random thoughts.

so earlier today I was really stressing out and feeling overwhelmed about going through the structured education program. so much to read and journal and so many links on every page with things to review etc...I was having a hard time journaling about how I feel about past experiences.

so for now I am going to take it a little slower on going through the structured education program. I am not giving up on it and in fact I plan to work harder at it in the sense of giving it my full attention when I am doing it instead of just trying to get it done, if that makes sense. sorting through all my repressed emotions is going to take some time and will be an ongoing process.

now I am really going to narrow my focus on overcoming the fear of the pain and realizing/reinforcing that the pain is from TMS not any structural damage or injury. and when I do feel pain accept it, don't hide from it but don't let it get in the way of me living my life.

to do this I plan to continue gradually doing more and more in they way of exercise and not let pain or the fear of pain slow me down. more importantly I'm going to start taking on more commitments. this is a big source of fear and anxiety for me. just like I did and am doing with exercise I am going to start small and continually build. for starters I am going to make plans to either cook for my family or go out to eat with them next weekend. my semi long term goal is to start working again by the end of August.

 

Those all sound like great ideas. When I first started the SEP I was getting overwhelmed so I was recommended the idea to take it slower. I started in mid January and haven't finished yet. (not that you need to take it that slow).

The commitment ideas you have are great. It's very very scary at first but eventually you'll beat down that fear. Practice, patience and repetition. Also don't forget to practice authentic indifference. So when you commit to a certain plan or activity it doesn't matter how you feel during or afterwards, nor does it matter how far you get. You've already begun creating those new neural pathways by standing up to your fear. You've already won just because you are trying. Also try practicing positive affirmations when negative thoughts creep in. Our minds need about 3-5 positive thoughts to every negative one to equal out.

 

Good for you, King. There's no time limit for completing the SEP, so congrats for realizing that you need to slow things down a bit. That will probably help you to get much more out of it, because you're delving into things, not just "skimming".

 

well just a little update.

I made the plans and followed through with the family get together. I did end up cooking and playing outside with some of the kids. had a lot of fun.

I've also been keeping up with my workouts.

tbh I haven't done any more of the SEP but I have reviewed the recovery program page and have used some of the techniques I've learned daily.

 

Hi King, your thoughts reinforce the personal nature of the challenge we all face...while the 'formula' for success is pretty basic and straightforward the variables in each of our personal 'labs' affects how and when we get the final result
...stay with it

 

I can totally relate to this! Today I was "supposed" to finish day 8 of the program, but I ended up having to do some other things and I didn't want to go through the journaling exercise in a rushed, mechanical way. So I just left it for tomorrow. Tomorrow will be day 8, part 2. The old me would be beating myself up over this -- how dare I start something and not complete it right away??? But the new me is totally fine with taking as long as I need instead of overextending myself. The second approach feels SO much better.

 

Hi TheKingAdRock,

A huge Beastie Boys fan huh? I watched some footage about how they emerged in the early 80s.

An excellent exchange of wisdom and knowledge.

I'm going to echo what others have said. Plus, I'd like to add, the subconscious mind has no concept of time and would like to share this quote...

Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

In addition, TMS healing is a journey into self discovery and takes gentle effort and persistency. Try not to put too many expectations on oneself or question the experience. Such questions only bring about negative habitual thinking. Just know the work, that you are embracing will bring about change on a psychological and physiological level. The unconcious has no concept of time, so unnecessary demands on oneself can only but fire up the amygdala and fuel pain. From my own journey, I understand one must have dedication, commitment and compassion to one self for change to occur.

Take care my friend and wishing you the best on your journey.

 

yes I'm a pretty big beastie boys fan.

thank you for the words of wisdom.


I have been away from here for awhile but I have been doing really well. i already hit my goal of getting a job and it's a pretty physical one on top of that and it's been going really well. focusing on excepting the diagnosis and trying to reprogram my mind to the fear has been HUGE.

for the most part i feel really good at work and have been keeping up with my workouts. it seems like when I have down time is when the pain/discomfort symptoms seem to come on. if anyone has any advice on this it would be great. I've just been focusing on not caring and also reinforce that it is due to tms. i think on all the hard physical activity i was able to do w/o pain or discomfort and use that to reinforce that their is no structural reason laying in ben should bring on any pain or discomfort.