your heart into it, and stick with your choice. Making that choice is the first step to reclaiming your personal power from the physical and mental symptoms. I choose to do the SEP and found it overwhelming at first, but stuck to it. Then I did the Recovery Program.. I was having troubles being really vulnerable -anxiety was all encompassing.
After a break I went back to the SEP and did it slowly, doing a day’s lessons in two days to absorb it and using the last prompt (things to think about) as the 2nd day journaling prompt. When I would get stuck or feel unsupported, I did searches on this forum and found incredible amounts of great information from posts of years past.
Just make the choice and do it.
One of the best things my TMS coach said to me was choose a method and follow it. Beginning to end. Put your heart into it, and stick with your choice. Making that choice is the first step to reclaiming your personal power from the physical and mental symptoms. I choose to do the SEP and found it overwhelming at first, but stuck to it. Then I did the Recovery Program.. I was having troubles being really vulnerable -anxiety was all encompassing.
After a break I went back to the SEP and did it slowly, doing a day’s lessons in two days to absorb it and using the last prompt (things to think about) as the 2nd day journaling prompt. When I would get stuck or feel unsupported, I did searches on this forum and found incredible amounts of great information from posts of years past.
Just make the choice and do it.
I second all of @Cactusflower's advice above.
I've not tried the Ratner method, so it might be the quick, simple silver bullet that I gather from your postings on these forums you are seemingly continuing to search for... but I'm afraid I very much doubt it. Ratner's videos on YouTube go back to over 4 years ago, so I surmise that if his method were miraculously quick, simple and easy etc., then someone by now would have posted on these forums raving about it, saying how wonderful it is and that we all should try it because it's like waving a magic wand. His method may be good and helpful, but with TMS, with whatever method you choose to use, the reality check is that you have to put the work in. It's been said before on these forums: "the only way out is through".
So, start making arrangements to get another therapist. And for your anxiety read or better still imo listen to some Claire Weekes, regularly do some slow breathing, and I strongly suggest getting this book and regularly, throughout the day, doing the self-soothing methods in it; they are very simple, easy, quick and effective (if you get the Kindle version you can start doing them today) https://www.amazon.com/101-Ways-Find-Calm-soothe/dp/1991006039/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2KYGLKSDCUY8M&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.nQvKVY3J7E1HyxdewtJZ0TQ9GN5E0y_-KZx1ZzhXCVLRkcgdXhw1ojpCSXEz6xCRza2T8h2qZfmvwxTX8SzNap_ZdbcjRb-LaCtouG2fbJ2fnlno5VU3bpa0yt3pIxPEXTiHJ4WJcRUtG4GB8acvDtsSQIP2TZLVLAll77rAtfrVTlk_wSMlKja2OyzTMG7lExjqsRc2c0xwmLV7tAhbJ9o1BgylStZvIYOSEZWRyOg.OyPleMADh4sQ73g0wn1wgGgAxGt-apthZ2juhFucYMo&dib_tag=se&keywords=101+ways+to+find+calm&qid=1731254664&sprefix=101+ways+to+find+calm,aps,185&sr=8-1
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Cactusflower
Beloved Grand Eagle
If you read my post again, you’ll notice where I mention anxiety. I lost 40lbs, cried all the time, depressed, increased symptoms.. but this forum assured me that I could get through it. I tried a purely somatic approach with a TMS coach, and one of Alan Gordon’s therapists. Neither could help me with the anxiety until Claire Weekes and an EMDR therapist who didn’t believe in Sarno but did believe my pain was not physical. I still have a level of anxiety but now I can see it for what it is and I learned not to worry or freak out about the anxiety. I am several years into this journey and now just visit with my current TMS/life coach twice a year or so. Keep giving it time. You need to drop the desperation and learn to trust in yourself. You can do this. It will get better.
JanAtheCPA
Beloved Grand Eagle
And there it is, @Sarah89.
Warning: I'm not going to hold your hand - I'm in tough love mode right now, and IMHO, you're gonna have to grow up and get real.
I know, I know, you're going to have all kinds of excuses for having let this slip out, but the fact is that this slipped out in your desperation, AND it explains a lot about why you are SO unreasonably stuck. So please, don't bore us with the justifications. We're not buying them. Being an adult means being accountable for what you communicate.
Your primitive and fearful TMS brain has you COMPLETELY under its control, and this is an excellent example of the ways in which it is doing so.
Wishful thinking is not just immature, but it is anathema to recovery - it blocks the path. It's also a form of victimhood, and there's nothing more deleterious to recovery. Recovery simply can not take place in the face of victimhood.
Based on what I've also seen of your MANY repetitive posts, I'm 100% with @BloodMoon. There is no silver bullet. If there was, the entire tmswiki.org website would consist of one page with THE ANSWER and the exact steps to achieve it. This does not exist.
Here's a question to ponder: are you fighting to get well, or are you fighting to stay sick?
Another less tacful way to ask this: Would you rather just keep playing the victim? Because I have to warn you - around here, the folks who sincerely want to help eventually get tired of people who are stuck in victimhood, because all of their good advice is met with "Yes, but..." responses. The Yes, but... response invalidates the good advice, and no one enjoys being endlessly invalidated.
I'll get specific for a moment: I see no indication that you ever applied yourself to a program. I always recommend the Structured Education Program. It's similar in design to Dr. Howard Schubiner's Unlearn Your Pain workbook - but the SEP is free and easy to just do online (no registration requred). It's a commitment, it is not quick, and if you apply yourself to it with self-honesty and integrity, it's also not easy. Many people have recovered by making the commitment to do the SEP with those personal qualities.
Also, I may have missed it, but when I see someone this stuck, I want them to take the ACEs quiz, which is described and explained in this thread. Please read the entire top post, answer the ten questions of the quiz at the link provided and read the article, and also read the rest of the responses to the thread to get some other perspectives on the results. Then report back with your quiz result and thoughts. Again, maybe I missed seeing any discussion of your childhood in your other posts, but there were so many and so many of them were repetitive, I might have skimmed over something.