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Ramblings/Pain after stressful days

Discussion in 'Support Subforum' started by veronica73, Apr 15, 2012.

  1. veronica73

    veronica73 Well known member

    I've been having kind of an intense time at work and this week had some additional stress with my partner's health.

    I felt pretty anxious and achy yesterday but I was able to keep it at bay and get through what I needed to...today I just feel like I crashed--I feel more achy-ness and anxiety even through the big stress has passed.

    Actually, as I think about it--this pain flare up started late last week when I got an email from a friend that said something to the effect of, glad you're feeling better, do you think you are now able to be part of xyz volunteer committee? The email had a tone of, ok are you better yet so you can help me? I know it wasn't meant that way but it bothered me. I often feel that my repression is that I'm feeling the tip of the iceberg of feelings--like I'm feeling 10% of how pissed off that email really made me.
  2. Pandamonium

    Pandamonium Well known member

    Well, looks like you have made the right connection between the pain flare up and the email from your friend. I would write a vile response in a word document, try and access the other 90% of how pissed off you are, and then delete it, that should help ;)
    Then you can write the civilised reply! Hope you feel better soon.
  3. veronica73

    veronica73 Well known member

    Thanks. I like that idea!
  4. Beach-Girl

    Beach-Girl Well known member

    Hi Veronica:

    Medical issues with our partners can be really stressful too. My husband has cancer and it seems any "abnormal" thing he does, or if he gets too tired, or if he has a new "pain" - all get me worried. My anxiety builds up and I have to step away and look at the facts. Not that this is what is going on with you, but I can relate to this. We care about our partners (in my case I've been a caretaker for him for years) and we don't want them in pain.Oddly his ex has been really helpful in getting me to calm down at times.

    Last summer, my husband I and I split for about 6 weeks. We were fighting constantly and I needed to get out of here. I didn't think he could handle "Our Universe" as I call it, but he did great. I helped out in the mornings with our cats before he was awake. This way we really didn't see each other and I came to realize he could keep up with the frantic pace of our lives. After our "cooling off period" we came to the same conclusion: we really wanted to be together. So I moved home. I learned he could do things for himself (which was a great relief) but since I've moved home, I'm back to doing all the hard stuff again. He has a real issue with fatigue due to the medications he's on. So I do need to step up in order to keep the house and our lives movin' and groovin'. He came all that way - only to revert back to some old habits. But for the most part, he's doing really well at keeping up his end of the chores.(can you tell I'm conflicted?) But I love him and want to be here for the last part of his journey - which is a long ways off. Ugh. Gotta learn to deal with this worry!

    Anyway - I wanted to acknowledge to you that it might be the email that angered you, but your partner's health could be lurking in there too. Examine your thoughts on that topic and see if it "fits" with your pain issues and where you are. I may be way off, or you could have some fear lurking.

    You're doing so well. I know this is just a "blip". And I also know that TMS/PPD is with us awhile until we learn to rethink our reactions to stress.

    It's really early here, hope this makes some sense.

    veronica73 likes this.
  5. veronica73

    veronica73 Well known member

    Oh yes, definitely a lot of it was worry about BF, I think the email was just what pushed me over the edge.

    That's a good reminder. I find sometimes when I have these "blips" I jump to thinking that I'm going backwards and back to pain.

    I can totally understand why you would be worried about your husband, that sounds like a really stressful situation. I think you are handling everything really well, with all you have going, not to mention TMS.

    Rock on, Beach Girl :)
    Beach-Girl likes this.
  6. Eric "Herbie" Watson

    Eric "Herbie" Watson Beloved Grand Eagle

    This is an awesome post, that's exactly the was I often feel tension
    like im getting only 10% of it. Although after mindfulness and meditation
    Some visualizations and affirmations I began to feel better.

    This is a life long journey and I know the stones will get smoother as I continue my journey-
    cause there soothed out so perfectly now. Ill keep on the smooth side of the coin-
    till I can get totally reconditioned to all phases ya know.

    We have the life phase which is relationship and happiness.
    We have the Reconditioning phase for our strength and the spiritual phase for our heart.
    We have values that if often not met will create tension too.

    So to sum up my journey so far, I believe im still at the tip of the iceberg but im
    really on a smooth soothing tip that glides with the ocean.
    Bless you

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