Just need to offload. Sciatica playing up - possible reason: Father just had heart surgery which was needed so that he could undertake bowel cancer surgery. Family tensions Starting new job next month Doing Phd studies. Past few months at current job very toxic environment After visiting father before heart surgery came back constipated and thought I, like he, had bowel cancer. All better now. But now have chest infection - irritating cough which is adding to me current tensions because I think I could be fatal. Since fathers bowel cancer surgery he now has had a heart attack and pneumonia - feels like my symptoms mirror his. I am over the constant worry. Just sick of it. I have a phobia about doctors. I am having to do a nine hour drive tomorrow to see my father in hospital. Just feel the universe is fucking me over.